Parental Quotes

[Mirren]

What are some sayings your parents would use when you were growing up or even use now? I am laughing my ass off thinking of some of the things my Dad would say. I will post a picture of my folks when I get on my computer next week.

Dad: "You're gonna nickel and dime me to death!".
"Huhhhhhh" if you are Hispanic you may just get this.. it's not said like a question, lmao. More like "For fuck's sake!!!"
"Don't thought... you know what happened to the old lady who thought she was going to fart, she shit her pants".
"Whatever".
"Ask your Mom".

Mom: "Wait 'til your Dad get's home".
" Ask your Dad".
" What have I always told you?"

[Anarkey]

if i stop this fuckin car 1 more time ,,i swear ,im leave ya by the side of the road and you can walk home ,

oh go blow your sunshine up some one else's ass,
go peddle your crack some where else

thanks dad > no problem ,now get out and join the service or something

[Mirren]

if i stop this fuckin car 1 more time ,,i swear ,im leave ya by the side of the road and you can walk home ,

Was that after 100 ; "Are We there yet's?" LOL

[Anarkey]

and a > Hey that was a icecream shop !

ya if you want screams ,i can help ya with that too!

[Pull~My~Hair]

"if I wanted a bunch of lip your mom would've been black"

me="dad can I have a car, dog horse?"
dad="sure but you have to pull the trigger and file the insurance claim"

[keiko]

"do you think money grows on trees?"

"this is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you!" (that one always confused the hell outta me)

"stop it both of you. I'll turn this car right around and no one's going any where"

this one only really works for children of divorced parents
"keep up and i'll send you to live with your father!"

"i hope you have a daughter just like you!" (curse my grandma put on her and she has put on me *shudder*)

"we'll sit here all night if we have to but you will finish your vegetables!"

more when my brain kicks into gear
K

[Mr Karl]

my favorite dad quote:"ich dreh dein Genik um"

[Lady Alias]

"keep up and i'll send you to live with your father!"

K

Haha, I was terrified when my mother threatened to do that.

[keiko]

Haha, I was terrified when my mother threatened to do that.

me too. till one day i relised no one knew where he was. then it became an empty threat.

K

[LoraLie]

Mother:

"you look like a street walker"
"you're make up makes you look like a drug addict"
"you're looking really pudgy" usually followed by "we better not have another jeanie incident" (Jeanie = cousin who got pregnant in HS & dropped out)

& when she's on the phone . . . right after she says something she has a tendency to add . . . . "and all"

"we went ot the store . . . and all"
"we bought the cake . . . . and all" . . . . yep

Father:

"you look like you gonna run off to join the circus?"
"i aint done it"
"steer the cake"
"*belches* aint rude, just good food"
& then there are all the cheesy jokes . . . wh ich i still remember . . .

"why'd the man put his car in the oven? cause he wanted a hot rod"
"Why'd the man throw his clock out the window? he wanted to see time fly"
etc. etc.

[GnArKiLL]

man...the fuck is up with yalls parents?!?!?! lol

[LoraLie]

"this is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you!" (that one always confused the hell outta me)

still confuses the hell out fo me.

"we'll sit here all night if we have to but you will finish your vegetables!"

they'd say that . . . but eventually they actually force fed me. as in . . . held me down & . . . pried my mouth open . . & all that jazz.
stupid mashed potatoes

[keiko]

Mom- you are not going out looking like that!
Me- like what?
Mom- like satan's concubine! no go change!

a variation on that one

"you are not leaving hte house like that! waht would your fahter say?"

my all time fave, even if he only said it once-
Dad- do you have a joint?
- i was so stunned i jsut sat there for like 10 minutes and stared at him. I finally responded with "why?"

What the hell's wrong with our parent's you ask? Never thought there was anything wrong with 'em my self. Most of the people I hung out with growing up had it worse. I thought that everyone had the same kind of relationship with thier parental units before the age of 16. Didn't get along wth them at all till then and even now I get holes bitten in my tongue when I talk to her to make sure we continue getting along. A pretend relationship is better than none.

K

[Buster Friendly]

i'm not so sure about that...

...once my father was giving me shit for no damn reason over the phone. after years of this, and hinting that he was out of line, i told him to fuck off. he hung up the phone on me, sent me a letter a few weeks later saying he didn't have to talk to some one who was that immature, and we didn't speak for 6 mon. i was actually relieved, because from the time i was 5 until sometime in my mid twenties my main motivation in life was kicking his ass. finally he called me an apologized for being an ass, and admitted that he'd deserved it in the first place...

he's still a royal pain in the ass, but at least he knows not to push it too far now.

[HeadlessBill]

Not specific quotes per se, but my mom used to complain that I was getting fat, then she would complain that I didn't have second helpings at dinner.

Quotes from my dad, just listen to Red on 'That 70's Show' and then add an occasional comment from the drill sergeant from 'Full Metal Jacket'. I guess that's what happens when you have a dad who's a sergeant in the Army during the late seventies.

[Buster Friendly]

yeah, 'dumbass', or 'that was stupid' were common features of my father's conversations with me. unlike the characters on that 70's show i didn't take it though....which would lead to the inveitable 'they'll lock you away/send you to prison' 'they'll kill you' 'you'll get your ass kicked.'... (we established that beatings had little effect on me.) none of which has happened btw...

...mom "i'll be late picking you up from day care."

[keiko]

Mom -"you are not well/you're too thin/ eat something"

My (step)dad usually only says one word at a time but he can put so much expression in that one word "No" and "Really" are the two he uses most. My brother has the same ability.

K

[Buster Friendly]

oooh that's a skill i'd like.

'no talk and all action'

[Mirren]

Mom: "You can't go wrong!"
" You don't joke about things like THAT!!"
" Edgy?"

Dad: " Be very careful, I haven't had my sugar today".
" Changey Changey"... if he would send us to the store with a big bill, he'd say that when we were kids. Sometimes, he'd let us keep it, lol.
" You have a mouth like a fucking truck driver!"

[Nudemuse]

Ooh I love these:

Mom- "Honey your nipple is showing."

Mom- "How big ~are~ your boobs?"

Mom- "People actually wear rubber?"

Fatherly advice:
Dad- "Grab and twist." (That was my dating advice)
Dad- "What the hell did you do to your hair?"
Dad- *Blink* "Go change your clothes. Now."
Dad- "Turn off that goddamn light Nickelheaded ...mumblemumblegrumble"

Mom and Dad convo about what I was wearing-
Dad- "She is not going out of the house like that. You can see" *while he's gesturing at my chest*
Mom- "Honey she wears a turtleneck she's gonna show cleavage."

While shopping for a prom dress-
Mom- "Oh my GOD we are getting that one."
While she and I are in the dressing room. Dad pacing outside pretending not to be holding our purses.
Dad on seeing the dress- "Hell NO. We're going home."

~

[mmmcherry]

HAHA holy shit... that post... the whole thing... made me laugh right out loud nudemuse heheee... awesome.

man i gotta think up some funny shit that my parents say... most of it is just annoying to me :S like the lame jokes... omfg...

what did the mexican fireman name his twin boys?
hose A and hose B... (jose... you know... yeah i know i wanna stab my eyes out too im sorry)

[seeker]

"it's just a phase"
and when I went out with someone a few yrs older than myself he refered to her as "that old woman" or "the old woman"

[Bondage Clown]

To me (a young ladd) -- Atta girl

To me sis (young lass) -- Atta girl


Wo are you and what did you do with my son?

[Kahunaxi]

Dad:
(About DBZ*Drunk*) Have they beaten Cell yet?
Not Tonight Josephine!
Stop whining ya dickhead... oh wait... you're a girl... I can't call you that...
I like sleeping on the floor!
Goodnight Vienna!
High on the hill there's a lonely goat herd...
It's a pubic phone box!
Ya cheeky bugger!
Ya mother is the one who needs therapy!
RAUS!
Anna Cwoar-nikova!
Live Long and Prosper!
Aaaah... Flatscreen TV!


Mum:
Don't be stupid!
Come on Lurch!
Aren't you into all that Japanesey stuff?
Oh no! That's too violent! Mum doesn't buy violent things.
Ferry... 'Cross the Mersey...
Yeh cheeky arab.
Oh... me back...Oh... Me tooth...Oh... me feet...
What's wrong with them this time?
Stop whining, you're not a baby anymore! (See above for humor.)
(Referring to me) I never get a round of applause for food from anybody else.
We've hardly seen you all night!
You're not getting one of those bloody 360 things!
I don't like you having all these "War" games.

[LoraLie]

Oh i thought of another

Apon seeing a picture Sir Anthony Pants (nonamepunk) fro the first time

Mom: * a bit worried*"what race is he . . . .?"

oh how i love living in the souuuuth.

[keiko]

mom trying to show how not racist she is -
-I don't care if hte guy you bring hoe is green with purple spots, as long as he behaves him self and treats you right

-So... Rob is italian? (said the way one says manure)

You could almost see in her eyes she would rather he was green with purple spots. Part of me wishes just once I'd brought home a black guy to get the look on her face. (see LoraLie, you're not the only southerner here, I feel your pain)

K

[LoraLie]

I was already informed that I am not allowed to "bring home a N** . . . "(you can fill in the rest for I really dont want to)

Later on my mother told me she didnt care about his race but she worried about my grandfahter who lives next door (& honestly spys on everything we do) because
"he considers wetbacks lower than ni*****"

[mmmcherry]

what the hell :S

my mom seems to like calling people "bitch" lately. im gonna get her a shirt that says "bitch" haha... her and my cousin both. matching shirts they call each other bitch. its awesome