The best way to kill someone....

[sunkarma]

Ok, Just for shits and giggles, what do you guys think the best way to kill someone and not get caught is...and feel free to mention who you would like to do it to if you like -yet in vagueness (no full names,just initials and *'s). And NO pussy answers like I don't believe in violence, I'm not saying you would actually do it, but EVERYONE has thought of it, lets hear your methods of choice...and show some creativity here.

Yes, this thread is morbid, crazy even, but I'm working on a story and I need something creative. My main character is a bit odd...so lets have at it.

[Morning Glory]

the best way to kill someone and not get caught is to kill someone at random that has no meaning to you. the closer you are to the victim the higher priority you are as a suspect. since most people are not insane they won't just kill someone for the hell of it, and seriel killers have something that they want to fullfill by thier crimes so they will choose thier victims purposely to match that. since the average crime of pasion and good old fashion premediated homicide is for a reason that means the killer has some connection to the victim. that's why most people don't get away with it.

[sunkarma]

I watched "E's: The faces of serial killers" yesterday to try to get some inspiration, but I didn't get anything except for things that had already been done. So the only thing to do is random...and then if you do random, psychologically there is still a pattern..like, if the victim has blonde hair, or wears red lipstick, etc...there always will be a 'link' that psychologists can find that draw you to that victim. So in reality, there is no randomness when it comes to killing. Some serial killers 'move' and that is why they are hard to find. Some drive for hours to different states, kill, and drive back 'home'. This makes them harder to find in the long run, because you have a 'traveller' (as criminal profilers call it) who is willing to satisfy their saiety for killing by travelling great distances and using randomness in that manner (I mean, by picking a place, state, etc) to kill. But then again, usually their methods are the same (hence: SERIAL). My character has been written about twice thus far in her escapades. Once was alone, the second was with her girlfriend as a method of vengance (she is lesbian). But this time it has to be unique. Gosh, this is a sick topic, but deep down, I know people have thought about it...so perhaps it is good to get it out. I would love to harken back to the age old Victorian method of poisoning..but arsenic and all that are rather boring now..so it has to be jazzed up a bit. a poisoned X pill, maybe???? Agony and ectascy at the same time?

[Morning Glory]

yes my plan is to lure him unsuspecting to the guilitine musuem.. and then shoot him. ha wasn't that from the simpsons?

[ladybug]

well not that I would ever think of this......(yeah right) but we have a window makeing plant here and I've had the privilage of being around there ..(hubby use to work there) They have a special vat there that they use to dissilove metal; paint; ect... it's highly acidic. this stuff is so potent that if you were to put a body in it it would dissilove it with in 5 hrs.( not that I asked or anything) it would get rid of fillings; metal pins(broken arm leg ect) pace makers jewerly ofcourse all clothing. So that's my pick. But again I would never think of anything like that

[ladybug]

of course I wouldn't do it more than twice....I'm not sure if it would change the chemical compound of the acid. And then that's probably where you'd get caught.

[sunkarma]

I've actually read of acid being used, but in a bathtub, and where the character was actually dismembered so the acid would work better. But that..that is an excellent idea. Mind if I use it?
Sure, it would change the chemical makeup of the acid if a body dissolved in it, but who checks? Even if they do, it would be only probably once a month or something when they run their checks,right?

[KilLAtomiK]

poison

[morbid_lady]

i would slip arsenic and few other poisons into some elderberry wine and then get my nephew who thinks hes teddy roosevelt to bury the body in the panama canal thats in my basement.........

[ladybug]

sunkarma use it all ya want.....

[One Eyed Cat]

Have someone else do it preferably a russian

OEC

[guinea_worm]

with a big hammer in the head, then i would prettend it was a suicide

[Vitorro]

camping in the mountians, near a big steep cliff.... oops, that first steps a doozey

[ForrestBlack]

Drop a safe on their head.

[cheinara wraithwalker]

Easy. If you both drink coffee in the mornings, and you happen to live with them, put a little bit of arsenic in both of your cups every morning for about two weeks. After that time is up, give them a lethal dosage.


...when the cops scan you, you'll turn up with arsenic too, so it'll look like you didn't do it. :O

[Buster Friendly]

...do it an get away with it?

...do it an enjoy it?

...I heard a Forensics Expert say that the hardest types of murders to solve were handguns that had never been used before in the commision of a crime, from 8-10 ft away, out of doors (inside traps alot of evidence, particles, hairs, fibers, etc.) with no witnessess... statistically these kinds of murders remain unsolved the most...

...oddly enough I just watched the original "Death Wish" where, except for continuing to use the same gun this was pretty much the whole idea...

Now personally I dig some serious "Jet Li-Fu". Beat 'em to death balletically... lots of jumping around, bursting of internal organs, crushing of bones, ripping of tendons... Yojimbo-Fu's pretty cool too... but that's for groups...

there's always Fu Manchu-Fu AKA the diabolical evil genius option... elborate death traps, with wacky angles (poison mushroom spores, blow guns, bolos, snakes, aligators, wild boars, sharpened stakes, wire garrotes, bands of thugee... you know whatever happens to be laying around at the time...)

or engineering their own downfall... analyzing their weaknesses, and providing them ample oppertunity to fall prey to their own vices... skewing probablity against them... the 'wrong place, the right time' once too many times... there was a whole novel like this, although I've forgotten almost everything else about it, about a hitman who worked like this, he'd do things like leave skateboards on stairways, put dirty dishes away with out washing them, loosen step ladders, until eventually something would get the victim, and it would look like an accident...

...and then there's hypnotic mind control, and ELF devices... but you'll forget that I mentioned those fnord...

be seeing you

[vixta]

drown them in a vat of whisky. then even if you do get spotted, you can always say you were trying to pull them out but they fought you off. plus you can always subsitute your victims favourite thing, chocolate , for example, or kittens, for the whisky, and at least they'd die relatively happy.

[Morgan Hell 666]

Pick up at random. Just slice their throat when they are sleeping, or stab straight into the chest cavity and up. Then skin them in the bathtub, and flush the flesh a little at a time so it doesn't get stuck. Wash the bones clean, break into smaller pieces, and then wrap them up in newspaper. Over a period 2 -3 weeks, get rid of the bones in the trash. Wrap up the stained sheets into a small bag, and then dispose of them as well. Print out some pages of auctioned skulls from ebay if you decide to keep it as a trophy.

[-=Asmodeus=-]

Wait till around fall when the leaves are begining to fall then use a blow gun to tranqulize them....Strip them naked tie them up with Duct Tape....

Take them to a secluded area place them in a fifty gallon Drum (One that the top is sealed with a Nut and bolt and not just a strap system.....Hopefully you have already dug the hole...Place barrel into hole cover toss loose leaf litter and other forest items on the area ....Go home Burn the clothes that you were wearing making sure to get rid of the ashes...

ITEMS NEEDED....Hair net, Rubber gloves, Duct Tape, Clothing purchased at a dig store or yard sale that you dont give a damn about. Shoes that are NOT your size preferebly larger (Purchased from different dig store or yard sale) 50 gallon drum stolen from somewhere out of your area, Secluded area AWAY from where you live... somewhere to burn items that wont raise attention, A back pack purchsed from dig store/yard sale, Somthing heavy to put in the back pack to throw off your weight if you were to leave footprints...

Also a rent a car using only cash and fake ID to rent....
I watch CSI WAAAY too damn much...

[KilLAtomiK]

Easy. If you both drink coffee in the mornings, and you happen to live with them, put a little bit of arsenic in both of your cups every morning for about two weeks. After that time is up, give them a lethal dosage.


...when the cops scan you, you'll turn up with arsenic too, so it'll look like you didn't do it. :O

i get the impresion youve done this before

[Vitorro]

take em to a water park, and lead them to the deep end of the wave pool, when the waves start, pull them under and it looks like they are pulliing you under when you are "saving" them. works best if they arent good swimmers.

[Bondage Clown]

Granted there would have to be some prep work (you would need to know where the video camera's on the free-way would be).. but here goes...
1. slip someone them a ruffie.
2. Get them to put on the black overalls, and black make-up.
3. put them in your passenger seat, and drive them around till the drug kicks in.
4. drive 90 down the free-way of your choice (and research) at about 3 a.m.
5. When you get a spot (between the camera's) that there is not that much traffic, get the far left lane, and toss them out...
6. Drive off... hopefully, the fact that it is in the wee-hours someone will drive in to them. causing them to deal with the (oh no) "emotional stress" and maybe also depleting the earth of stupid people.

[Umbilical Lotus]

Killing lasts for only a few moments. The time of actual death is nothing. A body was there before and a body is there still, only in the latter case you have some work to do.

The trick is making remains not look like remains. If you manage that, then you can hide a person's body in plain sight and no one will discover it until it's bones and you're dead. It will require dismemberment - after all, this is about disguising a body, and a body is essentially a person, so you don't want it to look human - but if you have the mind and motive to kill, you should have the fortutide to withstand a little intestinal adventuring.

Does your city have a communal compost program? Usually there will be some sort of eco-happy compost dump where you can take 'wet' bits from your garbage, things that are biodegradeable and could be used as something other than landfill, and provide space to mulch it. You'll be using this. Set aside a seperate garbage bin and start 'using' the program - put banana peels, coffee grounds, usual wet garbage in there. And leftovers. Because soon your corpse will be 'leftovers'.

What is a body? MEAT. Meat and bone. Dismember the corpse into six or seven pieces for ease of use and strip the meat from the bone. You might want to set a tarp down first. Get two piles, bones and meat. Save the bones - I'll deal with them later. Cook the meat. Yes, that's right. Grind it like ground beef and cook it. Don't EAT it - there's things like kidneys and livers in there, foul depositories of chemicals that you probably don't need - but make it look EDIBLE. Mix it in with some spaghetti sauce, noodles, or make a meatloaf out of it. Then put in in the compost thing as 'leftovers', and take it to the compost heap. It will LOOK like leftover spaghetti/noodles/meatloaf, and no one will pay it any mind.

If you have blood everywhere, WAIT FOR IT TO DRY. Don't bother disposing of blood when it's wet; it'll just get everywhere and it's a bastard to get out. Water evaporates, and wet things dry. Peeling a bloody crust off your tarp is a much easier job than finding someplace to dump the blood that no one will see.

As for the bones: have a belt/circle sander handy? Good. You're reducing those bones to sawdust. Again: disfigure the body until it doesn't look like what it is. White bone-powder is easily mixed into other things and can be hidden. Things like soil, or toilet water, or sand. So hide the bone-dust by mixing it among other things. Not in such high quantities that you can SEE the white powder there, but enough to get rid of it.

If the person you've killed is missed, people will be looking for a corpse. They won't be looking for leftover meatloaf and a sandbox. Thus, you'll be clear and free.

[cheinara wraithwalker]

i get the impresion youve done this before

Shhh.

[killerkat]

well....

"best" can mean many different things...Fun,clean,dirty,cannibal shit....anything you determine...


have yoru fun slaughterin' the person...

chop that shit up...


acid bath(but not your commercial kind,special blend"....

dump that shit ,spead it over a feild like water sprinkler if you gotta,dump it in the river it's just gonna be a weird ass fluid washin' down to anybody that would see it.


but in all honestly,theirs so many ways to kill someone and be "clean" about it,their is no right or wrong,with the Brain power you can do any damn thing you want.

[sunkarma]

Geez...you guys are BRILLIANT! Thank you. I'm devising new ways already from your suggestions and outlines.

[Rockwulf]

drown them in a vat of whisky. then even if you do get spotted, you can always say you were trying to pull them out but they fought you off. plus you can always subsitute your victims favourite thing, chocolate , for example, or kittens, for the whisky, and at least they'd die relatively happy.

Where does one find a vat of kittens?

[Rockwulf]

Is the question about killing anyone, or someone in particular?

Because I've often thought about going out at night and kicking the shit out of one particular homeless guy who pisses me off at work.... It'd pretty much be the perfect crime, just beating him to death.

[Evilbink]

"Come on rover boy..let's go hunting. Why don't you run up ahead a scare something out" BANG..oops

[court_enay]

You could probably go to your local Vietamese restaraunt and find a vat of kittens.

My perfect murder would to be to go in the person's house wearing a bio-hazard suit, tie them up with a toilet paper rope(i know u guys know what I'm talking about, where you take t.p. and keep twisting it until you can't break it), drag them out to an airboat bound for the everglades, wait till sunrise when the gators come out, and throw the mofo to them. Number one, no hair particles will fall off of you into their home if you wear a biohazard suit, number two, the rope will dissolve into nothing, no evidence, and the gators will eat the bitch...that is if it's a big gator.. or maybe one of those rogue pythons will get them. None the less, if you go out far enough, there's no way of them getting back.

[Amelia G]

I never got the point of random killing or serial killer tomfoolery. I mean, I've read Thomas Harris and A.J. Holt and such because they write well, but I eventually wearied of such fare. The whole pointless murder trip always struck me as something that would not be entertaining in any way to anyone but the hugest pussy. Like anyone who had even the balls to request their coffee the way they like it would be too strong a person to enjoy that power trip. No offense to any budding whatevers

[sunkarma]

Pointless murder to Serial killers is a power trip...so they are a bunch of pussies per se...but this was to get my brain and creative juices flowing for a story of mine. It has worked immensely..and also given us an inside look at some of the interesting people on this board.

[Pull~My~Hair]

Granted there would have to be some prep work (you would need to know where the video camera's on the free-way would be).. but here goes...
1. slip someone them a ruffie.
2. Get them to put on the black overalls, and black make-up.
3. put them in your passenger seat, and drive them around till the drug kicks in.
4. drive 90 down the free-way of your choice (and research) at about 3 a.m.
5. When you get a spot (between the camera's) that there is not that much traffic, get the far left lane, and toss them out...
6. Drive off... hopefully, the fact that it is in the wee-hours someone will drive in to them. causing them to deal with the (oh no) "emotional stress" and maybe also depleting the earth of stupid people.

but say they survived....then your in deep shit

[KilLAtomiK]

poison

i just realized i needed to elaborate on that, i was thinking if you placed a poisonous animal on the person while he or she slept like a rattle snake or some sort of spider, it would do the trick and it would realy look like an accident

[Rockwulf]

I never got the point of random killing or serial killer tomfoolery. I mean, I've read Thomas Harris and A.J. Holt and such because they write well, but I eventually wearied of such fare. The whole pointless murder trip always struck me as something that would not be entertaining in any way to anyone but the hugest pussy. Like anyone who had even the balls to request their coffee the way they like it would be too strong a person to enjoy that power trip. No offense to any budding whatevers

It's the fact that it's not allowed. In real life, you have to deal with the people that you can't stand. But if you were able to kill them without consequence in some fantasy world, you wouldn't have to deal with them ever again.

[Bondage Clown]

i just realized i needed to elaborate on that, i was thinking if you placed a poisonous animal on the person while he or she slept like a rattle snake or some sort of spider, it would do the trick and it would realy look like an accident

Yes, but make sure that the animal was indongenous (sp) to the area.. I am sorry.. the cops would look at the sitch-ee-ation a little funny, if you are in Kansas and the victim was killed by say the platypus..

[Rockwulf]

Yes, but make sure that the animal was indongenous (sp) to the area.. I am sorry.. the cops would look at the sitch-ee-ation a little funny, if you are in Kansas and the victim was killed by say the platypus..

You also have to make sure the animal will attack. Just because an animal is poisonous, doesn't mean it will attack unprovoked.

[KilLAtomiK]

You also have to make sure the animal will attack. Just because an animal is poisonous, doesn't mean it will attack unprovoked.

well obvioulsy the animal must be made to attack i didint think id need to explain that bit, i figured people woulde get it

[Rockwulf]

well obvioulsy the animal must be made to attack i didint think id need to explain that bit, i figured people woulde get it

But how would you do it? I mean, you'd have to piss off a rattlesnake/tarantula/whatever and then make sure it was pissed at the victim and not at you....


Not as easy as it sounds.

[Bondage Clown]

That would be easy... Ever play with a taser