Juno Causes Teen Pregnancy

[The Newswire]

Ivan Reitman directed Ghostbusters and Stripes and produced Heavy Metal, so I'd like to believe that his progeny would be on the side of all that is awesome. His son Jason Reitman adapted Christopher Buckley's Thank You for...

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[Bikerpunk]

FFS

What causes a baby is when a man and a woman get a little too drunk and get kind of tingly in the nether regions.

They start kissing, and her nipples become stiff and taut and her hoo hah engorges with blood and gets all tingly,. Likewise, his wibbledy wand gets all stiff, like, and throbby.

He takes his hands and puts them inside her shirt, and she's had alcohol, remember, so she's okay with this and starts to moan slightly. Field research (namely asking a random girl behind the bleachers in Grade 11) indicates that this "feels good" for a girl.

Now, a woman's body is like a Pringles can. Once you pop it, you can't stop. His hands find her hoo hah, which at this point (hopefully) is quite slick and damp with what medical science has come to call "moisture" or "wetness". This has a slightly acrid, pleasant taste, and it might occur to this man to put his mouth there, and proceed to slobber on her crotch like a bulldog attempting to drink out of a cistern. She might attempt to halt the proceedings here. Most do. But depending on how lucky he is and how much alcohol they've had, once his tongue finds a certain pleasurable spot no man is really quite sure where it is (cause you can see the organ in question, but she, who cannot see it, assures you it is somewhere else and directs your hand or tongue somewhere totally else) she'll let him do that for a while in the faint hope that while he's attacking her moistbits like a boxer trying to hit a speedbag he'll occasionally hit that spot again.

Then he decides he's "only going to put it between her labia, he promises". And she's so drunk at this point and feeling so good she actually agrees to this, but he "slips". And he's "just going to put in the tip, don't worry." Then he slips AGAIN, and before she, through the haze of Southern Comfort and a few Budweisers, realises DEAR GOD THERE IS A MAN INSIDE MY BODY WITHOUT A CONDOM SPASM SPASM SPASM SPURT SPURT SPURT.

Then follows what's called the "chain smoking and counting the days til the next period" phase. He also flips out and starts calling random friends saying "I'm an idiot, what am I going to do?" and they say "well, maybe nothing will happen."

But Jesus Christ has seen fit to create a miracle. That back-seat-of-a-Camaro fumbling has resulted in his tummy custard and her hoo hoo egg fusing together to make a fully formed human being with a soul the moment it is made.

So she pees on a stick. At first, back in the primeval days, this didn't accomplish much, as the stick didn't really know, being dead and a stick, how to respond to being peed on. So mankind invented a special stick that costs a lot of money and is very embarassing to buy if you don't want to be pregnant, or DO want to be pregnant and you're starting to think maybe Jesus Christ isn't coming to your house this lifetime, which when peed on changes colour, causing her to scream/squeal out what women have said for generations when they realise that no matter what denial of other symptoms - morning vomiting, breast tenderness, the desire to buy large amounts of toilet paper etc. - she's pregnant - namely, "oh, shit".

Nine months later, she hurts like a bitch and begs for drugs. She lies on a hospital gurney, shaved and shitting and pissing with each push, with an audience of dozens of people staring at a part of her she's been told her entire life to keep covered, while a doctor pulls a blue bloodcovered sausagelike thing out of her and physically assaults it, demonstrating that life begins and ends in violence, and therefore you should get good at it.

This does not simply happen from a movie.

[Syrran]

I don't know. Teen pregnancy has been on the rise either way, and besides I knew many a girl in high school who longed for children and hated that they had to wait because of school and eventual careers. It's part of our basic makeup. I can't say ( especially as a puerto rican hah!) that I haven't yearned for children, especially after losing my ex girlfriend's son not long ago who I was hoping to help raise and watch grow up. Up until very recently relatively speaking women were having children at that young of an age as a norm. Whatever was brought about with Juno, was hiding just barely under the surface anyway.

Also, while I did post about my concerns with WALL-E I will attest to the fact that the responsibility lies with the parents, not the film makers. Kind of hard to make a teen pregnancy film with the girl getting an abortion, and its not the first of its kind. What about For Keeps, or Fifteen and pregnant etc? It isn't like they hid the fact that she was pregnant in the promotional material....

[Bikerpunk]

These girls did not make any pact.

But they do live in an area where there's no work, and unless you want daddy telling you what to do into your 30s cause you still live at home, you get pregnant. You get a cheque!

[Amelia G]

I don't know. Teen pregnancy has been on the rise either way, and besides I knew many a girl in high school who longed for children and hated that they had to wait because of school and eventual careers. It's part of our basic makeup. I can't say ( especially as a puerto rican hah!) that I haven't yearned for children, especially after losing my ex girlfriend's son not long ago who I was hoping to help raise and watch grow up. Up until very recently relatively speaking women were having children at that young of an age as a norm. Whatever was brought about with Juno, was hiding just barely under the surface anyway.

Also, while I did post about my concerns with WALL-E I will attest to the fact that the responsibility lies with the parents, not the film makers. Kind of hard to make a teen pregnancy film with the girl getting an abortion, and its not the first of its kind. What about For Keeps, or Fifteen and pregnant etc? It isn't like they hid the fact that she was pregnant in the promotional material....

To me, it is the issue that it is cloaked in hipsterism and that anyone I know who has had an abortion felt awful after seeing the film. That goes beyond entertainment which happened to have teen pregnancy as part of the storyline.

Also, I would point to Fast Times at Ridgemont High as an example of a movie where the girl does get the abortion and they figure out what to do for the right number of minutes for a movie anyway.

[One Eyed Cat]

I've seen Juno praised by social conservatives on other sites. It is well-packaged, but I think the message you discerned was deliberate. Would be interesting to trace the script and $$$ behind Juno.

OEC

[Velvet-Tongue]

/facepalms

[athenahollow]

I watched Juno not because it had some female PR face (hell, I didn't even know it did). I watched it because I love Jason Bateman, and the lines I saw in the trailer were hilarious.
I was never under the impression by any of the advertising that I saw, that it was being pushed under the pretense that it was something written by a pro-feminism writer, or that they were pushing that in your face.

I was pleased at the movie and completely disagree with you on this one Amelia.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!

Yes, she does give the child to the woman in the middle of the divorce, but who's to say that a single completely loving, caring, devoted parent is worse than 2 shitty ones? Why are family values based solely on the idea that single parents are crap and to be a happy and successful adult, you must have a mom and a dad?
As far as the pro-life aspect of the movie, to each their own. I personally wasn't influenced to change my ideals, and any intelligent person will be the same. It was a dark, funny, bright take on a serious, ever-more occurring situation.

But, that's just my 2 cents.

Besides, that kid from grounded for life is in short gold shorts. Cute little chicken legs hahaha.

[athenahollow]

OOps i mean arrested development
god, can you tell i was tired earlier?

[GnArKiLL]

Teen pregnancy has been on the rise either way

Teen pregnancies at 30 year low

[Syrran]

mmm I went to catholic school when the low hit...kind of puts me out of proportion with the general populace.

[Morning Glory]

Hollywood movies make people stupid, and stupidity is the leading cause of teen pregnancy.

[Nicotine]

There was a feature on the news recently about the high school with the pregnancy "pact". Granted, I haven't seen "Juno" but my personal issues with this are:

A. I think it's ridiculous that these girls are all saying that seeing everything work out okay with Juno's pregnancy suddenly makes it all seem like not such a big deal.

B. Everybody seems really, really confused about is whether or not the teen fathers should be charged with statutory ****.

C. When the girls were lectured by a teen mom about how having kids affects your life, the worst thing she could come up with is "You can't go out with your friends every night, anymore."

Here are some quotes from this article:

“They were thrilled when they got pregnant, and they were very, very proud,” Kathleen Kingsbury, the TIME reporter who wrote the story, told Vieira. Girls would come out of the school’s clinic beaming after taking a pregnancy test and learning the result was positive. One girl yelled, “Sweet!” when she got the news.

The kids, she said, can’t see a way out. “None of them have a very strong life plan,” Kingsbury said. “Being a mother became something they can do, gave them an identity: ‘I can be someone. I can be a mother.’ They didn’t really have an alternative. Nobody offered them a better life.”

“They are potentially looking for unconditional love,” Dr. Christopher Lucas, a New York psychologist, told NBC News. “Much as puppies and kittens are cute, so is a baby.”

[Joel Awesome]

I hates babys and hipsters and happy thoughts but i still liked juno. Then again I also like the gilmore girls (no laughing) and it had the same snappy dialog.

[Ace]

Juno was an entertaining movie. A movie doesn't make a teenager decide to get pregnant, they do it because there are other personal issues at play. It's like saying Columbine happened because those boys listened to Marilyn Manson.

[Bikerpunk]

Juno was an entertaining movie. A movie doesn't make a teenager decide to get pregnant, they do it because there are other personal issues at play. It's like saying Columbine happened because those boys listened to Marilyn Manson.

No, it was because they were listening to KMFDM.

[Amelia G]

No, it was because they were listening to KMFDM.

And Laibach. Laibach are the real culprits.

[Bikerpunk]

How did you know that? Are you associated with that group, ma'am?

[Dishuman]

Juno Causes Teen Pregnancy ?!
Has Journalism become a big Joke? Well That was a rhetorical question I guess.
I won't read the Article because I will just get angry and my desire to kill stupid people will rise even more and I will get in trouble =)

Only Lust and Pleasure causes a rise in teen pregnancy...
The failure to enjoy sex with a piece of rubber attached to your penis.

[Amelia G]

Juno Causes Teen Pregnancy ?!
Has Journalism become a big Joke? Well That was a rhetorical question I guess.
I won't read the Article because I will just get angry and my desire to kill stupid people will rise even more and I will get in trouble =)

Only Lust and Pleasure causes a rise in teen pregnancy...
The failure to enjoy sex with a piece of rubber attached to your penis.

I think it is kinda lame when people who create media dismiss the notion that what they create has any impact. Sometimes a creation can have an impact the creator did not intend or want, but that is not the same as no impact.

We're kinda into our informed intelligent dialog over here, so you are welcome to disagree with anything in the article you'd like to, but ideally you'd read it first.

[Dishuman]

I know it might cause some impact, but is it really the Creator's fault, or the people who misinterpret the meaning behind the creation.
If we would be worried about misinterpretation we would do nothing and Marilyn Manson would've been banned in the 90's

[Raza]

No, it was because they were listening to KMFDM.

Well, 'Kein Mehrheit Für Die Mitleid' does seem applicable to their situation.


People fucking causes pregnancy. Movies, music - they influence peoples minds, but only through information, not force. It's the responsibility of the individual to process information sensibly; any decision they make based on it remains just that: a decision they made, based on something else.

Parents aren't responsible either, tbh. Parents have no business in their kids' sexlives, barring perhaps a particularly perverted kid.