Country Club Dude Bangs Hos, Gay Guy Gay, Guy Who Stepped Out on Wife Stepped Out on Wife, American Idol Has a Couple Appealing Contestants
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Everyone in Los Angeles has been getting sick. It is this horrible bug which seems to repeatedly seem to improve and then relapse and tends to turn into pneumonia. It is bad enough that the touring group for this season of American Idol was largely decided on the basis of who could sing best through a sore throat. It seems like almost everyone I know has had this thing. I am no exception and yesterday was my first full day back at work, after like a month. For a workaholic like myself, no matter how much I’ve automated large portions of my business, being too sick to work a full day is pretty much torture.
Today, I have been reviewing what has gone on in the world for the past month. Apparently, the news is all OMG DOG BITES MAN. The “news” that Ricky Martin says he is gay was so blockbuster that it took down his webservers. Unless I get to personally watch Ricky Martin fuck, I’m more interested in the fact that Livin’ La Vida Loca and She Bangs are two of the best songs ever to shake an ass to.
I know I’m late to comment on the Tiger Woods absurdity and South Park has thoroughly and eloquently covered the topic with Sexual Healing, but seriously, that was news? News bulletin: Sometimes rich and powerful country club dudes marry the sorts of women who make good mothers and hostesses and still bang the occasional cocktail waitress or hooker or rebellious college student on the side. This has been the case like since the invention of rich and powerful dudes. The wife or queen or whatever would probably prefer not to have her face rubbed in it or be asked about it by reporters or have everyone know, but, if your partner is a wants-crazy-specific-sex-with-different-people-a-lot person, you just know.
Speaking of which, as a result of the Jesse James “news”, my cell phone messages voicemail got full last week and my email, texts, and various SNS and chat applications all blew up with folks wanting to get photos of girls who banged Jesse James and quotes from me on the topic. It is true that I have a database of probably thousands of tattooed girls willing to get naked and some of them would undoubtedly sleep with a reality show star (like Jesse James) or a paid dude (like Jesse James) or a hot guy with nice tattoos (like Jesse James). I’d like to say that none of the inked up hotties I know would sleep with a married guy, but ...
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