If I'm going to contribute to the community, I may as well introduce myself. So! Me! Ummmmm....
A gypsy spirit struck my mom when I was a kid and we lived as nomads all over the US, doing whatever, staying in one spot maybe a week, maybe a few months. Up until that point, I was raised very nearly in a barn. My family hoarded animals and we sometimes housed upwards of 50 critters at a time right where we slept ourselves. I ran away at 16 to go to college but I didn't actually make it there 'til a few years later. When I write intros like this, people expect "my mother was a hampster and my father smelt of elderberries" to follow. My mother most closely resembled a timber wolf, if I had to pick, and what the hell is an elderberry?
I type much better than I speak. I'm Cajun, and Texan, so in times of passion, my voice gets loud and my accent thick. I distort the English language to words like "Eem" and "Tomah" and, my personal favorite, "Wallago." Bonus if you have a clue!
On any given day you can find me assisting in surgery, clipping off some guy's hemorrhoids or delivering someone's baby; in a lab, breeding flies and counting sex combs; writing fiction or non, occasionally for Blue Blood; doing stand up at a local hookah bar; throwing out psychotic vagrants on the night shift because I happen to manage the only sex store within a 100 miles and it is A BLOCK AWAY from a facility for the destitute/mentally infirm. It always seems to happen when I'm testing the merchandise, so I give a lot of statements to the cops while gesticulating with a very large, festive, vibrating phallus in hand. I don't even feel silly anymore.
I collect empty notebooks and wear stripper heels while vacuuming. I have never had a driving lesson despite owning my own car for over three years. I avow to, one day, make my life a pg-13 rendition of it's former glory. Hi guys!
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