Friend who only take

[Deadly Envy]

Ever had a friend who just want to take and take from you and never give anything in return? If so what do you do about it?

I have TONS of experiences with this, so I'm always on guard because I am very careful about who I truly let in my circle. I hate people who try to take advantage of others with passion. So I often would lead them on until they need me the most then let them fall onto their face hard.

This just happened tonight.

A friend of mine who texted me to asked me if she can spend the night at my place because her parents kicked her out.
Before I tell you my respond to her, let me tell you what happened between us. At first, she was a wonderful friend. She (she have or use to have a boyfriend and I'm in a relationship so nothing is going on) always text me at night to talk with me. We often meet at coffee shop before class or something very often. She'd give me ride to school if I miss bus sometime. List goes on. Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend and was really sad about it, but I always take my time to listen to her drama and truly try to be sympathy of everything. She'd text me very often to talk about her personal problem, being a good friend, I ALWAYS listen.
Then she start to complain and get upset because it seems like every guys but me (KEEP THIS IN MIND!) was trying to get in her pants nonstop. She'd often talk about how she think guy love her only to find out they just want to be friend with benefit.
At around this time, she start to distant herself from me in awkward way. She'd often make plan only to cancel them last moment. She'd come up with stupid excuse then the next day she'd talk about how she went out with friend and do stupid shit with them. Not being the type to let other people affect me, I just tell her I'm glad she had fun and stuff.
Finally she end up with a guy for about two months. During this time, she begs me to take her pictures. I agree to. She'd make appointment and I'd waste bunches of time to rush home and turn my bedroom into a photo studio which is no easy task. Four time I set it up only to have her cancel it like 30 mins before the shooting time. FINALLY I told her that it was her last chance. So she showed up, but she brought her boyfriend. I was a bit taken back, not that it bother me. It is just this isnt my house and landlord isnt too fond of having a stranger in her house. Also I don't like it when someone else come into my room/studio and walk around. It's already very crowded without extra person in. But again I say nothing. I did some shooting. I asked her for the pictures in return which she promised.
I've not heard from her for about a month and all texts I sent to her was ignored. I finally let it go. A couple days ago she texted me out of blue wanting to talk about personal problem. Again... I suck it up and talk with her. Finally I asked for pictures. She stopped replied.
Today she texted me asking me if she can stay at my place for a couple nights since her parents kicked her out.

My respond was "Well... you talked about all those guys who you hanged out with. How about you spending a couple nights with them? I'm sure they'd enjoy your company more"

If she didn't tried to take advantage of me then I could have easily helped her find a place to spend the night at where she can worry more about getting on her feet instead of how to get out of sleeping with guy/guys who she doesn't want to and still manage to have a roof over her head.

Sorry if this is a rant, but I try to make it as fun to read as possible. But if you have done anything to someone who tried to take advantage of you, please share. It's always nice to hear about leecher getting what they deserve.

[malcolm]

that sux man. we had a similar situation with someone we kinda knew back in m-town when i was still on speaking terms with my step borther and my father's side fo the family. we let her and her friend stay overnight and it turned into a week cus she was slipping it to my brother and then one day we came home and they had split for a bit but i found a fuckin used crack pipe on my bed so i told my brother they had to go

ofcourse dumass didnt listen to me and he ended up getting robbed by her and shit..

[Aza]

What do I do about it? I get rid of the friend.

I've ditched three different "users" over the course of the last three years and sent them packing; "friends" who were either using me for money, to boost their self-esteem, or to get close to someone else I was hanging out with. I don't feel bad in the least about my new trend of kicking to the curb one friend per year; they bring it upon themselves when they use me, and I don't consider any of them a great loss. My true friends are the ones who know my true value, and I value them just as they do me... for the things that make us truly valuable.

[keiko]

I can't begin to tell you how many people I've given the "Rain Check" to for using me to get at other people, as a source of free food/money/toys (bicycles, play stations, chemistry sets). Eventually we make plans to be somewhere together, these friends and I, they flake so I cancel my plans and go where I know this person is, walk right up to them and thank them for the "Rain Check" they gave me on our plans, they usually look really ashamed of them selves, and we never speak again. It's happened about 6 times.

~K

[Deadly Envy]

Aza, I like your idea! I have always been the type who like to keep my circle as small as possible. I guess I should start to get rid of one every year as well.

Personally I usually like to lead fake friends on until I need them then I can just use them for whatever I need. Or I'd make them totally dependent on me in a way then wait for moment they need me the most only to turn my back on them.

I do this because I believe that they need to learn to not take advantage of others and by doing this, I hope they'd be more caution about doing it to someone else in the future.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

I would cut them off quicker than you could say "Dude, you are one selfish mutha' fuckin' mooch."

Mooches...The world's full of them and they use the shit out of people because for the most part people are caring. The quicker the world tells them to fuck off, the quicker their "kind" will become extinct.

[OliX]

Nowadays I carefully chose who I talk to, not just just careful about who I make friends with. By talk I mean real "me-talk", not just a smile number 6 and subconsciously put fuck-off's.

Before I didn't care. No, it was more like I didn't know because I was emotionally stupid. Later on I noticed but I didn't cared. I was practically "buying" a way bigger circle of friends that I didn't needed at all. My moto was always be good with everyone. As time passes I have less patience for bullshit.

In some cases I turned the tables around playing on persons moral card. This is case of one of my friends I'm still hanging out. Now we hang out with really little interest involved in between us. Worst thing I did to users is to wait for a situation where they plan to use me and confront them nice and diplomatically in front of other friends we have in common. Kinda "no hard feeling but this is how it is stuff" so that they can't backstab me without everyone else knowing their agenda.

Deadly Envy, maybe the girl in question didn't realized what she was doing, maybe she's surface thinking person not able to see the bigger picture. If I valued her at least a little bit then I would ask her openly something like "Do you do this on purpose?", and then explain situation viewed from your eyes. If she is your friend she would try to make it up to you, otherwise you know what to do..... just stay on friendly "Hi" and that's all. Think again...