The Age Old Chase

[Tequila Zaire]

After reading that Stalker thread it got me thinking about where the line is between stalking and normal pursuit of the opposite (or same) sex?

I have the attention span of a fruit fly so I can't really be a stalker in the sense I'd stake out a spot across from a girls home, call her 40 times a day, or happen to show up at the same places. It just seems like too much effort for no gain. So maybe it's more out of selfishness with a spot of lazyness that I can't connect with people who actually do that.

However I can understand "The Chase". That age old practice of going after one you have a crush on and think you love with the intensity of a heat seaking missle. Many a romantic tale has been built upon it and many women say they enjoy being "chased". Yet where does this practice cross over into stalking?

Is it called stalking because the one being stalked does not like the person doing the actual stalking? or is it a pattern of behaviour that goes from acceptable infatuation to creepy actions?

What's a guy to do when he sees a woman he likes but has no traditional in road into meeting them? How do you keep from being the "creepy stalker"?

How does this all effect the old act of "chasing" a woman or man one has their heart on? Does it make things more ambiguous and shy or will it push for clearity and understandable intent? Does this all kill the romance of old?

[pixina]

ahh romance....
i think there are definite differences between the chase and stalking. i have had flowers left on my doorstep or had the same guys ask me out a few times, show up at my work and try to get noticed... whatever... but when there is someone peeping in your windows or following you around... parking outside your house all night, etc. eek!

i had one girl stalk me. her intentions were not romantic at all. she had this strange obsession with me (i think because i had purple hair-seriously). she would call my work and breathe on the phone at me all heavily while asking me rediculous questions. she would show up at my work several times a day and basically do the same thing in person. she would try on clothes that were 5 sizes to small and want me to help her out with them. babble at me about dresses and sci-fi stuff. how cool i was and how much she liked purple. she was soo bad security kicked her out and told her never come back.

i think chasing a girl/guy you want is ok. i don't think the socially inept actually come across as stalkers. it just isn't the same. there is something mental with stalkers that go beyond the normal. a romantic might sing outside a girls window or whatever but not hide in the bushes and follow her around town.