Some funny jokes

[KernMilestone]

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.


Sorry if an old one - but very very funny.

[nathanmbailey]

What's the big deal? I'm hungry and sexy all the time.

[OliX]

Stop talking to a bot.

[Velvet-Tongue]

The bots have avatars now. They're learning.

[Rockwulf]

So a priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they see an 8 year old boy. The priest says, "Hey, let's go screw that little boy." and the rabbi says, "Out of what?"

[Lady Alias]

Hah, never heard that one before.

[nathanmbailey]

My point still stands.

A nun gets into a cab and as the cabbie is driving, he says to her, "Please don't take offense, Sister, but I've always wanted to kiss a nun." The nun replies, "Well then, I will give you a kiss, but there are three things I need to know from you first. One, are you Catholic?" The man says yes. "Are you married?" The man responds with no. "When was the last time you attended service?" To this the man responds with "Last Sunday." The man stops at the destination and looks at the nun. She moves forward and kisses the man on the lips. As the nun is about to get out of the cab, the man says, "Wait, Sister. I'm sorry, but I lied. I don't go to church, I'm married, and I'm Jewish." To which the nun replies, "It's okay, I lied too. My name is Joe and I'm heading to a costume party."

[Ajax Knucklebones]

My point still stands.

A nun gets into a cab and as the cabbie is driving, he says to her, "Please don't take offense, Sister, but I've always wanted to kiss a nun." The nun replies, "Well then, I will give you a kiss, but there are three things I need to know from you first. One, are you Catholic?" The man says yes. "Are you married?" The man responds with no. "When was the last time you attended service?" To this the man responds with "Last Sunday." The man stops at the destination and looks at the nun. She moves forward and kisses the man on the lips. As the nun is about to get out of the cab, the man says, "Wait, Sister. I'm sorry, but I lied. I don't go to church, I'm married, and I'm Jewish." To which the nun replies, "It's okay, I lied too. My name is Joe and I'm heading to a costume party."

It's a good one, but I heard it before.....NEXT.

[Rockwulf]

Knock Knock

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Who's there?

[Rockwulf]

September 11th

[Ajax Knucklebones]

September 11th who?

[VoltaireBlue]

all the jokes I know are way too inappropriate to post.

[Rockwulf]

September 11th who?

YOU SAID
YOU'D NEVER
FORGEEEEEEET!!!!

[Ajax Knucklebones]

I need a beer.

[VoltaireBlue]

me too.

[Dusk]

An english man, a scottich man and an irish man walk into a bar and they all order a pint, but when the drinks are given to them they all have a fly floating in the glass. The english ma, disgusted with the conditions walks out. The scot picks the fly out of the pint and starts drinking. The irishman picks up the fly ans says "come on yer bastard cough it up."

[soma_stardust]

So a priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they see an 8 year old boy. The priest says, "Hey, let's go screw that little boy." and the rabbi says, "Out of what?"

ok, that's pretty funny....

[soma_stardust]

i suck at jokes. i have no capacity to remember them... or tell them in a humorous fashion.
i'm relatively funny on-the-fly though. sometimes.
but i'm usually the only one who thinks so.
>.<

[Rockwulf]

i suck at jokes. i have no capacity to remember them... or tell them in a humorous fashion.
i'm relatively funny on-the-fly though. sometimes.
but i'm usually the only one who thinks so.
>.<

If you're the only one laughing, it means you're not funny.



At all.

[soma_stardust]

it means i know how to amuse myself ;P

[Ajax Knucklebones]

A black guy, a Jewish guy, and a redneck are digging ditches...
The Jew hits something hard with his shovel. Pulls it out of the ground and wipes off the dirt from this bottle-shaped item....
Just then a genie appears.
"I will grant all of you one wish", the genie bellows.
The black guy says, " O.K., I wish to have my black people own their own country where they all can live in harmony."
The genie bellows "Wish granted!"
The Jewish guy says, " Hmmm...I also wish to have a Jewish country where all my people can live in harmony."
The genie bellows, "Wish granted!".
The genie then looks upon the redneck and states, "And what wish can I grant for you?"
The redneck looks at the Genie and asks, " So there is now only one country for black people and only one country for Jewish people?"
The genie bellows, "Yes!"
The redneck says, " O.K., then fuck it! I'll take a diet coke!"

[nathanmbailey]

Frankenstein's Monster was waiting at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks at him and says "Part of you got into heaven and part of you didn't. How would you like to handle this?"