Do you know how to open champagne?

[Amelia G]

One of the top searches on the internet right now is "how to open champagne" which seems like kind of late planning to me. Better late than never.

Do you know how to open champagne?

[VoltaireBlue]

yes, yes I do.

[Pull~My~Hair]

do it every day

[VoltaireBlue]

champagne is my favorite buzz and least favorite hangover.

[mystoo]

Ya, get someone else to do it. Duh!

[VoldtaEngler]

Across a yacht.

[aXa]

i use a hammer.

[Mindgames]

Hate the stuff; give me a $15 bottle of red and I'm happy (yup - cheap date), though it's fun watching wine-snobs fight over all the myths about silver spoons and clean glasses. Most people I've met who evangelize about champagne couldn't tell the difference between a vintage Krug and a $10 Cava unless they were reading the label - and I've tried it on several chefs, Frenchmen and French chefs. They actually like 'dry white sparkling wine', which is fine and dandy, but anything more than that is the slippery slope to labelism.

[Rockwulf]

Opening champagne is like the easiest thing in the world. I can't wait till Google writes a new app that makes a hammer fly out of your monitor if you type in a retarded search string like that. God, that would be fantastic.

[VoltaireBlue]

Hate the stuff; give me a $15 bottle of red and I'm happy (yup - cheap date), though it's fun watching wine-snobs fight over all the myths about silver spoons and clean glasses. Most people I've met who evangelize about champagne couldn't tell the difference between a vintage Krug and a $10 Cava unless they were reading the label - and I've tried it on several chefs, Frenchmen and French chefs. They actually like 'dry white sparkling wine', which is fine and dandy, but anything more than that is the slippery slope to labelism.

I'm not snobby about it, but I do know what flavors I like. a lot of the time the expensive stuff is only expensive because of the name. I like drier champagnes, and dry white wines. I love a good chardonnay; particualrly from california. with reds, I like them deep and earthy; most of them from sicily, or southern italy. good stuff isn't neccessarily expensive, and expensive stuff isn't neccessarily good.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Yes. I also know how to boil water. I'm a master of all those kind of tough tasks. Tying sneakers, buttoning shirts, making scrambled eggs. You can't hold me back. I can do it all.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

champagne is my favorite buzz and least favorite hangover.

Champagne is king at giving hangovers!

[soma_stardust]

Ya, get someone else to do it. Duh!

and get someone else to buy it, also.

[nathanmbailey]

Last time I tried to open a bottle it exploded. Seems you're not suppose to try and shotgun a bottle of bubbleh.

I'm not a wine drinker, but I do kind of like Arbor Mist stuff. It's cheap and the blackberry marlot tastes kind of kool-aid like to me. And at like 5 bucks for a big bottle, I get drunk for cheap.

[Morning Glory]

I assumed that you use a corkscrew, but now i'm wondering if maybe I have no idea. I've never done it before.

[Mindgames]

good stuff isn't neccessarily expensive, and expensive stuff isn't neccessarily good.

Put that on a t-shirt and I'll wear it.

[VoltaireBlue]

I assumed that you use a corkscrew, but now i'm wondering if maybe I have no idea. I've never done it before.

there's no corkscrew involved. you first undo the cage and then push the cork off into a hand towel. if you don't use something to catch the cork, you can injure someone or break something. it comes out hard and super fast.

[Mindgames]

I assumed that you use a corkscrew, but now i'm wondering if maybe I have no idea. I've never done it before.

Nope - can't corkscrew into a champagne cork - it'll blow apart in your face. You grip the cork


(sorry, try again. This needs a humorous French accent....)

Yeau greep se cerke wis a cleuth, and tayke heulde of se beuttle wis yeur ozzer ande. Reutayte se beuttle, kayping se cerke steel.

[Morning Glory]

isn't shooting it off, injuring the nearest relative, the whole point?

[Mr Karl]

uh, you just pull out the cork.......but maybe I've just been doing it wrong...............not up on 'champagne uncorking ettiquette'

[VoltaireBlue]

if you're just pulling out the cork, you're not drinking champagne. not any champagne worth drinking anyway.

[Janiac02]

if you're just pulling out the cork, you're not drinking champagne. not any champagne worth drinking anyway.

I've only actually opened one bottle. I was in middle school, I think. I shook the bottle first... Man can those corks shoot far! Really gross champagne, by the way, but it had a little cage thingy over the cork, so evidently it was the real thing.

[Cafe_Post_Mortem]

Yeah, it seems like whenever I get champagne I have to get two kinds. The kind to point in the air and let the cork fly on, and the kind to drink. I always open the bottles I plan on drinkin.

For a pop use warmer, point the bottle away from anything you do not want destroyed and use the two thumbs behind the cork approach. After the cork is removed, shake and spray your expensive, sticky squirt gun.

If you want to drink it, do like voltaire said, but make sure it is chilled. It taste better chilled, and it has less pressure or some scuch (less pop from the cork). You don't want to pop a cork on something you want to drink cause it will flatten it, so a gentle removal is best.

I love some champagnes, but champagne is a sometimes food. While it is easier to get a hangover from champagne, just avoiding the crappy ones will cut that risk by alot. So far, cork corks worked the best for me, but sampling helps. I sample a lot.

[Mindgames]

A typical champagne cork (from a shaken bottle) travels at 30mph, so is unlikely to kill anyone unless they're opening it with their teeth, or it happens to bounce off a land mine. It is, however, considered poor etiquette to spray your grandmother with wine at a formal function.

And for the hardened trivia buffs, the only vintners allowed to call their wine "champagne" are the licensed French producers of the Champagne region, and the Americans. The use of the word was regulated by the Treaty of Versailles in 1919, but as the US was in prohibition it didn't see the need to mention anything alcohol-related, and so signed a different variation without that clause.

[VoltaireBlue]

yes, that's true. ^^^ everything else is a sparkling white.

[Morning Glory]

that's pretty cool that we get to call our sparkling wine champagne even though it isn't. that must be why the french hate America.

[Rockwulf]

I worked for the PA Liquor Control Board for almost 5 years and one of my favorite cutomers was this little old lady who stood in line for over an hour one NYE to get a bottle of champagne for her friends at dinner. Being a frail old lady she was unsure if she'd be able to open it when the time came and as I was ringing it up, asked me to open it for her. I warned her that if I were to open the bottle now, it would most likely go flat by the time she was ready to serve it to her guests and she said, in her sweetest little old lady voice, "Eh, fuck 'em." It was awesome.

[Mindgames]

...that must be why the french hate America.

Nahh - they USED to be pissed at America over getting only 3c/acre for Louisiana, but now it's worth even less than that, they just find it funny.

course, the whole "French..." thing kinda grates. Invented a food item? Is it saturated in fat? Will it wipe out a generation through obesity and heart disease? Cool. Call it "French".

[VoltaireBlue]

these golden raspberries I'm eating would be good with champagne.

[VoltaireBlue]

Champagne is king at giving hangovers!

si. every time I drink too much of it I feel like a million pesos the next day.

[Cafe_Post_Mortem]

course, the whole "French..." thing kinda grates. Invented a food item? Is it saturated in fat? Will it wipe out a generation through obesity and heart disease? Cool. Call it "French".

You know, despite the high levels of saturated fats found in a lot of french cooking, they don't seem to have the diet related problems we do in the US. I think it has to do with portion control and variety. They may eat spinach salads covered in bacon grease dressing but at least they eat spinach.

Besides, would you rather get heart disease from a delicious Steak Au Poivre or salmon crepe, or die of big mac poisoning?

[Rockwulf]

To be fair, the occasional Big Mac is fuckin' delicious.

[VoldtaEngler]

To be fair, the occasional Big Mac is fuckin' delicious.

Maybe that's why you can't find biker pants that fit? Kidding.

[jonny.illuminati]

it comes out hard and super fast.

um.... damn....

[Rockwulf]

Maybe that's why you can't find biker pants that fit? Kidding.

When did I ever say that? I was bitching about jeans that weren't durable, not that didn't fit. Try to keep up.

[VoldtaEngler]

When did I ever say that? I was bitching about jeans that weren't durable, not that didn't fit. Try to keep up.

Shit, maybe that was BP...lol. :p

[skully]

a banquet server trick is to take the cloth napkin and put it over the top of the bottle, Hold thebottle and napkin by the neck and then pop the cork, the napkin preventing it from shooting anywhere.

Cheers
Skully

[MsVulgaris]

I know *how* to do it, but I always get scared. Same thing when there's a balloon nearby. I just cringe waiting for it to burst and make that terrible loud POP and make me jump out of my skin. Your cork-popping method sounds good though, Skully.

[skully]

MsVulgaris, its a lot less scary when you don't have to worry about the cork hitting someone in the eye... unfortunately its also alot less fun

Cheers
Skully

[helcyon]

Someone who was touring around France came back and told me that they were informed that the bottle should make a sound like a "virgin sigh" when it has it's cork popped. Oh yeah that is a well known sound... erm... actually does anyone have any idea what a "virgin sigh" sounds like? Maybe a gentle "waaa" or "oooo" or "ooof" or ???