The best way to kill someone....

[OliX]

However, I prefer a bit of torture and suffering if I hate someone enough to kill them. My ex fiance would be a good (and only) candidate for my evil fantasies, too bad itd trace back to me so easily.

specialy after this post

[keiko]

Very Quiet Shoes.

K

[Buster Friendly]

I'm all about the ninja hit squad...

...or the coven of werewolf attack lawyers...

[sunkarma]

Werewolf Attack Lawyers!

[heartless bitch1]

i have an ex gf who broke my heart and is laughing at the thought of us getting back together and shes fucking guys older then her and more then juss 1 guy i really wanna stop her from making a mockery of our relationship. i was suicidal for a month and a half and now its been 3 months and shes still doing this shit and now im in a position to kill her but part of me wants her back and a part of me wants her dead what do i do?

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Are you some kind of revenge bot?

[Dusk]

Yes, but make sure that the animal was indongenous (sp) to the area.. I am sorry.. the cops would look at the sitch-ee-ation a little funny, if you are in Kansas and the victim was killed by say the platypus..

OK. platypus, not so poisonous.
If you want to stab them make a shard of salt crystal, then dissolve it in a pool or something.
If youre going to choose option 2, shoot them, then use put the gun in a furnace and MELT IT DOWN, no tossing it into the bushes when any random can find it.
But if you want to go with the more brutal option 3, bludgeoning, then use something like a leg of lamb, then feed the murder weapon to a dog.
If you want to poison them with a spider its pretty easy to do. First shake the container its in to piss it off, then when its on the victem use something like a straw and wave it in front of the spider til it bites. If your gonna do that then use a large spider like the female Sydney Funnel Web Spider.
Other idea include poisoning them with with heavy metals, but choose something uncommon like gold powder, injecting them with air, or bacteria (fleash eating bacteria would destroy the area around the injection site so nobody could tell if was injected).
Have fun

[mystoo]

Cement shoes.

[TheDeathKnight]

The problem with doing things like shooting someone, or burning the body, or using acid, is that someone is going to see you or hear you doing these things. Either someone will see you buying the acid, or someone will see your car going out into the woods, or will hear a gunshot. Even if you are out in the middle of nowhere, there is always some crazy dude living in some shack out there. Or some neighbor will hear the sounds of you "working". I would agree that the "random" thing is a good way to avoid detection. But even if you drove to some other state, and shot some random person, there is still a chance someone will see your car, or hear the murder. I just think the whole thing is a lot harder than people think it is, and it's even harder if it's someone you know, or if you wanted to get more elaborate about it.

[jonny.illuminati]

... if you really need to know give me a call...

[Ajax Knucklebones]

So many ways to kill....So little time.

[Dusk]

I just remembered there was this guy who put poison (cyanide?) in some medicine or something for babies by dripping a cyanide solution around the seal and some woud leak in, the tainted bottles where screened by x-ray cos you can see cyanide on and x-ray. Can anyone clarify?
Anyway try poisening a random object in some quick way (needle hidden by hand?) but nly do it to a few items, and do it out of state.
It would be random cos the only link would be something like "eats apples"

[Raza]

Coolest way to get away with it would be to topple the world's governments first. From there on you've got loads of options... beheading is a well deserved classic, or crack their skull with a piece of chain to further the apocalypse-punk aesthetic of it all.

[renkiewicz23]

A large Icicle. No weapon.....no murderer.

[sunkarma]

The thing about this thread I love is...IT IS STILL LIVING! WHOO HOO!

Thanks for all the great ideas, guys and gals.

The icicle..hmm..great one.

[nathanmbailey]

Trap them and bore them to death until they can't take it anymore and they commit suicide. Foamy gives the best ideas.

[Rockwulf]

Ok, Just for shits and giggles, what do you guys think the best way to kill someone

Permanently

[Cafe_Post_Mortem]

Buy them a ticket to Australia, nature will handle the rest.

On a more serious note, the sad fact of it is the most romantic ways (sic) to kill someone are not the best ways to avoid getting caught. The more you interact with the body, the more evidence is tranfered between you in the body.

Most cities do not have the resources to look for trace blood DNA at a murder scene, witnesses are unreliable, people are apathetic.

If you are writing a killer who is a random type, the key is picking your victim. Most serial killers do not have as clearly a defined pattern as movies will lead you to believe. Victims usually fall in a range, but are mostly victims of opportunity. There are always exceptions, but look at the green river killer.

He admitted to 46 killings, that he could remember. He was suspected of 78. He killed prostitutes. There was not nearly the outcry that say Lacey Peterson got.

If your killer is killing someone they are tied to, a quick and dirty method and leaving the body where it lies is best. Then, don't act suspicious (ie telling your mistress you are a widower before the murder, driving around with a lot of cash and guns.)

Personally though, the plans that are elaborate and end up failing are the best reads. I recommend the crime library for quick reads. If I can find my books I will try to throw some titles at you.





OK... I may have had some issues when I was younger. But i am much better now.

[inox]

Fuck em to death.

Naw, I know of a nice little substance that will kill within 24 hours if you make it at the right consistancy. All you have to do is get them to breathe it or snort it (for those who do drugs, looks exactly like coke). If snorted theyll drop dead in a day, if they simply breathe some of it in it could take a few days. Good thing about that is they will have gone on with their lives and you never know where or when theyll drop dead. Cant be traced back to you. Hell they could be walking across the street from shopping that day and just drop. Plus it doesnt show up in the blood or body tissue, so itd look like a natural cause of death. Noone will ever figure out why they died at such a young and tender age, you are the only one who really knows;] This stuff shouldnt be made by the dense or sloppy though. Itd suck to breathe in your own substance and kill yourself cause youre stupid;]

Hmmm...what could it be? Aflatoxin is a good candidate, but you do see liver & kidney damage. Ricin...well, you don't just drop dead. Coyotoxin fits most of what you said, but it's yellow. I'm going to go with Fentanyl, even though it's generally quick as hell.

Also: deathfucking plan ftw.

[mastertinez]

First, track your victims movements. Wait until they are alone and preferably heading home. But you're going to make sure they never get home. You will need a pen knife -preferably long bladed-, a waterproof jacket with a large hood, gloves that can be easily destroyed, Your own car, a meat cleaver, a kit bag and a heavy duty industrial syringe.

The best time of day is late at night. Approach your victim as they turn around a corner and stab the penknife into the left temple. The left temple leads to the left frontal lobe of the brain which controls language. If they do manage to speak, it will be a drunken slur. The bleed in the brain will kill them in around a minute. Because of the blood/brain barrier, very little blood is lost and clean up isn't necessary.
Wearing the water-proof jacket means that evidence can be easily washed off and the gloves mean that your finger prints will not be placed on the body.

The next stage is disposal. The body will immediately begin to decompose after death and the stench is a dead give-away. It's important to drain the body of blood to slow decomposition. In the thigh there is an artery called the femoral artery located close to the flesh on the inner-side of the thigh. Take a syringe and insert into the artery and begin to drain the blood. Theres around 5 litres so you'll need milk bottles. Once the body is completely drained you can begin dissection. Using a meat cleaver remove the limbs at the joints and place inside multiple black bin liners.

Place the bin liners in your car and drive home. Dump the body parts in your dustbin then take a shower and wait until early next morning at around 3am. For the next stage of disposal you will need a spade, your car, plenty of maggots, your victims blood and of course, your victim!
Drive to out into the woods and find a nice spot with plenty of bugs and growing vegetation. dig a deep whole for each of the body parts and the blood. Place the body parts into the ground and pour a decent amount of maggots onto each part. Maggots will only eat dead flesh though and will not go for the bone but unless someone has followed you through every step then theres no worry. Pour the blood into a hole and fill each hole with earth.

Congratulations. You have disposed of the body! Now go home, destroy the gloves, penknife and waterproof and contemplate what a sick horrible fucker you are.

[Morning Glory]

The best way to kill people and get away with it without being punished is to join the Military. They'll even pay you and give you money for college and health care.

The only drawback is that you'll have to kill people for no good reason. Maybe you'll get lucky and really hate one of the other guys in your unit and get to shoot him. That happens a lot, but it will most as likely be some other army guy that you didn't have much of a problem with.

[Morning Glory]

On the other hand, if you love what you do shouldn't you be willing to do it for free?

Here's a couple Proud Servicemen that would look just great on a billboard proclaiming: "Be all you can be!"

Lee Harvey Oswald

James Earl Ray

David Berkowitz

Jeffery Dahmer

Timothy Mcveigh

Dennis Rader

[sunkarma]

Good one

[BiggTruxx]

Tell them if they really love you, they'll give meth a try, just for shits and giggles.

[Bikerpunk]

Tell Rockwulf the dude insulted his mom.

j/k

*waves at Rockwulf* missed ya, ya macho dude.

[Buster Friendly]

Tell Rockwulf the dude insulted his mom.

j.

Yeah, because then Rockwulf would run and go tell his mommy, and then his mom would tear the guy's arm out of it's socket.

No the best way to kill someone is with kindness.

Ever seen someone die from kindness? Ugly ugly way to go.

[vulfgrl]

If they are a smoker, extract the nicotine from a few cigarettes and put it in their food/drink.
My friend is a diabetic and he said the insulin he uses is quickly absorbed into the system.
I had one friend suggest the best way would be down the street with a sniper rifle.
I have instructions on how to make a pen into a single shot gun. Simple to dispose of, no evidence.
If you can get ahold of some Scopolamine (they use it to euthanize dogs in Ukraine - otherwise the sale is tracked), the only reason a doctor was caught when he poisoned his wife with it is because he had her embalmed immediately, otherwise, if he hadn't insisted, it would have been gone from her system.
Kill them in a remote spot, then bury their body in a cemetery.
Inject them with heroin. Leave needle with their prints, remove all traces of self.
Don't know them directly, but hating from afar? Want to get more complicated? Know how you get all those samples in your mail? Create one with a chocolate covered cherry. With syringe, remove some of the sweet filling, replacing it with poison of choice. Mail to victim. What boggled me is how to get the box mailed from a different state. You would have to have an accomplice for this one.
Make seedy friends. Recommend victim for next snuff film.

[vulfgrl]

Hmmm...what could it be? Aflatoxin is a good candidate, but you do see liver & kidney damage. Ricin...well, you don't just drop dead. Coyotoxin fits most of what you said, but it's yellow. I'm going to go with Fentanyl, even though it's generally quick as hell.

Also: deathfucking plan ftw.

Actually, I just read about this:
A new study claims that a high percentage of street cocaine is laced with levamisole, a veterinary drug used to deworm animals. It’s not just odd, it can be deadly, literally eating the flesh of those who use it. The alarming claim comes from the Drug Enforcement Administration, which recently reported that 82 percent of the cocaine it seizes has been cut with the veterinary drug, a substance that doctors say can rot away the skin on users' noses, cheeks and ears.

[vulfgrl]

So many ways to kill....So little time.

So true. I could so outdo those Saw movies. Hell, Sade outdid those Saw movies.

What about sewing someone into a fresh animal hide...What happens when leather dries?

Or, for pure psychotic thrills:
while they are under sedation, amputate their limbs and replace them with the limbs of a dog (or other animal). Keep them alive as long as possible. See if their mind goes before everything begins to rot.

[Bluez666]

If you're looking for a painful way to kill your victim. I've got an idea
Strip them of their clothes leaving them in only shorts or underwear,tie them to chair both legs and hands so they don't run away. get a hunting knife and make large but not life threatening cuts all over their body. Then get two to three bottles of rubbing alcohol and bath them in it. Sit back and watch them twist in agony as the alcohol burns theirs cuts. After you get bored of watching them pour gasoline on them and set them on fire. If the victim is still alive it won't just be extremely painful but it will also help when trying to get rid of the body. Hope you enjoyed this is only for entertainment purposes.

[Koldkiller]

I literally just made an account to post here, so give me some feedback on my methods of pure senile murder:

1. Bloody grass - Throw him in a wood chipper, spread the guts and blood all over your backyard, and water it down until it fertilizes into grass
2. Bamboozled - Tie him to a chair, make sure it's firm. Plant bamboo underneath him, then take care of your victim for months. Feed him and let him watch tv. Within a few weeks the bamboo will grow right through him to his inevitable slow death (tested on mythbusters)
3. Brutality - Good ol' crow bar
4. Pulvarization - using a taser leaves no evidence that forensics and pick up, except for a 'random heart attack'
5. Hypothermic suffocation - take your victim out to pond skate, leave him beneath a soft spot of ice to drown as he freezes to death.
6. Steam broiler - the fastest most efficient way to murder somebody without any trace of evidence is fire. Soak a rag in alcahol, then stuff half of it into a bottle of alcahol, leAvig one soaked half of the rag hanging out. Light that end, and throw the Molotov at your victim by surprise, or after you beat them. Once they are burnt to a buttery crisp, all the evidence would have been quashed.