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Thread: the first poem I've written in weeks

  1. #1
    Camby Savelle's Avatar Stars shaped like hearts
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    Default the first poem I've written in weeks

    This is a note in beauty, for all the things that make you smile
    When our hearts beat together, a love pure as the soul of a child
    How do you say goodbye to someone so perfect?
    ...and through happiness you make me feel like I'm not worthless
    If I was to be there, to hold you, to see into your soul
    The sun would set another day and we'd never let go
    To feel the warmth of your lips, I would cross the sea
    ...and even in dreams your words breath life into me
    ...and even in dreams you gave me hope to believe
    ...and if only in dreams...I knew that you loved me

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: the first poem I've written in weeks

    Peaceful and Nice , I think. **

  3. #3

    Default Re: the first poem I've written in weeks

    romantic done for adults but in "for kids" kinda writing..... it's nice and readable, but not actualy my style

  4. #4

    Default Re: the first poem I've written in weeks

    Quote Originally Posted by Camby Savelle
    The sun would set another day and we'd never let go
    This is quite haunting... fabulous.

  5. #5
    Camby Savelle's Avatar Stars shaped like hearts
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    Default Re: the first poem I've written in weeks

    To be judged by others, as I have done.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: the first poem I've written in weeks

    To be honest, as a poet myself, this is the type of stuff I try to avoid writing. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but this type of thing has been done a billion times. You very well may mean what you're saying in it, but the clicheness overshadows any emotion or depth. But then again, I basically just write simplistic gore poetry.

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