Favorite Quotes?

[BrightStar]

By you or by other people, what are some funny or cool quotes that you liked, or found funny at the time?

"The cow isnt anywhere, the cow is in my mind"- The Sproutling in Domina

"Hatred can be fun,if used properly"- BrightStar

"Whoop De Fucking Doo"- Sengokou- Cyber City Oedo 808

May the Fleas of 1000 ReignDeer nest in your Genitals- Barbarian Housewives curse used by Wulfgar as a taunt at some Verbeeg- The Crystal Shard

"You sound as intelligent as the guy who uses big words like Gymnasium, while he is wrapping my fish"- Gene Simmons

"Did you ever get bitten by a Cock"- Some guy in a game store, in references to Cock/Rooster Fights

"Bite My Shiny Metal Ass" - Bender, Futurama

[BrightStar]

"I am an Excellent House Keeper...Every time I marry a man, I keep His House!"- Shza Shza Gabour(sp)

"I had a great time!...But this wasnt it."- Groucho Marks

[DyingSunshine]

Nature shows that with the growth of intelligence comes increased capacity for pain, and it is only with the highest degree of intelligence that suffering reaches its supreme point - Arthur Schopenhauer

Oops.. That's not funny..

[Szandora]

I don't know if this is my favorite... I have lots, but this one sticks out in my mind right now.

"Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his divine spiritual and intellectual development, has become the most vicious animal of all!"
=Anton Szandor LaVey=

[suicide doll]

Evil will forever reign over good, for the peccable, weak souls of today's youth are for more intelligent than any of us will ever be. - Milton Stewart

Christianity has done a great deal for love by making a sin of it. - Anatole France (1844-1924) French Writer. Le Jardin D'Epicure

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. - Anonymous

"People, some good, some bad, but in the long run we come out even." - Jan Hittlle

[vixta]

i don't drink water, fish fuck in it - WC fields

god is love, but get it in writing - Gypsy Rose Lee

erm shit. totally quoteless. i can't remember anymore. excuse me while i slink off in shame...

[DescendingAngel]

Cowards die many times before their deaths,The valiant never taste of death but once.~William Shakespeare

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.~A. Sachs

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that! ~Matt Frewer, as Dr. Mike Stratford in "Doctor, Doctor"

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to
line upquietly in a single file line from smallest to
tallest. Whatis the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" - Warren

[EvilNun]

Mine would have to be "Who peed in your Cheerios this morning???"

[gonesavage]

Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. ~ Howard Mumford Jones

One who doesn't step on anyone's toes obviously isn't going anywhere. ~ Unknown

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you just like everybody else, is to fight the hardest battle there is to fight and to never stop fighting. ~ e. e. cummings

The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it. If you can't top it, laugh at it. If you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved. ~ Joseph Russell Lynes

To break the rules is to break the spell. ~ C. Lasch

[Vaughn]

Not sure why but I've said it for years..."Don't get any on ya!"

[fashion]

Not n really fun one but... RR RIP.
He said in an TV interwiew between the 1st and second period as The President...

"We will NOT continue this politic that has been the last 4years IF I am elected as the next president.."

[Preach]

Sic vic pacem, para bellum (If you want peace, prepare for war)

Una salus victus nullam sperare salutem (The one hope of the doomed is to not hope for safety)

[Sin]

"Big deal, death comes with the territory......see you in Disneyland."
RICHARD RAMIREZ

"There is no happiness without tears, no life without death. Beware! I am going to make you cry."
LUCIAN STANIAK

[-=Asmodeus=-]

Life Sucks get a fuckin helmet. Dennis Leary

Beat Me, Spank Me, Make Me Write Bad Checks. -=Asmodeus=-

Children are our future....But not if we stop them now. Homer Simpson

When In Doubt....Fuck. Al Pachino (Scent Of A Woman)

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me. R. Geis

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love. Woody Allen

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. Woody Allen

Sex is like Pizza..When its Good its Great...When its Bad....Its still pretty good. Unknown

Bi-Sexuals are just stingy Unknown

[-=Asmodeus=-]

Of all the things I miss I miss my mind the most. Jimmy Hendrix

[Damniel]

If Mahoma can't go to the mountain, the mountain will go to Mahoma (meaning if u can't go let them come)

[vixta]

a variety of Bill Hicks:

non smokers, bunch of whining fucking maggots. i'd quit smoking if i didn't think i'd become one of you.

if you don't think drugs do anything positive for us, then do me a favour when you get home tonight. take all those albums which have changed your life and burn them. because you know those artists that recorded that music - real fuckin high on drugs. the beatles were so high they even let Ringo sing a couple of tunes.

go here - i can't do this fella justice

http://www.sacredcow.com/allnew/inde...p?n=multimedia

[koolagh]

Has anyone else ever noticed that there is only one Monopoly Commision in the US?

[Belladonna]

housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
phillis diller
a perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
not sure who said that but it's very true.

[Lady Giulianna]

You will find that the shame is much like the pain, you will only feel it once -- Glenn Close, Dangerous Liasons

[gonesavage]

You will find that the shame is much like the pain, you will only feel it once -- Glenn Close, Dangerous Liasons

I loved that movie.

[Tequila Zaire]

I loved that movie.

Same here...I liked Valmont a bit more though.

[vixta]

I loved that movie.

i need to ask you guys a question. why have i always read the books, but not seen the film. Dangeous liasons, the shining, dracula, it, one flew over the cuckoos nest, a clockwork orange, Jason and the argonauts, the birds, rececca, don't look now, carrie, all these films based on books and you want to know the ONE that i haven't read before seeing the film?

lord of the rings

wtf is wrong with me?

sorry - ranting.

[Vaughn]

Charles Bukowski on people: "I don't hate people, but I seem to feel better when they're not around."

[Lady Giulianna]

Thanks, it's one of my favorite movies. I love the costumes, the sex, the politics, ect. I like Valmont as well, but it seems to be a bit more tame then Dangerous Liasons.
By the way, if you haven't read the book yet -- please make sure that you do. It is much better than the stage or movie versions. It is just absolutely decadent. :-)

[gonesavage]

Thanks, it's one of my favorite movies. I love the costumes, the sex, the politics, ect. I like Valmont as well, but it seems to be a bit more tame then Dangerous Liasons.
By the way, if you haven't read the book yet -- please make sure that you do. It is much better than the stage or movie versions. It is just absolutely decadent. :-)

I know what you mean about the costumes. And the sex. I will check out the book sometime this summer. And I will most definitely check out the movie too.

[Tequila Zaire]

Thanks, it's one of my favorite movies. I love the costumes, the sex, the politics, ect. I like Valmont as well, but it seems to be a bit more tame then Dangerous Liasons.
By the way, if you haven't read the book yet -- please make sure that you do. It is much better than the stage or movie versions. It is just absolutely decadent. :-)

Colin Firth was just so perfect in Valmont though...he had that natural vibe that I really enjoyed. He didn't look like he forced any line or scene. It is a much tamer version of the story but it's one of the most fun ones.

Hopefully Dangerous Liasons gets a good DVD version some day..the one out now is too old and simple.

I have the book sitting around here somewhere...never got around to reading it though.

[Metallica_Vamp]

"Nemo me impune lacessit." (No one attacks me without punishment)- Edgar Allan Poe, "The Cask of Amontillado"

"Sanity is for the unimaginative."- ME!

[BrightStar]

Quotes from The Tao:

"What is more useful of the cup; What is there, or what is not?"

"Petting Scorpions with a Gentle Hand Only Gets you a Sting"

"The Most difficult Act in the World is to Sit Still"

"Be more concerned with good actions than great ones"

"Friendship is tested when it is time to share the burden"

"Distant Thunder Tells of Present Danger"

"See Obstacles as they truly are, not as the appear to be"

A Woman asked a Wise man " My husband drinks too much"
The Wise man replied," Might as well tell that to a fish"

"The Mountains Never Learned To Step Aside"

An Emperor asked" How do I find enlightenment?"
The Wise man said," I do not know"
The Emperor said," But You Found it"
The Wise Man replied, " Does that mean I know how you will find it?"

A Student asked a teacher," What is truth?"
The Teacher Answered," No matter what I answer, it will be a lie."

"Every Moment has a lesson for you to learn. Learn to listen"

"Treat Everyone you meet as if they will die tommorow"

"Hearts are the Secret, the Lips the Lock, and the Tongues are the Keys"

"Even a Goblin is Beautiful at EightTeen."

"Choosing between Two Evils is still Choosing Evil"

"Those who Choose to Stand alone, Fall Alone"

"While you rest, your enemy Practices"

"You can never bake the same cake twice"

When asked of dreams, a Wise man replied," If only people put so much thought into what they see when they are awake"

"The only true test of courage is the last one."

"If you eat poison, dont forget to lick the dish"

"A gift is given for the purpose of recieving one"

"Suspect that all are liars, and that it will rain tommorow."

"Truth and peace never live under the same roof. When one moves in, the other leaves."

"A face is never uglier than when it asks for praise"

"Never trust a person on the merit of who the were, but on who they are"

"Friends do not hold onto the past, they hold onto each other"

"Nothing offends Anger more than Laughter"

"A courageous person has no need of weapons"

"One must bow to offer aid to a fallen man"

A man asked a Wise man," When you are gone, where will I find wisdom such as yours?"
The Wise man replied," In Rice Cakes"

"If you are Walking, Run. If you are Running, Run. Never Meander."

"Fear is afraid of laughter"

"The child wants to grow old fast, and the parents want to grow old slowly."

"The nail that sticks out is the one that gets pounded first"

"The Price of greatness is great, but we all reap the benefit."

"What is written is not what is, Only what is written"

"We only sympathize with pain when it is our own"

"Do not simply say anything that is true. Know it is true, or stay silent"

A man climbed a mountain and said," I came here to find the truth."
The Wise man said," Be glad you brought it with you."

"Kharma and Shadows follow us all"

"Dont trust somebody who doesnt know how to smile"

"If you only look for Oranges at the top of the tree, you will go hungry."

"What is Wisdom?" Said a Wise man
The other Wise man replied," What is not Wisdom?"

"For every single achievement, there are 100 people looking for Merit."

"Fear is the measuring stick of ignorance"

"Do not expect the crow to swim, merely because you tell him that he is a goldfish"

[memorydream]

Just a few, old and new. One who supposedly met Crowley, L. Ron Hubbard, jr. is here too. His father believed he was actual successor to him, being the next "Beast." And many of us know who belongs to L. Ron's little cult these days.

"We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us"
-Henry David Thoreau

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
- Oscar Wilde

"Whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only increased my desire to be free, and set me to thinking of plans to gain my freedom."
-Frederick Douglass

"'Gothic' is just a word recalling a multitude of sins."
-Vincent Price

"Go away, I'm playing in the mud."
-Chuang Tzu

"Scientology and all the other cults are one-dimensional, and we live in a three-dimensional world. Cults are as dangerous as drugs. They commit the highest crime: the **** of the soul."
-L. Ron Hubbard, Jr.

[keiko]

i have several so i'll keep it short.
With or without religion you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

Mors et vita in manibus lingue. (Life and death are in the power of the tongue.) - the Knights Templar

Once the game is played, the King and the Pawn go back in the same box.

Better to light a candle than to curse the dark.

The three hardest things are Steele, Diamond and To know one's self. - B. Franklin

A journey of a thousand miles begines with a cash advance.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely cerimonial.

I went soul searching today. I was hungry.

and just because it sticks in my head:
The greatest trick Satan ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

K

[memorydream]

Oh, just one more--->
(it's kind of a story too)
One night, probably in 1880, John Swinton, then the preeminent New York journalist, was the guest of honour at a banquet given him by the leaders of his craft. Someone who knew neither the press nor Swinton offered a toast to the independent press. Swinton outraged his colleagues by replying:
"There is no such thing, at this date of the world's history, in America, as an independent press. You know it and I know it.
There is not one of you who dares to write your honest opinions, and if you did, you know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinion out of the paper I am connected with. Others of you are paid similar salaries for similar things, and any of you who would be so foolish as to write honest opinions would be out on the streets looking for another job. If I allowed my honest opinions to appear in one issue of my paper, before twenty-four hours my occupation would be gone.
"The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country and his race for his daily bread.
You know it and I know it, and what folly is this toasting an independent press?
We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are the jumping jacks, they pull the strings and we dance. Our talents, our possibilities and our lives are all the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes."

[Absinth_minded]

"Feeling 'connected' with carbon-based dolts holds all the joy of being handcuffed to a dead zebra - it sounds special, but it gets old fast."
- Scott Adams
"Most people wouldnt know the difference between a logical argument and a porcupine strapped to their forehead." - Scott Adams

"We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years, and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation." -George Bernard Shaw

[mollycase]

"No matter where you go, there you are." --Buckaroo Banzai
"I'll be back." --Terminator

[Amelia G]

I want to shoot you so bad, my dick's hard.

[memorydream]

"We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years, and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation." -George Bernard Shaw

Good one.

[macabrette]

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

[Amelia G]

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

What a great quote! Especially considering the source.

PS The quote I listed above was from Ice Ice Motherfuckin T in Juice

[macabrette]

"A little poison now and then: that maketh pleasant dreams. And much poison at last for a pleasant death."
and.....
"Ready must thou be to burn thyself in thine own flame; how couldst thou become new if thou have not first become ashes!"
~~Friedrich Nietzsche

[BrightStar]

"Never Fear, For DICK is Here!"- Dick Saucer.