Tales From The Barricade

[Morning Glory]

good thing the guard didn't say "yes, I know who you are, I downloaded your songs off of Napster."

[jonny.illuminati]

lame pampered rock stars, and lame rent-a-cops that get a hard on for pushing people around. I think I'll do without either.

lame pampered hollywood famous folks... sure

lame rent a cops? no need for that... people just doing their jobs, i for one do not get a hard on pushing people around... I liked the $50.00 to $75.00 an hour I was getting (plus extra for a no-incident night). The VIP door is a delicate dance and believe me the last thing you want to do is put your hands on someone that has a large (or large contingent) of bodyguards...

[jonny.illuminati]

Ah, my apologies. If she was deliberately left off the list (as opposed to folks didn't realize she was showing up or the way her name was listed etc.), then that is a whole nother situation. Seems like Snoop's people could have told her people beforehand if they didn't want her there, but I guess there are divas who would still show up under those circumstances.

Does this mean if Ed and I show up for a Blue Blood event my name will be on the list? Or am I going to get a polite... "I'm sorry mr. illuminati... your name doesn't seem to be on the list..."

ME: "I'm on the list... what's the problem dude?"

THEM: "I'm sorry Sir, your name isn't here..."

ME: "Well check again, there is some mistake... I'm Amelia's cousin"

THEM: "Actually Sir we have explicit instructions... no one by the name of jonny illuminati, jonny, or illuminati is allowed... period... we're professionals you know, just doing our job"

ME: "Damn that Blue Blood Community.... I knew no good would come from posting there..."

[Amelia G]

Given that message #1 was about as homophobic as the average powerlifting gym locker room, I felt entitled to some artistic license.

I think wires got crossed. This was not about her not being ABLE to buy a ticket, but not WANTING to.

Of course she has her own money, but the man she married is well connected is my point. I was more suggesting that if she did not WANT to pay for a ticket with her own money, not only does her man have connections in the rap world (after all, she's more an actress and R&B type singer than rapper) but is president of a label for Christ's sake. You mean to tell me that someone somewhere wouldn't want to get on Jay-Z's good side?

Uhm, honestly, thinking about it, although Jay-Z (East Coast) exercised restraint in not releasing his already-recorded Tupac dis track after the shooting and Snoop Dogg (West Coast) has publicly denounced coastal feuding in hip hop . . . well, it is more likely that Beyonce could have gotten in on the list with her own power and cred far better than she could once she hooked up with Jay-Z. And you did put it in terms of she could afford it because her man is paid or important, not because she is in her own right. Beyonce's career did not exactly start when she got with Jay-Z.

I could be mistaken, but I think Rockwulf was using rude language some of which was of a sort which would not be my choice, but he usually does it in a funny way and, in this instance, I don't think he was actually making the homophobic assertion that men who have sex with men generally prefer John Mayer music.

I know you mean well and that is more than half what matters, but I think you sometimes don't entirely think about what you are asserting about the opposite sex.

[Amelia G]

Does this mean if Ed and I show up for a Blue Blood event my name will be on the list? Or am I going to get a polite... "I'm sorry mr. illuminati... your name doesn't seem to be on the list..."

ME: "I'm on the list... what's the problem dude?"

THEM: "I'm sorry Sir, your name isn't here..."

ME: "Well check again, there is some mistake... I'm Amelia's cousin"

THEM: "Actually Sir we have explicit instructions... no one by the name of jonny illuminati, jonny, or illuminati is allowed... period... we're professionals you know, just doing our job"

ME: "Damn that Blue Blood Community.... I knew no good would come from posting there..."

Nah, I want you inside before doors, in case I need anybody shot. Quietly, expertly, and professionally of course.

[Morning Glory]

Isn't the Illuminati everywhere already?

[jonny.illuminati]

Nah, I want you inside before doors, in case I need anybody shot. Quietly, expertly, and professionally of course.

Thank God... Truth is I prefer to "go to" things more than "work" them now... but it is hard to enjoy myself... to many years working... so usually my friends that are promoting/hosting things just get me in and I work for free...

[Amelia G]

I saw Lars from Metallica get turned away at a show once because he wasn't on the guest list in San Fran (Maritime Hall Place). He kept saying " DONT YOU FUCKING KNOW WHO I AM?!"

And the bouncer just kept saying "Yes, but if your not on the list, the headliner doesn't want you here..Sorry. The only way you'll get in is if you buy a ticket"

He left after that. I don't remember who was headlining at the time though..this was back in '99.

This is exactly why it is a big deal that security get things right dealing with VIPs. Maybe Lars from Metallica should have been on the list, maybe he assumed the bands would want him to get the red carpet treatment if he happened to drop in, or maybe he was just being a dick. In his case, I think the guys in Metallica are dicks. Partly, I liked some of Master of Puppets but haven't liked dickall they have done since and I thought their whole jihad against Kip Winger really sucked. Metallica had way more cash than Winger and they tried to make like they were men of the people by dissing Winger for being too rich and famous and it was just manipulative assholery on Metallica's part.

Regardless, there was a show Lars did not get on the guest list for nearly a decade ago and total strangers are still mocking him for it. That is a lot of pressure for somebody to be under when they just want to go out on the town. Most famous people do not get paid nearly enough for being famous for that to be particularly bearable and it is a major component in celeb (and minor celeb i.e. club kid, locally known folks, etc.) breakdowns.

[Bikerpunk]

And you did put it in terms of she could afford it because her man is paid or important, not because she is in her own right.

Then it came out wrong, cause obviously the woman has tons of cash, she's a megastar in her own right. I had no idea about the whole east/west coast thing. I barely understood what you were saying re: rap tracks - to me it's a bunch of near illiterates talking about raping women and committing crime over metronome tracks. (exaggeration to make a point)

[One Eyed Cat]

This is exactly why it is a big deal that security get things right dealing with VIPs. Maybe Lars from Metallica should have been on the list, maybe he assumed the bands would want him to get the red carpet treatment if he happened to drop in, or maybe he was just being a dick. In his case, I think the guys in Metallica are dicks. Partly, I liked some of Master of Puppets but haven't liked dickall they have done since and I thought their whole jihad against Kip Winger really sucked. Metallica had way more cash than Winger and they tried to make like they were men of the people by dissing Winger for being too rich and famous and it was just manipulative assholery on Metallica's part.

Regardless, there was a show Lars did not get on the guest list for nearly a decade ago and total strangers are still mocking him for it. That is a lot of pressure for somebody to be under when they just want to go out on the town. Most famous people do not get paid nearly enough for being famous for that to be particularly bearable and it is a major component in celeb (and minor celeb i.e. club kid, locally known folks, etc.) breakdowns.

They have breakdowns due to not being on the list? I can actually believe that these days. It really isn't rocket science. You have several hours before a show for most gigs. Call the artist (if you don't go down early) and have him/her/management call or tell the venue. It's not *that* big of a deal.

[Morning Glory]

east coast vs. west coast is stupid. I'm almost positive that it, along with 90% of the gangster image in rap is a marketing ploy.

the only thing worse than crappy stereotypical rap is people who think that all rap is that way.

Really my point in this thread is that people take everything so fucking seriously, especially the things that should not be at all, like people going out and having fun, to the point where no one is ever able to go out and have fun. that's just stupid.

life is short, then you die,
so put on some Creedence and let's get high.

[Bikerpunk]

Lars is a whiny ass punk anyway.

Makes me laugh that he bitches about Napster and wants to sneak into a show for free. They should have lectured him about the economics of touring and pointed out that he sold the artworks he collected through Christie's for a considerable sum and can afford it.

And then pointed out that St. Anger sucks, learn how to tune a snare drum, and while you're at it, learn some more interesting fills.

[One Eyed Cat]

east coast vs. west coast is stupid. I'm almost positive that it, along with 90% of the gangster image in rap is a marketing ploy.

the only thing worse than crappy stereotypical rap is people who think that all rap is that way.

Really my point in this thread is that people take everything so fucking seriously, especially the things that should not be at all, like people going out and having fun, to the point where no one is ever able to go out and have fun. that's just stupid.

life is short, then you die,
so put on some Creedence and let's get high.

They take themselves too seriously when they pull that shit. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that for the most part.

[Bikerpunk]

And before we get into the subject of "rap doesn't suck you're just listening to the wrong stuff" I work with someone who promotes one of these "tribes of Quest" or whatever "intelligent thoughtful rap" groups about five people listen to. Heard it, fair enough, but that would be like suggesting buttrock isn't the realm of arrested adolescent development because of some obscure band noone ever heard of.

I'll quote a popular song - Jigglin', by the Ying Yang Twins (a name that's akin to Rosie O'Donnell's "Ching Chong, Ching Ching Chong" comment"

Ass jiggle, jigglin
A-a-a A-a-a-ass jiggle, jigglin
A-a-a A-a-a-ass jiggle, jigglin
Ass jiggle jigglin
Ass jiggle jigglin
Mother fuckin wigglin
Mother fuck Mo-mo mother fuck mo-mo motherfuck
Mo-mo-motherfuck
Ass jiggle jigglin
Ass jiggle jigglin
Mother fuckin wigglin

Later on we get such wonderful insights into the human condition as

Make hah lef' cheek drop
An hah right cheek drop
Den roll roll roll roll roll dat rump

and the charmingly poetic

"Make hah pussy poot (break wind) if ya wan dat loot"

The same band came out with another popular song whose lyrics go, and I quote

Wait'll ya see my dick
Wait'll ya see my dick, hey bitch
Wait'll ya see my dick
AH MO BEAT DAT PUSSY UP

I'll listen to KRS-ONE and Super Rhymes, or even the goofy House of Pain (Don't be after me lucky charms, yo!) but I think I have more self-respect than to listen to dreck pumped out by misogynist assholes with the sexual sophistication of a donkey.

[Bikerpunk]

Holy shit, that last post made me sound like Millie Tant the no fun feminist.

Don't get me wrong, I like to see breasts and the beautiful curve of the female buttocks as much as the next man, but there's a difference between "I really like the last set you came out with - it's hot and really shows off your wonderful skin" and *bangs cock against computer screen* EY BITCH SHOW ME DA TITS BITCH and not just in the way it's expressed.

And I don't fuck like Hugh Grant either, sitting there stammering asking you to p-p-please if i-i-it wo-wouldn't be t-too much much trouble to pass the v-v-v-v-v-vagina, please. I can make use of my size, girth and bodyweight when it counts. Something to be said for strong glutes and hip flexors, as well as the savvy to know how to use a gravity drop at the right angle combined with the above to put the right kind of english into the game at the right time. But once again, there's saying and doing that at the appropriate time with a *devilish twinkle*
and saying "I'm a ride you still your calf bed falls out, WHORE"

[jonny.illuminati]

life is short, then you die,
so put on some Creedence and let's get high.

i second that motion! fought in a few wars (public and private) didn't get to always "have another beer" with a few friends, not everyone came home....

life is short

classic rock, cheap beer, friends, and a comfortable chair to sit in...

[Morning Glory]

I don't necessarily mean that literally, but I'm glad that you can appreciate the sentiment.

[jonny.illuminati]

I don't necessarily mean that literally, but I'm glad that you can appreciate the sentiment.

i was highlighting the fact that for some folks it's sentiment, and for a few it's reality... man am i glad that i retired...

sentiment/figurative/literal... more people should work at relaxing and getting along with the world around them...

[Morning Glory]

I meant the getting high part was not to be taken literally. but if you want to, that's cool by me.

[jonny.illuminati]

I meant the getting high part was not to be taken literally. but if you want to, that's cool by me.

ahhh.... ooops.... actually not my thing either

[Amelia G]

They have breakdowns due to not being on the list? I can actually believe that these days. It really isn't rocket science. You have several hours before a show for most gigs. Call the artist (if you don't go down early) and have him/her/management call or tell the venue. It's not *that* big of a deal.

Not over whether or not they are on the list, but over the fact that they are subject to ridicule over what would be a very minor event for someone else.

[Amelia G]

east coast vs. west coast is stupid. I'm almost positive that it, along with 90% of the gangster image in rap is a marketing ploy.

the only thing worse than crappy stereotypical rap is people who think that all rap is that way.

Really my point in this thread is that people take everything so fucking seriously, especially the things that should not be at all, like people going out and having fun, to the point where no one is ever able to go out and have fun. that's just stupid.

life is short, then you die,
so put on some Creedence and let's get high.

Definitely on the stupid. Probably on the marketing ploy, but marketing doesn't necessarily equal insincere.

True, although I admit to listening to some fairly pop gangsta rap for pleasure.

And, deepy true on what the point of it all ought to be

[One Eyed Cat]

Not over whether or not they are on the list, but over the fact that they are subject to ridicule over what would be a very minor event for someone else.

I see. Yeah, that is kind of ridiculous. Like I tell anyone who gets a bit known .... They'll build you up just to break you down. Nature of the beast. I won't even joke about that shit anymore. I believe it is even worse at a local level. If they are fighting over nickels and dimes, they seem to fight harder. I don't understand it, but I've seen it in several cities now where people ain't famouslike.

[Rockwulf]

I could be mistaken, but I think Rockwulf was using rude language some of which was of a sort which would not be my choice, but he usually does it in a funny way and, in this instance, I don't think he was actually making the homophobic assertion that men who have sex with men generally prefer John Mayer music.

Nah, no homophobic assertions here. I just like the illiteration of "faggot frat-boy" and "fucking faggot". Plus in practical use, the word faggot is so tabboo these days that just throwing it into someones face is enough to make them back down.

[Bikerpunk]

Nah, no homophobic assertions here. I just like the illiteration of "faggot frat-boy" and "fucking faggot". Plus in practical use, the word faggot is so tabboo these days that just throwing it into someones face is enough to make them back down.

Well, I'm glad you clarified that.

Sometimes it's three assholes in a pickup with a tire iron. There's a reason I'm large and strong these days.

[Rockwulf]

Yeah I got no problem with actual homosexuals.

[Bikerpunk]

I figured that already, Rock.

Don't mind my issues with the whole trip.

[VoldtaEngler]

Regardless, there was a show Lars did not get on the guest list for nearly a decade ago and total strangers are still mocking him for it. That is a lot of pressure for somebody to be under when they just want to go out on the town. Most famous people do not get paid nearly enough for being famous for that to be particularly bearable and it is a major component in celeb (and minor celeb i.e. club kid, locally known folks, etc.) breakdowns.

Oh, I wasn't mocking him at all if that's the way I came off. I kinda forgot about it until now, but figured I'd add another "experiance" to the post here..

[jonny.illuminati]

Nah, I want you inside before doors, in case I need anybody shot. Quietly, expertly, and professionally of course.

BTW: You and Forrest get me for free next big event... everybody looks better with a guy in a suit hovering nearby... just tell me what color suit (as long as it's black) and what kind of sunglasses...