What are Your Funniest Pick Up Lines?

[Amelia G]

What are some of the funniest pick-up lines you have ever had actually work?

My two personal favorites are "Don't I know you from some place?" and "murmur murmur." The latter has to be said in a loud club, so the person doesn't know just how much you are not trying. Most people will not ask "what?" more than three times.

[MrGoff]

I like this one "didn't we go to diffrent schools togetter?"

[VoldtaEngler]

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.

Good news, the test results are negative!

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

[GnArKiLL]

I like

"Hey i seemed to have lost my phone number, can i have sex with you?"

it works 20% of the time, every time.

[Amelia G]

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.

Everyone likes puppies!

But does it work?

[ForrestBlack]

"Stop kicking me..." It does work, but I would rather it did not.

[Satiate]

Well, not to be like "oooh, look at my stuff"... but I created my t-shirt line phrases from pick-up lines and assorted bar comedy out with friends...

Like...

"That's nice... now take off your top..."
"Go on... get nekkid..."

If you are ultra bored, you can see the mock-ups here:

http://13blacksheep.com

[Jessica]

I actually said to a friend of mine that I had a huge crush on: "Don't you wish they'd teach us more about vikings?"

Which I stole from a book that my grandmother got me called "The smart girl's guide to boys." But she didn't think to buy me that book until I was 23. So it was at least 15 hilarious minutes of thumbing through the book to see what they were suggesting to what must have been intended for a high-school audience.

The line was in a little cartoon bubble under the heading "talk about interests" or something like that.

Futhermore, my friend responded with "Yeah, vikings are cool!".
And then a few months later, he came out of the closet to me.

[Amelia G]

Well, not to be like "oooh, look at my stuff"... but I created my t-shirt line phrases from pick-up lines and assorted bar comedy out with friends...

Like...

"That's nice... now take off your top..."
"Go on... get nekkid..."

If you are ultra bored, you can see the mock-ups here:

http://13blacksheep.com

"You can't go around throwing dynamite at a prostitute."

[Satiate]

"You can't go around throwing dynamite at a prostitute."

that is my most popular selling shirt... black shirts with copper ink...

hahahahahahahahahaha...

[grebo]

didnt work
"you dont sweat much for a fat chick"
"the only reason i'd kick you out of bed is to fuck you on the floor"
"do you like fruit?" "yes" "well then, wrap your gums around me plums"

worked
"so how about it?"

[Bondage Clown]

"Can I borrow your body till morning?"

[Raven0129]

I want to be your space invader.

[Black Spiral Dancer]

Funniest ones I've heard:

Q: Do you fancy a Fuck?
A: No thanks.
Q: Well, do you mond lying down while I have one?

Do you fancy going halfers on a bastard?

Don't know if they worked, never had the guts to try them, never needing to use chat up lines. I've always been asked out by girls. It did help having a big fluffy dog to attract them in the first place.

[HempKnight]

I used to take a friend of mine's little boy with
me to the mall, he'd pick out hotties and pretend
he was lost and say, "If my aunt had looked like you,
my uncle wouldn't be single." It worked every time
until he got interested in girls, then I didn't stand a chance.

Favourite bar pickup line was, "Have I had my cock in
your mouth or was it someone that looked like you?"
Usual response was, "No, I don't think so."
I'd say, "OH, you'd remember, trust me..."
If nothing else, it was usually good enough 90% of the
time for a trip to the loo, back room or parking lot.

[Nudemuse]

I used to take a friend of mine's little boy with
me to the mall, he'd pick out hotties and pretend
he was lost and say, "If my aunt had looked like you,
my uncle wouldn't be single." It worked every time
until he got interested in girls, then I didn't stand a chance.

Favourite bar pickup line was, "Have I had my cock in
your mouth or was it someone that looked like you?"
Usual response was, "No, I don't think so."
I'd say, "OH, you'd remember, trust me..."
If nothing else, it was usually good enough 90% of the
time for a trip to the loo, back room or parking lot.

You dirty fucker you stole my line.

[Amelia G]

I used to take a friend of mine's little boy with
me to the mall, he'd pick out hotties and pretend
he was lost and say, "If my aunt had looked like you,
my uncle wouldn't be single." It worked every time
until he got interested in girls, then I didn't stand a chance.

Favourite bar pickup line was, "Have I had my cock in
your mouth or was it someone that looked like you?"
Usual response was, "No, I don't think so."
I'd say, "OH, you'd remember, trust me..."
If nothing else, it was usually good enough 90% of the
time for a trip to the loo, back room or parking lot.

Awesome