Enter the master of bad first impressions...

[nathanmbailey]

But then again, this one might be good seeing as I'm not around those scary normal people.

So let me start off by asking a question. Have you ever been in a Denny's on Sunday morning when some overly tattooed asshole comes stumbling in with his beat up piece of shit truck double parked and he still smells of alcohol because he is actually just leaving the bar because he slept in the bed of the truck to avoid a DUI? Then he sits down, orders some gawd-awful huge greasy monstrosity of a breakfast (quite possibly a double bacon cheeseburger on french toast instead of a bun, with syrup and a side of eggs) with a milk shake? If you answered yes, you've probably been to the Denny's outside of Fort Hood, Texas after I got done spending my paycheck on tattoos and alcohol. Oh, and uh, sorry about puking on or around your car afterward, it was a lot of greasy food...

If you haven't noticed, I get side tracked easily. I haven't even actually said my name yet. So, with that, my name is Nathan Bailey. You can call me whatever the fuck you want, I answer to and ignore just about anything. I'm originally from Chesterton, Indiana (that's near Gary, props to me for living near a former murder capital of the world) which happens to be the hometown of Jim Gaffigan, if any of you follow his comedy/acting career. Right now though I'm in the Army, working on just about 4 years of my 6 year contract. It sucks. The assholes don't let me have piercings and bitched every time I got a new tattoo. Something about it not looking professional or something. Whatever, I just fix helicopters. I'm stuck in the "General Support Aviation Battalion" of 4th Infantry Division's so wonderful "Combat Aviation Brigade" (yeah, supposedly someone high up is taking credit for capturing Sadam, and we're the ones that transported him). Normally I'm causing people's faces to scrunch up into a dirty look in the Fort Hood/Dallas/Austin area, but I'm in Iraq again. On a good point, I am halfway through this deployment.

Wow, I rambled again. Sorry................

As far as I go, I'm just heavily tattooed. I'm currently using a public computer because the internet in the rooms decided to take a shit, so when they fix it I will attempt to put up photos of my tattoos somewhere I can show them to yous guys. But the short rundown, my right arm is tributed to classic horror movies (Amnityville Horror, The Shining, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, It, Exorcist, The Omen, and I threw in the Strangers from Dark City), my left arm is a bunch of dragons, and the rest of my body is pretty random. My favorites though are the gargoyle perched on Celtic knotwork with fallen castle wall stones around it (part of a back piece in progress), the crimson rose in my right armpit, the freedom butterfly with bubblegum pink wings in my left armpit, the Celtic knotwork skull on my right kneecap, the smoking skull on my left kneecap, and a pin-up girl made of tribal on my left side. Again, I'll see what I can do to supply pictures.

I don't have any piercings... anymore. I had my nipples done and a tongue ring because I could hide them in uniform, but I got in trouble off post and they noticed the tongue ring so I had to take everything out. I will be getting my nipples pierced for the third fucking time (yeah, ouch) once I get out and have some other interesting ideas. I'm actually looking into getting an apprenticeship for piercing when I get back to the states, depending on how long I actually stay there this time.

I think that's enough, if you gots any questions, just ask. You people get to be the escape from sanity, so THAAAAAAAAAAAANK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

[VoldtaEngler]

Everytime I go to Chicago I pass through Gary. It's a shithole amongst shitholes.
The only place I know where I can get rich at the casino boats that are floating in factory sludge. Welcome to BB. At ease.

[Jax]

Tattooed boy in military uniform....

Oh my.

[nathanmbailey]

Best thing about the Army, I was given camo pants to rip up for when I manage to go to concerts! Nothing like being issued punk rock clothes.

[jonny.illuminati]

welcome....

i'm an army guy myself... well retired now... managed to keep my piercings hidden, but then where i was... no one was looking...

i rode in a lot of helicopters, always glad when they didn't crash... (only crashed in one... mechanical failure due to RPG...)

anyway... good to have another brother here online

[karyn]

welcome. i hate dennys so anyone who pukes near one while avoiding jail time is good in my book.

[Buster Friendly]

bad first impressions?

do you shop at 123456?

are you here to astroturf your website, or somebody else's website?

no?

then you're beautiful to us baby.

welcome.

[Bacchus88]

no, your no where close my friend... I believe take that title....
your ok.. and welcome

[Morning Glory]

Tattooed boy in military uniform....

Oh my.

are you kidding? all of these pricks have em. it's practically a requirement for enlisting: some macho bullshit motto on your right arm: "born to kill, semper fi" check. your sister/girlfreinds name on your left arm: check. the state of texas on your ass. check. you're good to go get shot for your country, and god bless you.

[jonny.illuminati]

are you kidding? all of these pricks have em. it's practically a requirement for enlisting: some macho bullshit motto on your right arm: "born to kill, semper fi" check. your sister/girlfreinds name on your left arm: check. the state of texas on your ass. check. you're good to go get shot for your country, and god bless you. keep em coming, the more of these motherfuckers that are getting blown up, the better.

really? or is this morning sarcasm?

[Morning Glory]

a little from column A, a little from column B.

a lot of really fucking stupid people have a lot of really fucking stupid tattoos. No one knows why. it's just one of life's mysteries, like Stonehenge. Just a general observation, and I usually hear it most from friend's of mine that are in the military.

that wasn't really meant as a dog on the OP. his horror movie tattoos sound pretty cool.

[jonny.illuminati]

a little from column A, a little from column B.

a lot of really fucking stupid people have a lot of really fucking stupid tattoos. No one knows why. it's just one of life's mysteries, like Stonehenge.

true... actually now i'm laughing!

i was out for a bit of guinness last night in LA and i realized i was surrounded by the new breed "UberDouche"... ed hardy t shirts and bad tattoos... none of them actually man enough to serve their country...

it takes a certain kind of man... or a dumbass with tattoos to serve...

i pick column A

[SyntheticShock]

Hello Nathan! A bit of rambling is always nice now and again, so post away.

[soma_stardust]

bad first impressions?

do you shop at 123456?

are you here to astroturf your website, or somebody else's website?

no?

then you're beautiful to us baby.

welcome.

hi and welcome!
you made a good enough impression on me....
i wanna see pics, your ink sounds radtastic.

[nathanmbailey]

Yeah, well the internet in the rooms is still dead. They shall come... eventually.

So yeah, a lot of dumb fucks with dumb fuck tattoos in the military. I can't even count the number of variations of 'tard I've now seen. But, I'm not that whole typical macho soldier guy, actually if you want to get technical, I'm a horrible soldier, just a really good technician. I'm actually doing my best to avoid getting promoted. It's awesome! Yeah though, most of the ones I see girlfriend/wife's names and those wonderful "I got that when I was drunk" crap. Luckily I have no Army tats, though my friend stole my idea. It was a monkey fucking a football, but the monkey is wearing an old school kevlar helmet. But now I think I'm going to wait 'til I get out and get a tattoo of Kalvin pissing on my unit patch because this place sucks!

Oh, and Johnny, it's a whole new army nowadays. And I have actually seen an RPG hit a chinook. Miraculously, the thing didn't explode, went right up through the ramp, missed the transmission, went back out the top and not get hit by the blades spinning. I think I left a dent in the concrete from my jaw hitting it.

[Morning Glory]

And I have actually seen an RPG hit a chinook. Miraculously, the thing didn't explode, went right up through the ramp, missed the transmission, went back out the top and not get hit by the blades spinning. I think I left a dent in the concrete from my jaw hitting it.

sounds like something out of Red Dawn. have you seen that movie? I love that movie.

[Mr Karl]

hello

fixing helicopters................that's kind of intense. I hope you get some respect for doing that job

[Jax]

are you kidding? all of these pricks have em. it's practically a requirement for enlisting: some macho bullshit motto on your right arm: "born to kill, semper fi" check. your sister/girlfreinds name on your left arm: check. the state of texas on your ass. check. you're good to go get shot for your country, and god bless you.

"heavily" and "overly" tattooed gives me a much different picture than some dude with a motto , state, and chicks name on you.

Then again, when people say they are heavily tattooed, and I actually see them, I kinda snicker. Im more tattooed than a majority of those who say it.

But the image I get in my head from the description, is very yummy.

[Morning Glory]

when I think of heavily tattooed I picture this guy I used to know that had a solid black sleeve coverup.

I feel really wierd about ass tattoos. like they are Ok if they are part of a huge back piece or body suit, but otherwise, I just think, who really wants to handle your sweaty bleeding ass for a couple hours? and for some guys, having to shave that shit. no thanks.

[Jax]

Lol! Ass tattoos are weird. I find about 99% of them amusing.

[nathanmbailey]

Well, I'll put it this way. I'm heavily tattooed for where I come from and the military. Hell, the army's the only ones that would even put up with me...

Oh, and I pre-shave my ass for those special tattooing occasions... I mean, you know, if I got drunk enough to tattoo my ass. Maybe a nice Exit Only sign? Or gerbal tracks, black ones heading in and brown coming out...

[soma_stardust]

Well, I'll put it this way. I'm heavily tattooed for where I come from and the military. Hell, the army's the only ones that would even put up with me...

Oh, and I pre-shave my ass for those special tattooing occasions... I mean, you know, if I got drunk enough to tattoo my ass. Maybe a nice Exit Only sign? Or gerbal tracks, black ones heading in and brown coming out...

you're fucked up. i like you XD

[nathanmbailey]

Awwww something told me I'd feel home at these boards. Except better than home, like I was liked or something.

Oh, and I've only seen bits and pieces of Red Dawn. And being in aviation means I don't ever leave the FOB, except on a helicopter to go somewhere else. We're not really popular with those combat guys, I think it's jealousy. Or maybe they're mad because we drop their asses off and fly away. And they never wave back. Assholes.

[jonny.illuminati]

Awwww something told me I'd feel home at these boards. Except better than home, like I was liked or something.

Oh, and I've only seen bits and pieces of Red Dawn. And being in aviation means I don't ever leave the FOB, except on a helicopter to go somewhere else. We're not really popular with those combat guys, I think it's jealousy. Or maybe they're mad because we drop their asses off and fly away. And they never wave back. Assholes.

i always liked my FOBBIT aviation guys... we kept our pilots and crews (including ground/mechanics) in a good supply of Jack old no. 7...

always wanted to make sure they would come back and get us... especially after we had stirred up a hornets nest in some shit hole outside of Yussafiah....

you still there? if so keep your head down and let me know if there is anything you need sent your way...

[nathanmbailey]

Yeah, I'll be here until at least June. We're slotted for a 15 monther but there's a lot of signs saying 12. Worst case scenario, I have three more months of tax free pay and an extra grand each of those months. Unfortunately, they're really strict about this whole no alcohol or fun policy they've got going on. Oh, but they might let us have 2 real beers during the Super Bowl. So big thumbs up to that (and yes, that was meant to be sarcastic)

Anyway, I've already got boxes of shit backed up from what my friends and family have sent me. Other than good snacks, I've got everything else available fairly easily, and the cigarettes are WAY better than they were last time. And they're usually in stock. That reminds me, I need to pick some more up. Anyway, thanks for the offer, but I'm good on this end.

[jonny.illuminati]

Yeah, I'll be here until at least June. We're slotted for a 15 monther but there's a lot of signs saying 12. Worst case scenario, I have three more months of tax free pay and an extra grand each of those months. Unfortunately, they're really strict about this whole no alcohol or fun policy they've got going on. Oh, but they might let us have 2 real beers during the Super Bowl. So big thumbs up to that (and yes, that was meant to be sarcastic)

Anyway, I've already got boxes of shit backed up from what my friends and family have sent me. Other than good snacks, I've got everything else available fairly easily, and the cigarettes are WAY better than they were last time. And they're usually in stock. That reminds me, I need to pick some more up. Anyway, thanks for the offer, but I'm good on this end.

not a problem.... just checking

2 whole beers? nice...

i sometimes felt bad for the regular joes because we had a full bar in our compound... but i found out that with multiple nightly combat missons i was usually to tired to drink... and if i had any free time it was usually ruined by a surprise mission.... so i ended up not really drinking while i was there...

[nathanmbailey]

It's not so bad. This way when I get back it'll cost a lot less to get shit faced! At least the first couple nights. Damn my Irish blood and my naturally high tolerance that doesn't take long to regenerate.

[Morning Glory]

do they dictate what the beers can be? bring in two 40's and be like, what? these are my two beers.

I think i'd have fun in the army. I'd last about five minutes before I got a court marshal and a public flogging. do they really do that? my knowledge of the military pretty much consists of the films Starship troopers and In the Army Now, and of course the previously mentioned Red Dawn.

[nathanmbailey]

You know, I tried that once at Hood. They regulated how much alcohol we could have in the room per person of legal drinking age in a 2 man room. A 6-pack or a 5th of hard alcohol. So I got 6 40's of Mickeys and taped pieces of the Mickeys grenades packs together to make it into a 6-pack. I had to stand in front of my brigade's building in my dress uniform for an entire work day.

If you haven't noticed a pattern, I get in trouble a lot. Usually for being a smart ass.

[Buster Friendly]

All pumpkins are racist!

[Vexbeast]

Something about it not looking professional or something. Whatever, I just fix helicopters.

For a moment I'll be the kid I am and randomly mention that fixing helicopters is totally badass.

Best thing about the Army, I was given camo pants to rip up for when I manage to go to concerts! Nothing like being issued punk rock clothes.

Haha, that's cool too.

Welcome to the board.

[VoltaireBlue]

hey what's up? my bro is in kandahar(sp?) he comes home around the 13th of jan. I can't wait. this was his 2nd deployment.
welcome to bb.

[Morning Glory]

Tell him to watch out for the necronomicon.

[nathanmbailey]

Yay! I finally got myself an avatar! Yes, that is my armpit. And I grabbed an image off of one of those other social networking pages of mine to put up for a profile image. At least it's something. If they ever fix the internet in the trailers I'll be able to actually get some stuff online.

[soma_stardust]

that's awesome *-*

[mystoo]

Hi, since you can only have 2 beer I'll do you a favour and have a few for you tonight. Cheers.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Tell him to watch out for the necronomicon.

"I'll swallow your soul!"

[Morning Glory]

Yes, that is my armpit.

I don't think I could pull off shaving my pits every day. I'm no Michael Phelps. But hey, who is?

[funkatron]

From Chesterton, eh? I went to school in South Bend and live in Lafayette now.

Good to meet ya.

[nathanmbailey]

Yay another person from Indiana. Sucks Notre Dame is still sucking at football, but it seems they're doing pretty good in basketball. And Purdue too I think.