My Apologies!

[Eva Victoria]

Sorry for not getting back to you all in the recent post but something major has come about. I don't know how familiar you are with this condition but it leaves me no choice but to remove myself from the modeling industry. I do not know when I will be available to model or do anything for that fact but I do hope to work with Ameila and Forrest sooner than later.

Now for the point of the whole story. I went to the doctor yesterday and well there is no easy way to put this but I have heart disease. I also have other heart related issues that I will need surgery for in less than a couple of months. So as I take my steps to get better I want to thank you all for being wonderful, and viewing my posts and such. Thank you Amelia and Forrest for everything. I hope to stay on the site even if I have to pay.. I still love viewing other models work and taking part in conversations. I am not giving up creating art I just have to put it on hold for a little bit. I really can relate to people with the same conditions. It's painful and at times overwhelming. My thoughts and heart go out to anyone dealing with any disease that they have no control over. They are the true strength of life!

<3

[Anarkey]

well just take care of your self and do what you have too do to get better ,,
i got peeps in my family with the same problems and know its got to be a major bummer to have to change your life sytle and do alkot of things diff from what your used too.
I hope its not to serious as allmost all heart problems are ,and with time and surgery and med you be OK! I'll be prayin for ya , if peep dont like that comment ,too bad ..just get well ,and hope too see more of ya soon ..

Anarkey

[GnArKiLL]

Im sorry to hear that. Take care ::hug::

[Jax]

You always know where Im at if you ever need anything. It makes me sad when you are so down, and that last message you sent me broke my heart. Dont give up, dont think the worst even though its hard to do with everything going on. I wish I was there to just give you a big hug and hold you in my arms. The modeling industry just adds to the stress, Im glad youre taking a break because you need to worry about YOU right now and take care of yourself.

You know how much I love you, at least I hope you do...so just remember that a ton of people really care for you, and will do anything within our power to help you through this.

Lots of love and hugs punk rock style;]

<3

[Eva Victoria]

well just take care of your self and do what you have too do to get better ,,
i got peeps in my family with the same problems and know its got to be a major bummer to have to change your life sytle and do alkot of things diff from what your used too.
I hope its not to serious as allmost all heart problems are ,and with time and surgery and med you be OK! I'll be prayin for ya , if peep dont like that comment ,too bad ..just get well ,and hope too see more of ya soon ..

Anarkey

For lack of better term it's a real pain in the ass. I feel like an old person, well at least my body does. I am uncertain where this will lead me too. But all I can do is go to my appointments(which are every other day) and just do as told. Other than that there isn't anything else I can do. I will be back, I am always fighting!
Thank you!

[Eva Victoria]

Im sorry to hear that. Take care ::hug::

Thank you, I will try my best!

[Eva Victoria]

You always know where Im at if you ever need anything. It makes me sad when you are so down, and that last message you sent me broke my heart. Dont give up, dont think the worst even though its hard to do with everything going on. I wish I was there to just give you a big hug and hold you in my arms. The modeling industry just adds to the stress, Im glad youre taking a break because you need to worry about YOU right now and take care of yourself.

You know how much I love you, at least I hope you do...so just remember that a ton of people really care for you, and will do anything within our power to help you through this.

Lots of love and hugs punk rock style;]

<3

Awe thank you darling! It's incredibly hard not to be down, I am on limited mobility. A snail can move faster than I Awe hunny thank you so much! You are too kind! I am taking a break from a lot of things to just get better. I am just spending time at home and doing things I love to do.

I love you so much darling, thank you for everything! You are the best!

xxoo
<3

[Mortalus]

Oh wow.. :\ You have my hope and love Eva. My Mom just recently went to the doc about periodic chest pains; he sent her to a heart doc, did the stress test etc and he made her an appointment to see him in two weeks. Needless to say it's a very stressing situation waiting for the results.

Take care of yourself, Doll. *hugs* Even though you dun know me, I still care. :\

[Mirren]

Eva,
I am going through medical issues/tests right now so I know where you are coming from completely. I have no diagnosis at this time but I am preparing myself for whatever may come, as we do in these situations. I am sorry for your mental pain and anguish, it's hard to live with chronic pain /health issues. I hope you find some kind of inner peace and the strength you need when you'll need it the most. Much success with your surgeries. It breaks my heart to see people in physical and or emotional pain. It's frightening and frustrating that we can be fine one day and then it's taken all away from us seemingly... we feel like we aren't who we once were. You have a great attitude to fight, I am very proud of you. Remember you aren't alone, that's what keeps me going every day. No one knows what may befall them. You are in my thoughts. *hugs*

[Mirren]

Eva,
I wanted to mention to you a few things that have helped me through this trying time in my life in hopes they may help you in some way. When I have those moments when I feel a bit "better", I take advantage of them. I even got myself to dance a bit a weekend or so ago, I paid for it the next day but it was worth it. Also, my niece, who is 6 months old now, she inspires me, I walked with her for hours and hours one night when she was being a bit fussy. I felt that for 2 days, we really have to pace ourselves when mobility is limited. I am on heavy pain medications which often make me quite ill so I have to be very careful. I take Benadryl to counteract the toxins of the pain killers. I am painting now and it is extremely rewarding, I have to force myself but I do it. You have to think about yourself more than anything or anyone right now. When I get discouraged I listen to this song, it was the funeral song for my 21 year old cousin, a few months ago.

I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but its worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along.
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?)

[Mindgames]

Best wishes from someone else you don't know, but sincerely sent nonetheless.

As Mirren says, no matter how you may feel it's worth putting in a little effort to cheer yourself up. It's when you don't want to be laughing that it's most important to. Value your friends, value yourself and remember that when people back off a little and "give you space", they're only waiting for a phone call.

mG

[Black Spiral Dancer]

You take care. You'll always be welcome here.

[mmmcherry]

we all love you and send big huge hugs whenever you need them *huggssss*

[Baby_Switchblade]

Eva, I'm sorry to hear the news, but I know already that you're a strong person (even if I'm only going from posts and profile info lol) and it won't drag you to the ground.
All my love, and my thoughts are with you. *hugs* Take care. xx

[malcolm]

terribly sorry to hear the bad news.Hope all works out well and am sure you will do fine.

[Buster Friendly]

get well soon!

[Eva Victoria]

Eva,
I am going through medical issues/tests right now so I know where you are coming from completely. I have no diagnosis at this time but I am preparing myself for whatever may come, as we do in these situations. I am sorry for your mental pain and anguish, it's hard to live with chronic pain /health issues. I hope you find some kind of inner peace and the strength you need when you'll need it the most. Much success with your surgeries. It breaks my heart to see people in physical and or emotional pain. It's frightening and frustrating that we can be fine one day and then it's taken all away from us seemingly... we feel like we aren't who we once were. You have a great attitude to fight, I am very proud of you. Remember you aren't alone, that's what keeps me going every day. No one knows what may befall them. You are in my thoughts. *hugs*

Thank you so kindly. It's a little harder because i'm going through other personal issues. Right now everything is building up and seems like Mt. Everest. I'm not really sure how well I will deal with everything but all I know is I will not change who I am. I just hope that things will get better and I will be happy and alive again. I am so drained that it's barely easy to keep my eyes open. These days drag along! I am not able to exercise or any of that. so I have become so bored in my state of depression. One day everything will be better again!

[Eva Victoria]

Eva,
I wanted to mention to you a few things that have helped me through this trying time in my life in hopes they may help you in some way. When I have those moments when I feel a bit "better", I take advantage of them. I even got myself to dance a bit a weekend or so ago, I paid for it the next day but it was worth it. Also, my niece, who is 6 months old now, she inspires me, I walked with her for hours and hours one night when she was being a bit fussy. I felt that for 2 days, we really have to pace ourselves when mobility is limited. I am on heavy pain medications which often make me quite ill so I have to be very careful. I take Benadryl to counteract the toxins of the pain killers. I am painting now and it is extremely rewarding, I have to force myself but I do it. You have to think about yourself more than anything or anyone right now. When I get discouraged I listen to this song, it was the funeral song for my 21 year old cousin, a few months ago.

I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but its worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along.
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone?)

I am sorry that the doctors are unsure of your condition. It takes strong people to get through the extreme tests of life. There is nothing more rewarding than overcoming surgeries, cancer, extreme things like that feeling a million times better. I know once this is over I'm going to feel 12 again. I really hope the doctors can help you. I know you will be ok, doctors usually can do amazing things. Just make sure you have a specialist.

[Eva Victoria]

Best wishes from someone else you don't know, but sincerely sent nonetheless.

As Mirren says, no matter how you may feel it's worth putting in a little effort to cheer yourself up. It's when you don't want to be laughing that it's most important to. Value your friends, value yourself and remember that when people back off a little and "give you space", they're only waiting for a phone call.

mG

Awe that is the sweetest! The weird thing is I don't want space, I hate being alone especially in this certain time. I just love hearing other peoples experiences and views helps me get through things a little easier.
Thank you!

[Babydolly]

You dont know me Eva but I hope you are doing okay and wish you all the best.

Thanks for raising awareness that it can happen to youg people too xxx

[Jax]

Awe thank you darling! It's incredibly hard not to be down, I am on limited mobility. A snail can move faster than I Awe hunny thank you so much! You are too kind! I am taking a break from a lot of things to just get better. I am just spending time at home and doing things I love to do.

I love you so much darling, thank you for everything! You are the best!

xxoo
<3

I cant even imagine the emotional trauma this has had on you. If I could trade places with you, I would in a heartbeat. You have so much to offer this world, and we need you strong and healthy. Youve helped me get through a few things as well, and I dont know what Id do not knowing you love me! I can talk to you about anything, and I hope the same goes for you.

Youll get through this, just try to squeeze in some positive thoughts among the ill thoughts. I aint going anywhere anytime soon (Im a stubborn biatch), so I hope theres some comfort in knowing I will always be here for you.

I love you soooooo much girl.

XOXO!!

[Nudemuse]

I hope you get on the road to recovery quickly. I know how it can be with bad health and things of the sort. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[Mirren]

Thank you so kindly. It's a little harder because i'm going through other personal issues. Right now everything is building up and seems like Mt. Everest. I'm not really sure how well I will deal with everything but all I know is I will not change who I am. I just hope that things will get better and I will be happy and alive again. I am so drained that it's barely easy to keep my eyes open. These days drag along! I am not able to exercise or any of that. so I have become so bored in my state of depression. One day everything will be better again!

Of course no matter what happens to us there are definitely things going on behind the scenes and we need to learn to channel those feelings properly over time. I know the fear of not knowing if you are ever going to feel healthy again or the thoughts of just wishing you could go back and do things different but this is now and what we have to face. You will be stronger , I am. All of this emotional & physical pain changes your outlook on life because no matter who loves you, they can't take it away, you carry it alone and that's a heavy burden. You have to believe with everything you have that you will regain your optimum health. You cannot afford a negative thought right now. Not being able to do much makes us feel defective, I understand but this will pass. Keep yourself as occupied as possible but get your much needed rest too. Love, Mirren

[Mirren]

I am sorry that the doctors are unsure of your condition. It takes strong people to get through the extreme tests of life. There is nothing more rewarding than overcoming surgeries, cancer, extreme things like that feeling a million times better. I know once this is over I'm going to feel 12 again. I really hope the doctors can help you. I know you will be ok, doctors usually can do amazing things. Just make sure you have a specialist.

It takes time for a proper diagnosis, and I have time. I want accuracy and I have endured this far. People have gone through so much more and made it, so will we. I won't turn back or look back in regret anylonger. What is in the past will stay there now. It's forward forever. If you ever need to talk or just feel like ranting or letting emotions out please e-mail me at abigailtate@hotmail.com. Please just put Eva in the topic. I am just a click away, you need support in times like this and you got it.

[sheramil]

my vague advice: take it easy and within a year or so, stem cell technology will be advanced enough for them to take a cell from the end of your nose and grow it into TWO hearts. no problems with organ rejection - they're your cells.

and your heartbeat will have a back-beat. you can hug a microphone between your breasts and hire yourself out as a rather attractive drum machine.

[drewblood]

wow. sad news.... but sounds like you are doing everything you can. I think positive thinking goes a long way when your ailing... i know that's hard to do, but I really feel like it's gotten me through some sick times.

keep us posted if you can. good vibes.

[seeker]

I know we do not know each other but I hope your condition improves. Medical treatment is stressful in its self. I just spent 6 weeks waiting for my neurologist to get a second opinion on whether I had suffered a minor stroke or not last yr, after I had an MRI scan to findout it was a minor subdermal hemorrage in the brain.

Ops and medication can do alot these days I've found.

So be positive.

[Mirren]

I know we do not know each other but I hope your condition improves. Medical treatment is stressful in its self. I just spent 6 weeks waiting for my neurologist to get a second opinion on whether I had suffered a minor stroke or not last yr, after I had an MRI scan to findout it was a minor subdermal hemorrage in the brain.

Ops and medication can do alot these days I've found.

So be positive.

Good advice. Here's to your prosperous health.

[OliX]

...I want to thank you all for being wonderful, and viewing my posts and such...

<3

same to you and get healthy soon as possible

[Anarkey]

qwikie note hope your fellin better today!

[DARKGYM]

I'm sorry to hear the news. I truly hope you get healthy as soon as possible, I can only imagine how crushing it is to be debilitated to that level and you have my sympathies. Keep fighting and don't let it overwhelm you.

Once again I wish you a speedy and healthy recovery.

[VoldtaEngler]

we all love you!...that pretty much sums it up

[One Eyed Cat]

Sorry for not getting back to you all in the recent post but something major has come about. I don't know how familiar you are with this condition but it leaves me no choice but to remove myself from the modeling industry. I do not know when I will be available to model or do anything for that fact but I do hope to work with Ameila and Forrest sooner than later.

Now for the point of the whole story. I went to the doctor yesterday and well there is no easy way to put this but I have heart disease. I also have other heart related issues that I will need surgery for in less than a couple of months. So as I take my steps to get better I want to thank you all for being wonderful, and viewing my posts and such. Thank you Amelia and Forrest for everything. I hope to stay on the site even if I have to pay.. I still love viewing other models work and taking part in conversations. I am not giving up creating art I just have to put it on hold for a little bit. I really can relate to people with the same conditions. It's painful and at times overwhelming. My thoughts and heart go out to anyone dealing with any disease that they have no control over. They are the true strength of life!

<3

You will get through this, just remember that. My mother had a heart valve replaced and she's never felt better. I've dealt with a medical problem all my life. Its a challenge, but you will get through this. This I guarantee.

[Eva Victoria]

You dont know me Eva but I hope you are doing okay and wish you all the best.

Thanks for raising awareness that it can happen to youg people too xxx

Thank you so much! It's not as rare as people think it is. Heart disease affects anyone. I will stay strong and overcome this!

[Eva Victoria]

I cant even imagine the emotional trauma this has had on you. If I could trade places with you, I would in a heartbeat. You have so much to offer this world, and we need you strong and healthy. Youve helped me get through a few things as well, and I dont know what Id do not knowing you love me! I can talk to you about anything, and I hope the same goes for you.

Youll get through this, just try to squeeze in some positive thoughts among the ill thoughts. I aint going anywhere anytime soon (Im a stubborn biatch), so I hope theres some comfort in knowing I will always be here for you.

I love you soooooo much girl.

XOXO!!

Awe hunny, I will be ok someday. I would never let anyone trade places with me, it's a very hard thing I would never want anyone to go through this. Awe hunny thank you so much! I really hope I have helped you through some tough times. I really care about my friends and want the best for them.

Awe darling you are the best! Thank you so much for being here as one of me best friends, and a person to talk to when things are down. I hope you are doing well.. I love you soooo much!

[Eva Victoria]

I hope you get on the road to recovery quickly. I know how it can be with bad health and things of the sort. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Thank you so much! I plan on a quick recovery, and getting back to things I love the most.

[Eva Victoria]

It takes time for a proper diagnosis, and I have time. I want accuracy and I have endured this far. People have gone through so much more and made it, so will we. I won't turn back or look back in regret anylonger. What is in the past will stay there now. It's forward forever. If you ever need to talk or just feel like ranting or letting emotions out please e-mail me at abigailtate@hotmail.com. Please just put Eva in the topic. I am just a click away, you need support in times like this and you got it.

Thank you so much darling! Staying strong and having supporting friends is the best thing in the world!

[Mirren]

Thank you so much darling! Staying strong and having supporting friends is the best thing in the world!

Anytime. I just want you to feel better, as we all do. Love, Mirren