A couple of weeks back an old associate I worked with (and partially for) ended up with a mild case of death. It wasn't anything natural or accidental mind you but any with good sense know not to go poking around for who did what and how. He's not the kind to be mourned and even less to be missed but I'll admit I was very surprised. Granted I was still under 21 when I was dealing him but I honestly thought only the hand of God could cut him down.
I really felt my mortality for like a week after hearing the news.
The other night I got a few calls from some having to deal with the fallout of this death. Not as suspects mind you but as men caught in the middle like in the age when a king fell and his princes and generals fought for control. All of a sudden everyone has ambitions and their fate becomes yours.
The most unsettling was a casual warning to keep my distance. I'm no longer a kid or naive to what what went on so that didn't really have to be said. I have zero interest in what happens with them and theirs. How it was said though and given who said it I knew what was meant. It's been a bit hard to sleep since that little talk (a bit why I've been so curt recently in my posts. I'm not excusing it but it is a cause.) I've been reassured not to think too much about it but it's a bit heavy on the mind none the less.
Any of you ever been in a situation where others hold your fate above you just out of reach? Or where they can have an impact on you so hard it'll cancel out anything you choose to do?
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