The love of my life.

[Azreal Lucifuge]

Thistle Harlequin's recent "have you stubbed..." thread reminded me of this...

So, a while back I had a thought. It was a fleeting thought, kinda like the **** theme that George Carlin (rest his soul) had in one of his stand ups and said "these are the things I think about when at home by myself and the power goes out."

It goes as follows:



Some day, living the life that I live, I may contract something that is very negative to my health. Perhaps, eventually, fatal. If this is what is meant to happen to me, then there is no way I can avoid it.

I like to think, "change fate, if you believe in it."

Either way, if something is going to happen to you or me, it is going to happen. to quote Raza, "Even doing everything you possibly can to avoid, say, infection with HIV you still run obscure and ridiculously improbable risks like being the second person to get stabbed by some lunatic in a crowd." So if it happens, I have to deal with it.

So I have this thought. It's kind of a downer, kind of an upper. Really depends how you look at life, and how you play the cards you are dealt.

I get *insert fatal, easily transmittable disease of choice* and I meet someone that I fall in love with. I fall in love with said person so much it burns my heart and soul at the same time. This person falls in love with me the same. We spend Everest sized amounts of time together. We never make love. Finally the day comes when said person is told, by me, that I have *said* disease. Said person is accepting of it. We spend countless more amounts of time together. We go to the fair and I win the giant panda for said person. We go to dinner and have lengthy, deep, philosophical talks together. Neither one of us can go more than a day without seeing the other, lest it burn our souls to the core. Finally, said person realizes they can't spend a day without my presence. My soul is lifted to almost Nirvana. Said person decides that the rest of their life is complete, but only if by my side.

I am complete.

We spend the rest of our very short lives together, both sharing whatever I brought to the table. We reach the next destination and decide to go back and start over, under whatever circumstance. We have found our soul mate.


****


What do any of you think about this?

Pipe dream?
Too many intoxicants? (I came up with this perfectly sober, just for the record)
Hopeless romantic?
*insert description of choice here*

[Bikerpunk]

You are most definitely female, for certain

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Isn't that the movie with Winona Ryder and Richard Gere?

[Azreal Lucifuge]

You are most definitely female, for certain

I'm actually a dude...but I take no offense.

Apparently I'm very effeminate.

[Azreal Lucifuge]

Isn't that the movie with Winona Ryder and Richard Gere?

Maybe, but I have no Idea.

Other than Beetle Juice, I try really really hard to avoid Winona Ryder movies.

I really can't stand her.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Yeah...She always has seemed to "uppity" for my tastes.

[Bikerpunk]

I'm actually a dude...but I take no offense.

Apparently I'm very effeminate.

I didn't say you had a vagina, but the whole notion of soul mates, doomed love, passion etc. is rather, well, there's a whole fucking industry pumping out books to scratch that itch.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

I don't think the notion of soulmates, passion, and all, is totally "feminine". At one time I had such feelings and this NEED to fulfill these emotional dreams. Then various women broke my heart into a millions pieces and I hardened right the fuck up. A good slap of reality REALLY can change your views on necessities involving the heart.

[Bikerpunk]

Amen, Ajax.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

And ahem to you BP...For evil knows not what it does...

Ahhh....Who am I kidding? I'm getting drunk and I just didn't have a smooth line to end this thread....Hahaha!

[Bikerpunk]

I swear, all my evil is unintentional.

[Morning Glory]

Isn't that the movie with Winona Ryder and Richard Gere?

Is that the one where the monkey gives everyone ebola?

oh wait, that's Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman.

What wouldn't I do for Winona Ryder? It's a short list, and putting on a chem-suit and scrubbing her down is not on it. But Richard Gere movies..yeah, it might be.

[incog]

Is that the one where the monkey gives everyone ebola?

oh wait, that's Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman.

What wouldn't I do for Winona Ryder? It's a short list, and putting on a chem-suit and scrubbing her down is not on it. But Richard Gere movies..yeah, it might be.

Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do.

[Thistle Harlequin]

Wow.. I thought you were going to post something in the other perspective too and make us choose.

This is a very strong post. I love it. It's a difficult decision, maybe, maybe not. If you're in love for reals, or not. I'm trying to put myself in those shoes. I'm trying to picture my boyfriend telling me he has HIV after you post. I don't know what I'd do until it actually happens. Honestly I dont think I'd care because we've been together for almost 6 years so unless he cheated on me, but if this was a first start relationship.. I dont know. Say for instance he cheated on me and got HIV from cheating on me...I'd be sooo pist...because of the cheating. I'd be grossed out about the HIV, but him and me have had a VERY good 6 year relationship. I dont know. If it was a new person, I'd probably drop them, but in my case with my boyfriend of six years............I'd probably keep him. Even though he cheated. Six years is a lot to just brush away. So there must be something missing in the relationship that's not happening to make him go out of the relationship. But shhh! dont let him know I'd prolly forgive him cuz I'm gunna kick him ass and break his jaw before he ever cheats on me!

[Thistle Harlequin]

I'm actually a dude...but I take no offense.

Apparently I'm very effeminate.

i read this..and i thought who was typing was a guy........i'm a submissive homo male (duh) but just wanted to point that out

[Azreal Lucifuge]

Hmmm...Like I said...just kind of a...nothing better to do, mind wandering kind of thought. Had my heart broken plenty of times. Some worse than others. Guys and girls alike doing the damage. I guess the part about 'soul mates' could have been left out, but I just watched 'What Dreams May Come' a few days ago. My original thought was more along the lines of finding someone (without sex as a factor, as regards body parts or intercourse) who shared the same feeling so much that they would be okay with the fact that a communicable, terminal illness was present. And THEN go into a sexual relationship.

I'm definitely a hopeless romantic. This is part of the reason I've been celibate for a year now. No diseases present, just...too picky for my own good?

Not too sure what I'm trying to get at...so...yeah. We'll leave it there.