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Thread: Spousal Abuse

  1. #1
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Spousal Abuse

    My so-called brother-in-law is a Plastic Surgeon making 500K a year. I was informed about an hour ago that he had been abusing my sister. My nephew is less than a year old. She moved out with my nephew and got a restraining order. I hope he enjoys Cali divorce law.

    I am overcome with rage and grief. Everything is really good in my own life. I feel like ... well ... I want some fucking justice.

    OEC

    PS: Spousal Abuse knows no boundaries.

  2. #2
    Lilly's Avatar Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Wow OEC, it's tough to know what to say in this situation because I know no matter what I say it's not going to change how his actions make you feel.

    There are some good points to this though :
    1) Your sister left the bastard (no offence to those born out of wedlock intended) that is something to be proud of, she's obviously a very strong lady.

    2) Your nephew is not going to grow up in an environment where his mother or he is being abused, especially with your sister applying for a restraining order.

    Does your sister live close to you, can she come visit you or the other way around often? It's alot harder to feel like you're being supportive when you don't have the ability to hug / hold the person who needs it.

    I'm afraid that's really all you can do for her, I've had friends, relatives and been in her predicament (or something close to it anyway) and that will mean more to her then anything else.

  3. #3
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Lilly
    Wow OEC, it's tough to know what to say in this situation because I know no matter what I say it's not going to change how his actions make you feel.

    There are some good points to this though :
    1) Your sister left the bastard (no offence to those born out of wedlock intended) that is something to be proud of, she's obviously a very strong lady.

    2) Your nephew is not going to grow up in an environment where his mother or he is being abused, especially with your sister applying for a restraining order.

    Does your sister live close to you, can she come visit you or the other way around often? It's alot harder to feel like you're being supportive when you don't have the ability to hug / hold the person who needs it.

    I'm afraid that's really all you can do for her, I've had friends, relatives and been in her predicament (or something close to it anyway) and that will mean more to her then anything else.
    I'm in Minnesota. She's in California. I just can't believe this is happening. My instinct is hovering around him at this point. "Anger management classes". Bullshit. He is what is he is. I'm moving back over Xmas. He better just stay away. I'll be the kid's father if I have to.

  4. #4
    mystoo's Avatar Pirate Hooker
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    I'm really sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing with my own parents. It's good that she left because being a kid and watching your father beat the snot out of your mother is pretty damaging.
    All the power to her! So many people in those types of situations are afraid to leave for whatever reason.

  5. #5
    Amelia G's Avatar chick in charge
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Wow, that really sucks. Much sympathy, OEC.

    It may be good to be far away, as courts tend to frown on vigilante justice, but it must be so frustrating for you too.

    Good for your sister that she got the hell out of there.

  6. #6
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Amelia G
    Wow, that really sucks. Much sympathy, OEC.

    It may be good to be far away, as courts tend to frown on vigilante justice, but it must be so frustrating for you too.

    Good for your sister that she got the hell out of there.
    Wasn't threatening him. I think he's pretty well fucked from what I've heard.

    OEC

  7. #7
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by mystoo
    I'm really sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing with my own parents. It's good that she left because being a kid and watching your father beat the snot out of your mother is pretty damaging.
    All the power to her! So many people in those types of situations are afraid to leave for whatever reason.
    She got out pretty quickly. I'm still kind of shocked really.

    OEC

  8. #8
    Mr Karl's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    just hope her lawyers better than his

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Aww... dude my heart goes out to you... and your family.

    Karma's a bitch, he'll get what's coming to him. Was there a pre-nup? if not... I hope she cleans him out. He has no right to hit her.

  10. #10
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    VERY much sympathy, OEC.

    And yeah. If she can prove spousal abuse, he is fucked.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    As he should be.
    Violence is such a hard thing to get over, and live thru

  12. #12

    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    OEC, that is awful.
    do all you can to make sure she continues to see the light, and doesn't get back with him/give him another chance, no matter how sorry he is/learned his lesson/never do it again.

  13. #13
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Thanks for all the well-wishes. He's currently attending "anger management classes" by his own volition. There is a restraining order. He seems contrite, but a divorce is now pending. I'm at peace with it, but it's been a huge disappointment for all of us. All I can really say. Hopefully, I can be a good Uncle to the baby.

    OEC

  14. #14
    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    that's the thing about people that beat up the people they care about, usually they really do care about the people that they are beating up, and they don't think that they are doing anything wrong. that makes it very hard for them to change.

    that wasn't meant as a defense of the guy or his actions, because there is none. I'm just saying he could change because society and other people tell him his actions are wrong and he may come to realize that is what he should do, but he many never really believe it.

  15. #15
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Glory
    that's the thing about people that beat up the people they care about, usually they really do care about the people that they are beating up, and they don't think that they are doing anything wrong. that makes it very hard for them to change.

    that wasn't meant as a defense of the guy or his actions, because there is none. I'm just saying he could change because society and other people tell him his actions are wrong and he may come to realize that is what he should do, but he many never really believe it.
    I understand what you're saying. I do hope he gets the help he needs. Anger turned to having to accept and deal with the new situation quickly. My nephew is his son. He needs to change for the sake of his kid. I'll be back in California soon. I am still simply my nephew's Uncle. My responsibilities will be heightened, but I have to accept the totality here.

    OEC

  16. #16
    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    It's just a good thing that your sister has you to rely on.

  17. #17
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Spousal Abuse

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Glory
    It's just a good thing that your sister has you to rely on.
    Thanks.

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