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The Green Squigly!
http://members.roadfly.com/jesusstol...JelloPage.html
Jello has been around for ages. You have all seen the Jello commercials with "Bill Cosby". I hope I am not the only one who finds it unsettling that they advertise "J-E-L-L-O It's alive". Jello actually has been around for millions of years. Jello killed the dinosaurs and shot kennedy. Jello also ate the apple in the garden of eden. It blamed Eve because she was stoned.
Jello is not something that is eaten for a snack. Jello actually is an alien life form that came from mars to destroy our peaceful world. Bill Cosby is their chosen messenger. Bill Cosby has also been around for millions of years. He and the Jello like to cuddle at night like in those gay movies with Ben Affleck and some random chick that is too lame to be in any movie with a real actor.
Jello is the reason for summer school and it made you fail algebra. Jello enjoys sitting behind you and farting so that you get blamed. Jello also causes you to pop a boner (even if you are a girl) when you are standing in front of the class so that you will be made fun of. Jello is the reason we grow old.
Jello also causes you to get picked last for all the sports. Haha not really, you just get picked last because you suck and you are useless. How dare you try to blame Jello.
Jello is impossible to digest. Once eaten, it attaches itself to your intestines and causes you to grow old by eating away all your energy. Jello spreads when kids eat it. It will hatch inside you when the Jello mothership decides it is in enough stomachs. Once it hatches, it will be like a scary ass sci-fi movie and there will be towering jello aliens with big scythes and wings flying around. Then the TV slogan will change to "J-E-L-L-O: We told you it was alive"
It is impossible to kill Jello with any weapons, It is best to leave it inside it's alien plastic container and walk away. If someone ever offers you Jello, they are probably possessed by Bill Cosby. I suggest you run because jello is also capable of frying people's minds with its radioactive brain frying powers. Jello also routinely robs banks.
I once saw jello walking down the road, it was scary. Nobody else saw it though because they were sober. Once Jello gets inside you it will plant deadly mushrooms with the precision of a stoned hobo with downs syndrome. Right before you die, you will see Bill Cosby. He will say something to you but you wont understand it because he can't talk right since he is an idiot.
The auorora borealis is a lie. It is actually jello waiting to crawl into your ear and eat your mind. Jello also starred in the movie "The Passion of Christ" and played both the role of Jesus and Satan at the same time. Jello was in a few other movies too including "A nightmare on elm street", "Grease", and "The Ten Commandments". Jello played as Moses in "The Ten Commandments". Jello won an oscar for its performance in all those movies. If you watch those movies Jello will crawl into your ear and eat your mind. Or maybe it will just molest you. Jello also played as "The Fonz" from the hit show "Happy Days" but everyone already knew that. Jello is a womanizer.
That is a sample of Jello when I did a search on Jello Conspiracies.
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