Can't concentrate. Can't focus. Can't sleep and for hte most part I've found myself staring off into space when I speak to people. I'm still listening and respond but I'm simply not there. There's a few reasons and they're all seriously screwing with my head.
1) I got a new full-time, 9-5.30pm job as a PR and Communications Officer at an Internet Company, my role also includes writing gaming reviews for an associated website - you'd think it was a dream job - I've never worked more than 25 hours a week so that's stressing me
2) the company i'm working for is in direct competition with the company most of my mates work for, to top things off, the gaming site i'm writing for is in even closer competition than the one my mates are at
3) another position just opened up in Sydney and its something that i could get as a TV hsot for a gaming show. However, its only 3 months but would be something i'd love to do, of course at the sacrifice of my current employment and its rare to even get a permanent full-time job, especially for someone 21, fresh out of uni with no real experience
Here's the problem, if I apply for the job in Sydney, I have to move keep it a secret so as not to piss off my new employer, something to fall back on. If I take the job in Sydney (assuming I get it - to be honest I'm probably up there with a damn good chance) then it's only three months. ie sacrificing full-time work for a three month bout of fun but with nothing to fall back on. that said, taking up the job in sydney would let open up other paths into radio and possibly cement me with a games journalist position somewhere.
i don't want to be stuck in an office, "but it's a great opportunity to gather experience and work your way up" yeah well so is going to sydney. Just different paths. Fuck, both are risky really. But heading to sydney would get me away from everything for a while and let me relax .. something I haven't done for years. Went from school, to uni, to full-time work. Sure i've partied but i haven't really had time to chill and focus on nothing.
Grrr .. i think its living with my parents. ALl that pressure stuff. Worst thing is, I know i've got a great opportunity here. Fuck.
In any case, i've been thinking about this too much. Waaaaaaay too much.
I'm not expecting replies. Just needed to post ya know?
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