do you feel bad after being hostile to someone?

[karyn]

do you feel bad after being hostile to someone if they deserved what you said? do you feel bad after being hostile to someone if they maybe didn't deserve what you said?

[Sara X]

sometimes i think i was a bit too harsh but as a rule, anything goes when someone deserves a good toungue-lashing (insert juvenile joke here). if they didn't deserve it... i generally apologize, in the event that i feel it's necessary. i'm not a TOTAL cunt.

[Mirren]

That's a great question Karyn. I suppose I may regret saying something not so diplomatically but the intent was there , so I meant it while I was saying it. Of course I can feel bad about it but that really doesn't help anything. Sometimes you just have to learn from the mistake and try to not repeat it. You can always swallow your pride and apologize but that does not always get you out of the shit. That's why you really have to have emotions in order and not be projecting before you go off on a person .

[Amelia G]

If I feel like I lashed out when I shouldn't have or spoke out of turn -- bad mood or wrong info or something like that -- I feel really really awful and definitely apologize. If I feel like I spoke my mind and someone who really needed to be set straight couldn't handle the truth . . . well, let's just say I feel pretty dandy about that.

I tend to accept apologies from other people if they seem heartfelt, unless what someone said exposed some general negative view. One of my pet peeves is supposed friends who say "I hate you" when you tell them about something good that happened to you.

[Jax]

As most people know, I have quite a big opinionated mouth.

But I generally do not feel bad if I tell someone what I feel about them or their actions.

If its unfounded, I do feel bad and apologize.

[One Eyed Cat]

do you feel bad after being hostile to someone if they deserved what you said? do you feel bad after being hostile to someone if they maybe didn't deserve what you said?

If they deserved it, I would only regret it in instances where the person lashed out indefinitely at me. I believe in closure. I have to accept my willingness to maintain quasi-personal conflicts is limited by my nature. I have to ignore the attacks (I generally end up pitying the other person also)

In instances where I am operating from false information, I simply apologize. I tend to want to take universal stands. I believe our society is in great peril. It is wrong for me to target people who are doing their best under the circumstances (the context and lack of veracity of the facts as they seem)

In other instances, one may be justified in their hostility. I think you have to determine what a given fight is worth to you. It is often better to simply walk away. You have to concentrate your support on true friends, family, and your principles. Hopefully, this will include empathy for others in peril. Lacking a clear definition of the common good, all else is trivial. Sad but true.

OEC

[seeker]

I am generally reserved in what I say so if I do lash out at someone it is because they deserve it. I do sometimes apologise because I'm to honest or that is what they say.

I dislike, hate, lieing so say what I think and believe and so need to sometimes calm people down who are not use to people telling them what they think.

[keiko]

yes, and then i'm even more hostile.

K

[GnArKiLL]

yeah i feel bad, but i definetly dont let them see that.

[drewblood]

yes, and then i'm even more hostile.

K

lol, and that's why you fuckin rock

[Anarkey]

nope i mean every word when im pissed off ,i dont open my mouth untill im fed the fyck up then i cut loose but i make sure its well founded r i say nothing..
some times the truth hurts ,but hey its better to bytch them out then lie to your self and say its just fine when its not.there has been times when i go alittle over board and i do feel bad .
but i try not to dwell on it ..

[Morning Glory]

yes. however, my usual approach is to be childish and simply stop talking to the person that pissed me off. maybe it's not too childish, as a good way to avoid conflict. but I do it out of spite, so that they will realize how much they miss me and come crawling back. it generally ends up with me caving in and being the one to crawl back, having forgeoten what pissed me off and gotten over it by then, or just never talking to them again.

[inox]

These days, I tend not to get to the point of open hostility unless someone is really asking for it. That said, no, I don't feel bad in the least.

[Mr Karl]

obviously I'm hostile for a reason, why feel bad cause I hurt someone's feelings?

[Camby Savelle]

It takes alot to really get me to the point I feel I need to say something.

Most of the time I am hostile towards someone else it's in self defense. I don't feel sorry for defending myself and/or my beliefs.

[Amelia G]

I've been contemplating this question and really I do feel bad for the other person sometimes, when they really deserved it. Sometimes I just feel a certain empathy and pity for them for having made such bad choices that I'd feel hostile towards them. So, although I don't regret being hostile to someone who deserves it, sometimes I feel bad just out of empathy for knowing how bad they probably feel. Did that make sense?

[One Eyed Cat]

I've been contemplating this question and really I do feel bad for the other person sometimes, when they really deserved it. Sometimes I just feel a certain empathy and pity for them for having made such bad choices that I'd feel hostile towards them. So, although I don't regret being hostile to someone who deserves it, sometimes I feel bad just out of empathy for knowing how bad they probably feel. Did that make sense?

I know what you mean. I feel bad if I have too much of a disparate impact, if they really fight it. I have all my "life partners". I can only maintain a basic human empathy for the rest. If they get in the way of our goals, however, I may feel no remorse. You just have to be careful with who you become involved with. Obviously, you can't avoid those situations altogether.

OEC

[Baby_Switchblade]

Usually I regret what I've said and I apologise soon thereafter.
But sometimes they really deserve it, and something needs to be said for it. Occasionally I'll feel a little bad because maybe I was still a tiny bit too harsh, even if they did deserve it... in which case I'll apologise for my choice of words, but I'll tell them that I still mean what I said.

[World*in*my*Eyes]

I Never Feel Bad, If The Person Deserve What I Said. If I Said It They Deserved What I Said. I Do Not Feel Bad When This Is The Reason. Some People Need To Be Awaken To Reality. I Awake Them. I Do Not Tolerate.

[World*in*my*Eyes]

Usually I regret what I've said and I apologise soon thereafter.
But sometimes they really deserve it, and something needs to be said for it. Occasionally I'll feel a little bad because maybe I was still a tiny bit too harsh, even if they did deserve it... in which case I'll apologise for my choice of words, but I'll tell them that I still mean what I said.

ON MY NICER SIDE, I COULD AGREE WITH THE ABOVE QUOTE.

[malcolm]

it all depends on the person. if it's someone i consider close then yes but if it's someone whose a deuche bag anyway then no.

[Nudemuse]

For me it really depends. I used to have a habit of going nuclear on pretty much anybody at any time and as I'm getting older I've stopped doing that quite so often. I still have my moments and I know I can be rude and nasty but, I try to keep that for people that do deserve it.

If it's someone I really care about I will apologize for being harsh or going off on them. Especially if the situation didn't warrent that kind of melt down. If it's someone I am not that close to I generally won't apologize. Unless I was totally out of line then I will apologize and mean it.

I hate to throw apologies around so I tend to save them for when they matter.

[bohoki]

yes i feel bad most of the time because if i use my 20/20 hindsight i realize i could have headed it off if i would have dome something simple

but it is so hard to make something fool proof or head off misunderstandings if you know the other person has been a complete dolt in the past

[DARKGYM]

If they desrved it I have never felt bad about being hostile to them. If they didn't deserve it then generally I will appologise to them though sometimes it may take a while for me to stop holding the grudge.

[sheramil]

do i feel bad after being hostile? well, yes, a little - it's only natural - but all that disappears when you have to dig a hole for the body. it's just not worth the hassle to force *them* to dig the hole before you kill them.

[a_small_death]

Genrally I don't feel bad about what I say. Perhapes I'm just too fucking hostile.

[Mindgames]

In short, no. I'm a cruel, heartless bastard without feelings, or in layman's terms, a "man". *wink*

I'm opinionated and not afraid to stand up for my point of view, but if it's wrong, fine to accept defeat after a reasonable fight. I'm known for it, but there's a difference between calling a spade a spade and saying something simply to be hurtful. With folks I don't know, it takes very little for them to take me the wrong way, so I probably hurt the feelings of a good handful every day - and to be frank if it's not intended, then I'm not going to apologize for it. If they haven't got the intelligence to see the context, they deserve it as a life lesson.

With folks I know, it takes a lot for me to really go off on one, so when I do it's intended to hurt - better to throw an insult than a TV set. Look, we meet close to 100,000 people in a lifetime and make about 500 friends - that's a lot of filtering, and if someone can't cope with the way I am, they're filtered just like they filter me. It's not cruel, it's not heartless.. it's just choice.

mG

[mmmcherry]

hahaa funny this thread should be in effect right now... today at work i found out that a girl that everyone cant stand working with (jenn) was fired for freaking out on one of our delivery drivers, a woman that everyone loves to death (cecilia). cecilia told jenn to quit fooling around and get back to work or something, she was being really disruptive, and jenn turns around and freaks on her, calling her a bunch of dirty names and everything... totally fucking uncalled for... and is now suing cecilia for getting her fired. cecilia didnt get her fired, she got herself fired. and jenn was sitting out in the parking lot today with her mom, basically just stalking cecilia... harrassment... everyone was wondering, doesnt she have anything better to do? like... maybe find a new job and get over it?? jesus...
funny thing too is jenn was one of the most recent people hired at my store... but walks around bossing everyone around and acting like the boss. not in a good constructive way either... everyone thinks shes a bossy bitch... gahhhh... she needs to go away.

[entuska]

Depends on what they did, but most of the time...yes.

[Kidthorazine]

genneraly it takes a lot for me to even consider being hostile towards someone and when i do i usually dont feel bad because if they pushed me enough for me me to lash out at them then they probbaly deserved it.

[Vitorro]

depending on what it was to make Me get hostile and all, I would apologise to the person I just bitched out . BUT, if they deserved it, like the bastard that almost ran me off the road for being on his cell phone, not a chance in hell of feeling bad.