+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    1

    Default Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
    Take your foot off his head.

  2. #2
    evilstonermonkey's Avatar Please don't run away...
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    New Kiwiland, subtle rulers of all the world.
    Posts
    1,163

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    i wonder if there was a link after that maybe... something like click here for further jokes and a virus thatll **** you so hard your children are impregnated! or get more jokes (and a self-destruct timer on your computer) here!

  3. #3
    helcyon's Avatar i am no one
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    dimension zero
    Posts
    663

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    oooo... lawyer bashing... constantly surrounded by literally hundreds and hundreds of 'em meself.... just can't resist so....

    I'm informed that this is actual court-room dialogue... stop me if you've heard this:

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Quote Originally Posted by evilstonermonkey
    i wonder if there was a link after that maybe... something like click here for further jokes and a virus thatll **** you so hard your children are impregnated! or get more jokes (and a self-destruct timer on your computer) here!

  5. #5

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Quote Originally Posted by helcyon
    oooo... lawyer bashing... constantly surrounded by literally hundreds and hundreds of 'em meself.... just can't resist so....

    I'm informed that this is actual court-room dialogue... stop me if you've heard this:

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
    rofl.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    2,545

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Yes, I'm a natural (dark) blonde... I dont get the original joke posted. If anyone could clarify it for me. I'm appreciate it.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Hope i'm not being lured into a trap.

    But...you were drowning the lawyer. So to stop him from dieing you lift your foot off his head.

    ....Joke time from 8th grade.

    A man is cheating on his wife with his beautiful secretary. They go at it long into the night and both fall asleep. When the husband awakes its nearly midnight and he panics "Shit fuck!...Hey..go take my shoes and rub them in the grass" "Why?" "Just do it!"

    Guy rushes home and his wife meets him at the door "Where were you at? I almost called the police!"

    The man frowns and says "Honey I can't tell you a lie. I've been sleeping with my secretary"

    "Oh you big lier you...you were out playing golf again werent you?"

    /crawls back into cave.

  8. #8
    Senior_Diablo's Avatar in a rowboat
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    PA, USA
    Posts
    1,093

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    lulz...i dont know any good lawyer jokes..sigh

  9. #9
    Tinman's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    York, England
    Posts
    289

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    lol, oh and O k, thats a velvet tongue lol

    there was a few lawyer jokes goin round after oj trial lol

    u gotta love em, coz u cant legaly kill em,lol

  10. #10
    Senior_Diablo's Avatar in a rowboat
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    PA, USA
    Posts
    1,093

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinman
    lol, oh and O k, thats a velvet tongue lol

    there was a few lawyer jokes goin round after oj trial lol

    u gotta love em, coz u cant legaly kill em,lol
    if the glove dont fit, you must acquit

  11. #11
    Dusk's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    759

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    If the glove fits, I killed it.

  12. #12
    Black Spiral Dancer's Avatar RedHead Admirer Supreme!
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Gateshead, Tyne & Wear, England
    Posts
    2,477

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    To Clarify, the reason Sharks won't attack Lawyers...

    Mutual respect for predators.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    I just figured sharks wouldn't eat human waste.

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    2,545

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Quote Originally Posted by OrganizedKhaos
    Yes, I'm a natural (dark) blonde... I dont get the original joke posted. If anyone could clarify it for me. I'm appreciate it.
    Sorry for being a smart ass... I was kidding.

  15. #15
    evilstonermonkey's Avatar Please don't run away...
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    New Kiwiland, subtle rulers of all the world.
    Posts
    1,163

    Default Re: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    terrorists took over a courtroom this morning. if their demands are not met, they are threatening to release a lawyer every hour on the hour...

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-23-2006, 08:30 AM
  2. I'm Under Attack!!!
    By killerkat in forum Blue Blood Boards
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-31-2005, 04:38 PM
  3. What Film Biz Lawyers Charge
    By MistressJennifer in forum Blue Blood Boards
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-17-2005, 11:17 AM
  4. Agents, Managers and Lawyers
    By MistressJennifer in forum Blue Blood Boards
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-14-2005, 09:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Blue Blood
Trappings | Personalities | Galleries | Entertainment | Art | Books | Music | Popcorn | Sex | Happenings | Oddities | Trade/Business | Manifesto | Media | Community
Blue Blood | Contact Us | Advertise | Submissions | About Blue Blood | Links | $Webmasters$
Interested in being a Blue Blood model, writer, illustrator, or photographer? Get in touch