heil everyone! introducing me. i am no-one.

[helcyon]

Hi there. I'm a sincere and sincerely cheeky chap.
[groan]
[gag]
[gag]
[sound of an enormous vomit like the guy in the article currently on this site's homepage who gets paid to make these type of noises]
[reader mood of suspicion and disgust begins to rise steadily]
Yeah right but even tho that is the MOST SICKENINGLY F** LAME THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN or ever wish to again in the POSSIBLY/POSSIBLY NOT ETERNAL FUTURE it is actually sort of a good description of what to expect from me.
[reader if still reading now not sure]
That is the price of joining your forum... making an intro topic about myself... and I've paying it now... thank you. i haven't read your intro yet but i just got here. therefore i don't know how you went about it but this is me allright so suck it and see.

Ok now that the literary lowlight of my life has come and gone the only way is up so let's get it started.

Sincere: I'm not goin' to lie to make friends, to make myself look better than I admittedly actually am or about anything whatso f** ever... (yes i know you are allowed to say fuck here but i like typing f* sometimes and sometimes not). i don't need to tell pork-pies and i can't think of why anyone would except that you are lame or you are running some play that i can't figure.... not yet anyway girlfriend. If I post to your topic it's most likely going some sort of combination of the following:
1. I'm interested and I've got something to say that i think is a worthwhile
contribution
2. Some humourous comment has come to me from the limitless store of my wit
3. Oh I don't know... some other reason... I'll look at it case by case

Sincerely Cheeky: look at yourself... if you are easy to poke good natured fun at it's not my fault... most of the universe falls into this category (including myself I'd say) so don't feel bad sooky.
[reader now either long gone, is partially re-assured, is a mean bitter fuck or is thick]

Guys don't hold back on me... go your hardest i think i can take it... try to hurt my one feeling (if you can figure what that is then let me know... uh-oh i'm tellin fibs already i'm actually deeply in touch my emotionally immature inner void... ask some of my ex girlfriends). I'll just think you're funny, sad or start crying 'cos it's true but i won't tell my mum on you.

Unless you are a complete prick I'll probably go easy on you all for a short period of grace tho haha. bring it on spunky.

Oh and please accept my apologies in advance cos i am slow sometimes, erm... many times, at replying. I'm often really busy (lookin for ways to never grow up usually unfortunately), i like the internet (heck i've made a professional career out of it actually... might tell you some time... proud of myself) but i do have other things to do... you know... that stuff that people write about on the internet? You are going to need this apology straight away cos I've gotta go straight after starting this thread for example but I'll be back sooner or later kind gentle innocent hobbit folk (and everyone else). Look f** it i don't know about you guys but it's saturday afternoon here in Sydney Australia and my fly-by-night friends have been hassling me to come drinking since they woke me up at 2.30 pm. How can i refuse i must obey. I don't hang on many (or any really) other blogs, wikis, chats or wotevers... i see enuf of that sort of stuff while i'm being paid to do it as i climb the corporate ladder as a charming unusual business psycopath hoho. Except maybe some muso type forums or technical IT stuff... yes i am a muso
[reader groans and thinks "ok... a wanker then"]
c'mon anyone can do it... all societies have it... birds do it... bees do it... even doris day do it. you can't stop the music. no-body can stop the music.

* Music a big passion for me. almost every sentence you speak wil remind me of the lyrics of some song. my tastes are wide and i am open minded and can learn something from stuff that is outside of my taste but i don't have to like everything... no-one does that i ever heard of.
* Ok I love dyed hair... not only but true
* Born a rocker die a rocker
* I don't like Instant Message or chat
* I'm going to use australian spelling even tho after thinking about it american spelling is slightly more logical (sorry ma'm... i'm talking directly to the the queen of england now... you know who you are)
* i have convictions but i try to listen (yes it can be hard but it's sort of essential with communication) and i'm not too stubborn to change my opinion if upon analysis i end up agreeing with you more than myself.
* i wanted to display my age and birthday... i like me... but after a very quick look i couldn't find anyone else who did and since it seems to have been some sort of "issue" in the past i decided to be a gutless sheep and not display for now. i might change my mind and it's easy to find out anyway. it's a man's perogative to change his mind.
* you may or may not hear much from me anyway... time will tell

I have a *******. I might tell you some day but its not very hard to figure out the URL tech-kiddy or not. It could be in my profile I don't care. I set it up recently and i think it hits the mark sort of for now. I'm sorry but I'm unlikely to accept new ******* friends that is unless you are a legend, remarkably hot (that's a lot of you), i know you (yes it is not entirely unlikely that some of you reading do actually know me) or wotever reason at my complete discretion. i only wanted maximum 20 ******* friends and i've already hit 21 so i'm already being untrue to myself. oh no i'll put it up to 30 worry worry. i'd really like people to pop in for a quick look and i'll put more photos where they are publicly accessible sooner or later (web page load times... grumble). some of my friends have others do their pages for them and that's cool but i don't at this stage.

I have a website and even tho it's totally under construction with no project timeframe it's the coolest under construction page i've ever seen if i say so myself. even so it needs an hour or two of tweaking but i i haven't yet been bothered. I've already decided that it will be easy to turn into an awesome epitaph once i die... travelling the highways and byways of the cold lonely information superhighway for all eternity or however long my estate can keep up with the hosting fees. mildly morbidly funny enuf for you? nup didn't think so hehe.

there's much much more and i'm available cheaper than you think... i'm cheap haha... unless i'm on a date with you which means we're both lucky (well maybe not you so much as me ;-) but i mean well and we have great stuff to eat and drink and dance and etc. even here in Sydney no question) or you are one of my eternally and unfixably poverty-stricken friends in which case i've accepted the situation a long time ago and i do need someone to drink with after all. I know the story... dam bleeding hearts and artists!

you can afford it!
[reader's thoughts unknown to me. no i don't know everything but i know OF a lot]

you could be some of the greatest people... otherwise i would not have bothered typing this odd essay and if you knew how crap my typing skills are then you would know how much effort this cost me ;-) no time to proof read gotta party but not apologisin for that ever again unless i'm terribly terribly late replying.

I heil you! glamour people of darkness and light. irreverent citizens of existence. spirits of knowledge and wonder. lovers and collaborators. my cat phoenix. i'm thirsty.

later alligator

[Lady Alias]

What?

[Velvet-Tongue]

I give the third untill I can understand what you're saying my brother

[Mindgames]

c'mon... it beats "uh.. hi.", and it's chronologically accurate so even if the guy pastes all that from another site, he's intelligent enough to get the day right!

I won't say anything about Aussie musicians that Men At Work haven't said before, but welcome all the same.It's a weekend and so an alcofrolic period for most of us, so I'm expecting a lot more replies the same as Lady A

[helcyon]

haha yes well it may take some time to understand even the simplest of things let alone something as complex as a few paragraphs about the inside of ones head written by oneself. thanks and good on you for trying that's nice. more people telling me I suck is something that gives me some good conversation starters for laughs, i like beer, you can have the nuts. if you don't like beer vodka is ok or i'll take both glasses. so whatever is fine but I think option 3 "sucks and blows" is my favourite. an intro was asked for and that's what was provided. the price of entry is paid. beware coming to a post very near you. ;-)

[motormenace]

If someone can't type the word FUCK online or say it in person, I don't care what they say!......next post?

[Mr Karl]

hello

[helcyon]

c'mon... it beats "uh.. hi."

that's what i would've thought.

I won't say anything about Aussie musicians that Men At Work haven't said before

yes you got me there and there's absolutely no comeback i can provide... but where would you be without Helen Reddy? according to wikipedia ms "I am Woman" "... is now a practicing Clinical Hypnotherapist in Sydney". I am going to make an appointment to help me take up smoking.

even if the guy pastes all that from another site

unfortunately I have to take the credit for every word painfully two-figer typed. I guess whatever it was that i was drinking the night before can have a co-credit. Nice one mindgames... maybe one day I could commission you to make a woman for me. If you double up on the good components and leave out the bad ones are they the same price? just jokin... you could argue that if you applied the same formula to men then you would end up with thin air as two times nothing is nothing. there's a guy here who makes armour (chainmail, helmets, gauntlets, weapons, fantasy items, wotever. it's mighty awesome... they get him over to the tower of London to maintain theirs) so I'd better get some as I think I'm about to get shot on all sides.

If someone can't type the word FUCK online or say it in person, I don't care what they say!......next

erm... if someone can't actually read but implies they can I don't give a fuck what they say about what I've written. there there i'll let you off the hook this time little one. just think of it this way: f., f**, f__k, fuck etc. are all different forms of the same concept but subtly different... sort of like the many different words your eskimo brothers and sisters have for snow......next

[motormenace]

Fuck! I' m not an eskimo

Also, just so you know, i like to mess with people. So welcome!

[GnArKiLL]

I give the third untill I can understand what you're saying my brother

damn i didnt even read past option 2 before i voted.

[Bondage Clown]

All that "Blah, Blah" and not on mention of midgets.. WTF.. Come one.. Show some midget love, and you will have small freinds forever.

Welcome and be merry...

BTW that has got to be the longest intro I have read. But you still don't get any midget love.. .until you answer these questions 3.

1. Would you rather fuck an AIDS infested Amazon, or a Gay midget Leper?

2. If Janet reno, and Tony Blair called you and said they wanted a 3 some with you, would you except?

3. If you got on a bus full of Ebola-virus carrying Lepers, Would you get off?

[Anarkey]

hello;s ...dont mind me ,


Cheeky Midgets

[motormenace]

I still have seen anything about midgets!!!!

[Exquisite]

Ack again I'm late and honestly too tired to read the above or vote.

Welcome anyway ^^

[c4wolf]

wow ty i now understand exactly what NOT to write n How long i should NOT write it! ;P