what is the best christmas weapon to attack someone with?

[karyn]

from usa today

Man wielding candy cane lawn ornament subdues attacker

SACRAMENTO (AP) — A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home.

Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong says the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He says the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

He cut several peoples' clothing before one of them decided to fight back.

Police say the man with the knife was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. The guest who took up the candy cane was not arrested because police determined he acted in self-defense.

[ForrestBlack]

A snow blower might work well.

[VoldtaEngler]

...and they call him Sandy...CLLLLAAAWWSSS....

[Mr Karl]

A snow blower might work well.

nah, terrible weapon

[Bikerpunk]

A snow blower might work well.

You are one sick fuck.

RIGHT ON.

(I'm thinking Frosty the Snowman meets Dead Alive)

[ForrestBlack]

I was thinking Fargo... portable.

[Buster Friendly]

pretty sure that was a wood chipper dude.

but it might work okay I suppose.

I would go for one of those heavy thick as arm sized candy canes myself. They're nice, and heavy. One use only, it would shatter on impact, but it's heavy enough to cause a concussion possibly. It would be funny though.

[Bondage Clown]

I always thought the chainsaw with the Christmas tree sap still wet was a fine weapon, or the Christmas tree lights used a garrote... But my all time favorite weapon would have to bee the FRUITCAKE!

[Rockwulf]

Nah, you take a regular candy cane and suck on it until it becomes pointy as hell. That's when you start shanking elves.

[Velvet-Tongue]

rofl wow.

In our rapier fencing I've been thinking about using the same thing for an off-hand parry weapon.

[Head Wreck]

tied to a chair in sanatas groto and subjected to 48 hours of the same cheezy 70's christmas songs on repeat

[Mr Karl]

use an icicle..................weapon disappears

[inox]

Use the star from the top of the tree.

[Mr Karl]

I was thinking Fargo... portable.

I think you'd jam a snowblower with a body


snowblowers are for pussies..................real men use a tiger torch

[Mainline_Iodine]

Those old style Christmas tree stands seem like they would work pretty well.

Then again, the bad boy's stocking full of coal would be rather fitting as well.

[Tigerlily]

use an icicle..................weapon disappears

good thinkin'

[OliX]

Monster dildo disguised into a candy cane.

[homicidal_kiss]

Nah, you take a regular candy cane and suck on it until it becomes pointy as hell. That's when you start shanking elves.

haha. i hate when candy canes get pointy. they hurt my tongue!

[Rockwulf]

haha. i hate when candy canes get pointy. they hurt my tongue!

You're supposed to lick the sides. Not jam the point into your tongue.

[homicidal_kiss]

You're supposed to lick the sides. Not jam the point into your tongue.

ooooooohhhhh...dang. my bad.

ditzy natural blonde-ness strikes again!

[LeilaHazlett]

Pft. Everyone knows an icicle is the best weapon. The evidence just melts!

[Aza]

Given how many people are killed in car accidents or trampled to death in malls between Black Friday and Christmas Eve, it could conceivably be argued that the Holiday season itself is already a weapon of mass destruction.

Still, I'm personally fond of those multi-pointed Moravian Stars that people (including my parents) hang from their porch lights in December. Grab and throw for a perforating ranged attack, or add a handle for an instant mace!

Let's hear it for peace on Earth and and goodwill toward men!

[jonny.illuminati]

best holiday weapon...

black friday stampedes....

fucking ridiculous that someone was killed in a shopping stampede....

people are fucking animals!

[Raza]

Seasonal Attack Pea?

[aXa]

how about santa himself?

[ForrestBlack]

You could just choke someone with Christmas lights like BC suggested, and then just hang them off the roof. Everyone would think it was an accident.

[Amelia G]

You could just choke someone with Christmas lights like BC suggested, and then just hang them off the roof. Everyone would think it was an accident.

I guess, if we are going to discuss Xmas weapon attacks, it makes sense to have some good Xmas alibis as well.

[Bacchus88]

I am simple... an axe then to the snow blower

Happy Tree Friends... wonderful ideas, but so wrong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHiwTIBEENM

[Raza]

Happy Tree Friends... wonderful ideas, but so wrong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHiwTIBEENM

Hawt, too.

[Mr Karl]

what's with the snowblowers?....................it's way easier to beat someone to death with a snowshovel

[aXa]

what's with the snowblowers?....................it's way easier to beat someone to death with a snowshovel

oww, don't remind me. i took the butt end of a snowshovel in the eye last year. was very unpleasant.

[spyinxxx]

oh oh oh i got it a red hot fire poker blunt force trama with burns any1 then you probly burn the body afterwards un the fireplace dont mind the smell folks its just my roomate eddy, eddy ash...

[Rockwulf]

Guilt.

[Amelia G]

Guilt.

Too traditional.

[Dusk]

Christmas baubles, filled with gunpowder.

[Velvet-Tongue]

Christmas tree light garout.

Also it scares the fuck out of me that Raza probably busted big nuts to that picture.