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Thread: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

  1. #1
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Genus: Latrodectus
    Phylum: Arthropoda
    Sub Phylum: Chelicerata
    Class: Arachnida
    Order: Araneae
    Sub Order: Labidognatha
    Family: Therididae
    Species: 6

    this lovely is known throughout all four deserts of the southwest.
    she spins a non patterened web like all members of the cobweb weaver family.

    although they are timid by nature, this beast's venom is
    15 TIMES as toxic as a prairie rattlesnake.

    it's stats are:
    Weight: 1 gram.

    Length: 1-1.5"

    Span: 1-3"

    Sexual Maturity: 70-90 days.

    Mating Season: Spring

    Incubation: 14-30 days

    No. of Eggs: 250-700/sac

    Birth Interval: 4 to 9 egg sacs/summer

    Lifespan: up to 3 years <------- holy fucking shit!!!!!!!

    Typical diet: insects

    and the bitch is living in my fucking bathroom with her damn sisters! urgh! I hate this species of arachnid the most....which is sad cuz I love arachnids.

    Found alittle chink in their armor thouhg. turns out the shiny substance on their exoskeleton is what makes their bodies so durable against most poisons........most poisons that is except for foam sprays used on it's natural enemy, the dirt dauber wasp. sprayed a whole can on six of the things last night. It's like napalm to em.

    anybody guess what Arachnid Im reffering to?

  2. #2
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    two more facts about this femme fatle I have discovered personally. when confronted, they play possom as in they turn on their abcks and curl up their legs to look dead. and if you attack them and do not succeed in killing them and try to move thing sout of the way, they will connect a webline to the object you try to move and use it being lifted as a way to get closer to you and attack you back.

  3. #3
    Umbilical Lotus's Avatar Pregnant with Atrocities
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Yay for living in Canada, where the spiders don't kill you but the ladybugs do.

    We've been infested, these past few summers, with killer death ladybugs which like to gleefully walk down your arm eating away a red line of skin. Eerie.

    Bugs suck.

  4. #4

    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Quote Originally Posted by malcolm
    two more facts about this femme fatle I have discovered personally. when confronted, they play possom as in they turn on their abcks and curl up their legs to look dead. and if you attack them and do not succeed in killing them and try to move thing sout of the way, they will connect a webline to the object you try to move and use it being lifted as a way to get closer to you and attack you back.

    Sounds like nasty little bitches....There is one thing that is guarenteed to stop most any insect....A 10 1/2 D Wide Boot....One shot and they are dead...

  5. #5
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    mine are twelves reinforced with sheetmetal screws sometimes I miss. lol I like to torture the things though. theyre an abomination. a freak of nature. anyone guessed what they are?

  6. #6
    Evilbink's Avatar Sanctimonious Satyr
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Well your in AZ.. so my guess would be a Black Widow

  7. #7
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    ding ding ding! correct bink! ofcourse I think youre a scarizonan too sooooooo no fair! lol. yeh big,black,ugly...these bastards like it out here cuz the neighborhood has a roach problem and guess what their main food source is? roaches! no dirt daubers out here too. fuck!

    Dirt dauber wasps are one of their natural predators.

  8. #8
    Evilbink's Avatar Sanctimonious Satyr
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Nope...I'm a Motor City Man

  9. #9
    Pzychotic's Avatar Dark Entity
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    WOW!!! That would leave a nasty mark if it bit you, I've seen plenty of Black Widows when my G'ma lived in Pheonix, your right too, nasty little buggers to get rid of...

  10. #10
    morbid_lady's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Quote Originally Posted by Umbilical Lotus
    Yay for living in Canada, where the spiders don't kill you but the ladybugs do.

    We've been infested, these past few summers, with killer death ladybugs which like to gleefully walk down your arm eating away a red line of skin. Eerie.

    Bugs suck.

    where the hell are these killer lady bugs???!!! are they in ontario? i've never heard of em

  11. #11
    Umbilical Lotus's Avatar Pregnant with Atrocities
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Quote Originally Posted by morbid_lady
    where the hell are these killer lady bugs???!!! are they in ontario? i've never heard of em
    Last time I went down to Ashbridge's Bay the fuckers swarmed me. They like it by the lake. I live in Toronto. Apparently they're an import, rather than some sort of horrible mutant ladybug, but it still weirds me out getting bitten by them.

  12. #12
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Just glad I don't live like in oklahoma anymore (lived there a while) they got brown reclusesout there. and yeh. widows are a pain to get rid of. I found out that the foam used on hornets and yellow jackets works rather effectively on them as does GUNK.......most mechanics Im sure know what gunk is...lol. see widows have a shiyn protcetive coating over their exoskeleton which makes it hard for most insecticides to get through.as do most yellowjackets and hornets. well, if you can strip that shiny coat off of them, theyre verybritte and weak.The foam envelopes them like napalm and slowly liquifies evryhting. they turn into little black puddles. lol . the gunk does the same but it takes longer and eitherone of em you have to douse them till they stop moving. sucks. They're fast little fuckers....ofcourse most arachnids are faster than insects anyway.....longer leg span and more of em.

  13. #13
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    why does it seem that everything happens to you? maybe im living in the wrong place. maybe i'll come pay you a visit and we'll see what we can get into.

  14. #14
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    remember that old phrase....Trouble comes looking for you? well, I've never met trouble so i guess I am trouble. lol I actually live a pretty mundane boring life. I paint-I go for walks nightly, drink forties and go to the stripclubs on hoofs. but yeh, come on over st....I'll show you my um....toy collection. lol

  15. #15
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    i'll bring some of my own "toys" k? hehehe...

  16. #16
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    deal. lol. my collection isnt that big....well, the toys are but the amount isnt. lol

  17. #17
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    mine is. both ways. *winks*

  18. #18
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    you little minx! lol be wary I am a lord.tend to occasionally get domme on people. lol

  19. #19
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    oh! and to clarify minx to me is not a bad thing. lol it's a good thing. lol just like calling someone a cunt to me is not a bad thing either. it's an odd erotic compliment. lol

  20. #20
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    we'll see about that...

  21. #21
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    dont worry i think its a very good thing.

  22. #22
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    now im a have to take a shower in the blackwidow room.....lol is okay, I do a safe passage request to ananzi befor i go in....I know im cooky.......asking safe passage of spiders form an old spider goddess. lol

  23. #23
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    it's weird thouhg-I think about a spider and it appears....I think about a bat and it appears....I once talked abouit a scorpion in public and guess what i almost steppd on? a scorpion.....boy! am I dark or what? lol just arachnids and flying mammals for now....luckily no snakes cuz all the snakes out ehre are poisonous. lol

  24. #24
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    ok now think about a sexy girl and poof! there i am. damn thats awesome! lol

  25. #25
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    lol im a add you to my messenger list you keep it up! lol
    they get cam shows. lol

  26. #26
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    sounds good.

  27. #27
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    it's blackdozenroses on yahell. I gotta go now but Ill be back on later. whats yours?

  28. #28
    suicidal_tendencies's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    kayla200614895, boring huh? had it forever. but its the only one i can remember. lol

  29. #29
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    okay. now that everyone knows who I am on yahell.....lol yeh.
    1orglaugh:


    found one of th ebabies dead thismorning. she was just curled up where she fell from the blast. course they like playin possum too so I splatted he just in case. one of these days IM gonna catch one and preserve it in something to wear as an amulet....

  30. #30
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    okay-the laugh thingy didnt come out right. owell....

  31. #31
    sheramil's Avatar Maracite Inreach program
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    Quote Originally Posted by malcolm
    Genus: Latrodectus

    anybody guess what Arachnid Im reffering to?
    could it be Latrodectus (formerly Latrodectus Mactans) Hasselti? ooh, my favourite. called the Redback, down here. came home once and saw a little male sitting on the back doorknob, just waiting for a human hand to come near.

    the little bastard.

    i freaked and used an entire can of insecticide. then i picked the body up with tweezers and put it in a little jar filled with Blue Nun brandy. i wanted to make sure i knew where it was, even if it was dead.

  32. #32
    grebo's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    i had a redback on my hand once, flicked it away without realising what it was, wonder what i wouldve done if my brain had worked a second faster. glad i didnt squash it on my hand.

  33. #33
    scabre's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    ahhhhh.... and over here we have house spiders and scream

  34. #34
    grebo's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    australias a deadly place, we got crocs, snakes, spiders, scorpions, and the rare but extremely dangerous drop bears!!!!!!! ask an aussie about them

  35. #35
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    those bears that just drop out of nowhere?
    lol
    that'd be cool. lol

  36. #36
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    and no, it's not the red back, although they are in the same family. this is the one and only-original true maccoy black widow....also known as the button spider. I have read some stuff up about redbacks though too. they're related.
    I live in scarizona-redbacks are an aussie thing.

  37. #37

    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    had some of them bitches in My home last year, so I took them, and got what I could find and put into a bottle, added charcoal llighter and threw in a firecracker werent there no more after that

  38. #38
    malcolm's Avatar the bored one.
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    yeh.....I live in a mobile home....if I were to do that-the house woul probly go up with it. lol <----home made by half ass labor workers.

  39. #39
    Pull~My~Hair's Avatar makes your life seem good
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    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    when I lived in southern oregon there were black widows everywhere, along with a few brown recluses....but then there were these little jumping bastards...tricky little things, ya never know where they are gonna go...but...since we are on the topic about a week ago I had the sickest dream ever
    I had a dream that a brown recluses crawled up and layed eggs in my ovaries and spiders kept falling out and crawling down my legs....sick shit

    I am afraid of spiders more than anything else in the world....I guess not afraid, but they creep me out

  40. #40

    Default Re: guess what surprised me in my bathroom!

    I live in one as well Maalcollm, but what a wonderful tool a old webber grill is for pyrotecnics

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