Girlfriend Threatening Suicide

[MistressJennifer]

Ok, my friend in the UK, she just e-mailed me and told me that she is thinking of killing herself over some horrible boyfriend!!! So I called her, she is at the pub, and sounding a bit better. She is with a friend. I hope she is OK. I told her to call me if she ever feels that way again.

I guess it's just the holiday season, I have been feeling bad about my ex too... I tried to tell her that I have been through it too, and felt just the same way about a million times. I mean, my heart has been broken a million times, and I am still here.

So I guess that's the best I can do. I have no really great advice for her. It's never easy is it?

[VoldtaEngler]

Sorry to hear that hun,
Its hard to give advice to somebody who is in that state of mind. "it will get better" is all they will hear from friends..and yet sometimes people like that seem to think otherwise.

Most you can do is pretty much be there for her and help guide her to a safe way out of her depression.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[GnArKiLL]

Hopefully she is smart enough to realize that no bf or gf is worth harming yourself over.

[LoraLie]

Suicide is really selfish in my opinion. Thats what always stopped me.
But yeah . . . .
no guy/girl is worth it. no one.
meh

[Morning Glory]

shit or get off the pot. sorry to sound so harsh, but it's like, well if you really want to kill yourself than do it. why are you asking me about it? i'm not going to lie to you and tell you that everything is going to be peachy. things probablly won't get better. you can deal with it or don't. either way it's a really wierd personal thing and isn't anyone elses business. it's not in my authority to tell people to live or die.

[Amelia G]

You are a good friend, Jennifer. Sometimes all it takes to show someone life is worth living is a person good enough to show them that the world is at worst 99% sucky. If it is 100% bad, then why not off oneself? But, if there is any good in the world, then sticking around just might mean there would get to be more and more good in the world. When someone feels that way, one kind word can make all the difference. Sounds good if she is out on the town and with a friend.

You can always share the statistic that more people kill themselves around Xmas than any other time of year. No sense killing oneself at a time of year when it would be so expected and pedestrian. Better to wait for some time more dramatic (by which time the "holidays" will be over and everyone will feel better.)

[MistressJennifer]

Thank you Amelia...

[dead_but_twitching]

actually i looked that thiing about people killing themselves around Xmas...
and it turns out to be the least súicidal holiday.... autumn is the worst..

the pain of living is better than just a dark emptiness

[xssve]

I used to think about suicide a lot, after a while it became simply a method of putting things into perspective - bad as it may be, it can always get worse.

I don't recommend it for everyone, I have a natural inclination to take satisfaction out of being a thorn in the side of complacency, and that keeps me going when I can't think of anything else.

Otherwise, in the words of Warren Zevon: "I'm gonna hurl myself against the wall, 'cause I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all"

I'm not a masochist, but i'd have offed myself back then, I'd never have learned that the pain of unrequited love is the most exquisite agony of all.

[MistressJennifer]

She called me today... It turns out to be worse than I thought, this horrible boyfriend lives with this creepy cop stepdad who is rude to her on the phone...

I told her not to call him anymore, just call me instead, or just try to write in her diary. Or write a letter and don't send it. This creepy white trash family is out to get her...She went through something horrible with this guy.

Anyway, I think she will be OK...

[Buster Friendly]

good advice MJ...

...some people it's better to just cut your ties with, and run away as fast as you can. although i know how hard that can be sometimes...

hope she's okay, and feeling better.

[MistressJennifer]

Thank you Buster... I know it is so hard to cut all ties. That is the toughest thing. To just let people go. And sometimes you really become friends with these lovers, so it's that too, just no more friend, nothing, just no contact. That is really the toughest for me, how impermanent all relationships are, friends, lovers...

But when a friend or lover becomes an enemy, you really have no choice. There really are evil people out there, and they try to hurt you, and you have to stay away from them just to survive... But it's not easy.

[Buster Friendly]

...say, didn't your ex mention he'd like to be tossed head first into the resevoir at the top of central park for x-mas?

... sorry...

yeah, if something can be salvaged then okay... but even in the begining it's best to just go cold turkey... even if you were friends, because that closes the door on the "yeah but..." "what if..." syndrome.

amputation halts the spread of gangrene...

[MistressJennifer]

...say, didn't your ex mention he'd like to be tossed head first into the resevoir at the top of central park for x-mas?

... sorry...

yeah, if something can be salvaged then okay... but even in the begining it's best to just go cold turkey... even if you were friends, because that closes the door on the "yeah but..." "what if..." syndrome.

amputation halts the spread of gangrene...

Yes actually he did mention it... Yes I think he would LOVE to be tossed head first into the resevoir at the top of Central Park for Christmas!!! Can you do it? I will PAY you!!! hah! Now that's a GREAT Christmas present!!! And as far as amputation, well, go ahead and amputate any offending part of his anatomy!!! Yes THAT!!!!

[Buster Friendly]

would you like that gift wrapped?

[Rockwulf]

Anyone who tells you they're going to kill themself, is like 80% or more NOT going to kill theirself. It's a fucking cry for attention from someone who hasn't matured intellectually since high-school when that crap was accepted.

I'd advise that person to quit being a complete douche and do something worthy of peoples attention, rather than forcing them to pay attention to you the easy way by offing yourself.

[Amelia G]

Anyone who tells you they're going to kill themself, is like 80% or more NOT going to kill theirself. It's a fucking cry for attention from someone who hasn't matured intellectually since high-school when that crap was accepted.

I'd advise that person to quit being a complete douche and do something worthy of peoples attention, rather than forcing them to pay attention to you the easy way by offing yourself.

I'll accept your ballpark on the stats, although I don't know any studies offhand which have been done on it. 80% of the time, when someone in pain reaches out to those close to them, they get the reassurance they need that it is worth it to go on living. 20% of the time, I guess they don't get that bit of reassurance which can make all the difference. If someone is suffering so much that they would be willing to kill themselves for a little attention, I think we can all put into practice a little bit of the spirit of giving.

That said, if someone is going all Cancer Boy on everyone they know and constantly asking those around them to give, without giving themselves, that is a totally different issue.

[MistressJennifer]

would you like that gift wrapped?

OK! Maybe we could find some cute wrapping paper with little HOT DOGS on it!!!! Hah!!! Wouldn't that be just so adorable?

[MistressJennifer]

I'll accept your ballpark on the stats, although I don't know any studies offhand which have been done on it. 80% of the time, when someone in pain reaches out to those close to them, they get the reassurance they need that it is worth it to go on living. 20% of the time, I guess they don't get that bit of reassurance which can make all the difference. If someone is suffering so much that they would be willing to kill themselves for a little attention, I think we can all put into practice a little bit of the spirit of giving.

That said, if someone is going all Cancer Boy on everyone they know and constantly asking those around them to give, without giving themselves, that is a totally different issue.

I tend to agree with you Amelia... Having actually known five girls that have died from drugs or AIDS, or maybe partially just not caring anymore, I feel that I need to at least TRY to help them, although sometimes you can't but. But you have to try. I do.

[Black Spiral Dancer]

Where is your friend from? Not from the North East of England, I hope. If so, I may know her.

[MistressJennifer]

Where is your friend from? Not from the North East of England, I hope. If so, I may know her.

She is right near Scotland, I think it was northerlund? gosh... She hangs around with a guy named Charlie. I don't want to say her name on the web...

[TheDeathKnight]

Sometimes I think people just need to realize that life sucks.
People often suck. Jobs suck.
That's the way life is...

If you can't handle the fact that life is hard, and people are lame,
then maybe you should off yourself.

People have the idea that life is supposed to be peaches and
fairy princesses, where everyone gets to grow up to be a big
rich movie star... Life is not like that, despite what you see on tv...

Life is just working to make money to have a place to live, and
food to eat. Anything else is gravy...

[Buster Friendly]

wow... if i lived your version of 'life' DK it would suck.

i wouldn't off myself though. i'd take it out on the rest of you. probably become a cop or something.

fortunately instead i realize that there are all sorts of cool things to learn, interesting people to meet, skills to master, experiences to have... tv, radio, the times, teh interweb, do not reflect reality. there's so much more out there if your life is being programmed by fox news, then yeah it's gonna suck.

but fuck the world they expect us to pay for. i didn't order this shit, and i ain't gonna pay for it either.

[Anarkey]

Sometimes I think people just need to realize that life sucks.
People often suck. Jobs suck.
That's the way life is...

If you can't handle the fact that life is hard, and people are lame,
then maybe you should off yourself.

People have the idea that life is supposed to be peaches and
fairy princesses, where everyone gets to grow up to be a big
rich movie star... Life is not like that, despite what you see on tv...

Life is just working to make money to have a place to live, and
food to eat. Anything else is gravy...

Hence why im offficaily drinking again ,fyck this ,i need some thing to level me out ..

[Mr Karl]

Hence why im offficaily drinking again ,fyck this ,i need some thing to level me out ..

haha I just quit a couple weeks ago, got tired of leveling out

[Black Spiral Dancer]

She is right near Scotland, I think it was northerlund? gosh... She hangs around with a guy named Charlie. I don't want to say her name on the web...

Northumberland? If she goes to or has heard of a club called the Charnel House, I may well know her...

[bohoki]

sounds like she needs a vacation invite her to come live in your closet for a week

[Exquisite]

When I was young I had similar issues, my life was crap to put it mildly. But then I left home and got out of the abusive environment. Since that day I have never wanted to even think about that. There is so much joy in life, so much joy, I remember a friend telling me that feeling like that wasn't normal, life was too good for that. I hung out with her for a week, stayed at her place and she was right. The thing that was killing me was the toxic environment I was living in. So as soon as I could I got out and haven't looked back.

[Titus]

Hi there,

I think showing her you do care is definetely the best thing you can do. Many suicide-attempts are so called "apellative attempts", but that doesn't mean they're ignorable or immature at all.
The problem is, that it's so hard to find a good shrink, without sending sb through another hell-circle of medication & new addictions...Suicidal drives call for therapy, and friends usually are not fit for the job!
My best wishes,

T.

[Amaltheas_Attic]

shit or get off the pot. sorry to sound so harsh, but it's like, well if you really want to kill yourself than do it. why are you asking me about it? i'm not going to lie to you and tell you that everything is going to be peachy. things probablly won't get better. you can deal with it or don't. either way it's a really wierd personal thing and isn't anyone elses business. it's not in my authority to tell people to live or die.

I had a crappy boyfriend who would threaten this every time I tried to leave. Eventually I ended up offering to pay for whatever method would help him to accomplish the goal. People need to really think about what they're saying and not toss that threat around or no one will have sympathy if you REALLY fall into a depression.

[Xochitl]

Heatbreak is a real bitch but if you do something to make her laugh it really helps. Killing yourself over someone is so terrible, I hope that it is just the moment and she isn't serious. This time of year is tough especially about breaking up with someone but it gets better.

[Zoe]

That really sucks I'm sorry, but honestly suicide is soooooooooooooo fucking selfish and ignorant ! Just remind her of that! No guy is really worth killing yourself over COME ON?