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Thread: Do you ever forget people are dead?

  1. #1
    Amelia G's Avatar chick in charge
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    Default Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I was just getting set to make some coffee, eggs, and bacon. I picked up the phone to chat while cooking, even though I'm not a big phone person. Mostly use it to talk to family. And I started to dial my grandmother's phone number. Only she has been dead for like five years now and the number I was starting to call hasn't been hers in a lot longer than that. Guess I really really needed that iced latte.

    I remember the Fathers Day after my father's father died, he started to shop for a gift in a window and then remembered his dad was dead.

    Do you ever forget people are dead?

  2. #2
    VoltaireBlue's Avatar just is
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    no.

  3. #3
    Nos's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I forget.

    When something really great has happened to me, I still pick up the phone to call either my friend or Grandma (both of which have been gone awhile.)
    I still dream about them too. And in my dreams I never remember they're dead.... in fact I get really excited and don't know why. Then when I wake up I remember.

    No one really knows what happens to us when are bodies check out. But I would like to think that when you have that old urge to call a dead loved one or your dreaming about them .... that they are thinking of you. Wherever they are.

  4. #4
    Nudemuse's Avatar Queen of all Fatassia.
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I do with a couple of people who've been dead for a over a decade now. Usually it's because I see something or find something that I know they'd love and I want to tell them.

  5. #5
    mystoo's Avatar Pirate Hooker
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I don't really know a lot of dead people. My grandparents and a few random people I went to high school with. I don't forget they're dead but I think about them alot and I wish they were still alive. My grandparents were the coolest.

  6. #6
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    No. I had one friend whose real name I never knew until reading it on his tombstone. The connection took some time to truly make. I never forget though. I think about them a lot still.

    OEC

  7. #7
    nathanmbailey's Avatar Batteries not included
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Nah, not really. Though I was arrested for a PI charge when a grounds-keeper found me sitting next to one of my best friend's headstone. She had died a couple months ago after an accidental drug overdose (she didn't even know he was taking it, some asshole kept putting shit in her drink and she ended up OD'ing). According the the police report I was drinking a bottle of whiskey and having a conversation. Although I think it was just because I was drunk, missed her, and wanted to say good-bye since I wasn't around when it happened. I didn't even know where she was buried, just woke up in a squad car outside the cemetery.

  8. #8
    Ajax Knucklebones's Avatar God fearing atheist
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Hell, I even think about my dog that died 20+ years ago.

  9. #9
    Janiac02's Avatar Opera Diva Extraordinaire
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I have woken in the middle of the night thinking I felt one of my cats who died snuggling up on me. Also, sometimes when I go to my grandma's house I expect my grandpa to be there, but he died about 8 years ago.

  10. #10
    Brigeyboo's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Yea, i do that with my cousin who died nearly a year ago (january 20th will be a year) at family events on holidays and such i'm always tempted to ask whether or not he'll be there but then i remember he died @_@

  11. #11
    homicidal_kiss's Avatar Random
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    i've never personally forgotten someone who was dead. i think it was because i was very close to all of them and they all died from diseases that slowly killed them...and it's hard to forget someone spending a year or two dying on chemo...especially when you see them every day. :/

  12. #12
    Janiac02's Avatar Opera Diva Extraordinaire
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by homicidal_kiss
    i've never personally forgotten someone who was dead. i think it was because i was very close to all of them and they all died from diseases that slowly killed them...and it's hard to forget someone spending a year or two dying on chemo...especially when you see them every day. :/
    I dunno, I watched my grandpa go through the various stages of cancer. Not daily, but I visited my grandparents often. I think every so often your memory just plays tricks on you. Well not everyone, obviously

  13. #13
    Bedlamite
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Mostly I forget about actors/personalities being dead. I haven't had alot of reliable people in my life, so even if they where living I didn't think of them as 'always being here'. Its possible that that general sense of being up in the air prevents me from forgetting relatives have passed. ^_^

  14. #14
    Evilbink's Avatar Sanctimonious Satyr
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Although I have only lost a few truely important people in my life there isnt a single one that I forget they are dead. I do however spend a bit of time wondering what they would be like now if they were still around.

  15. #15
    Pull~My~Hair's Avatar makes your life seem good
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    only my animals..Although even though I didn't get along with my grandma, i've really been missing her lately

  16. #16
    Aza's Avatar Extradimensional Penguin
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I only forget when it pertains to dead celebrities. With people I've known personally, I tend to remember more easily which plane of existence they currently occupy.

  17. #17
    Bedlamite
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by Evilbink
    Although I have only lost a few truely important people in my life there isnt a single one that I forget they are dead. I do however spend a bit of time wondering what they would be like now if they were still around.

    OMG! Hai thar!

  18. #18
    MistressJennifer's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I like to think that they are still around.... I swear, I have friends that haunt me... Kris definitely haunts me. And Delphine, another friend. Their posessions or photos sort of drop on the floor or appear. I also had an episode where I was at work and kept getting phone calls from my house. I ran home to see if someone was there. And no one was there... I believe that it was some kind of spirit contact...

    It is a bit more comforting to me to think that they are around and still here in a way...

  19. #19
    soma_stardust's Avatar ~soul-eating model~
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    sometimes...
    like...
    something happens... and i want to tell my mom. it's the first impulse i have. like my cousin's going to start teaching me to drive. and i have the impulse to call up my mom....
    but then that sickening feeling hits me right in the gut and i have to choke back the tears. (gone 9 months on the 15th....)
    i saw someone in the store yesterday who looked exactly like her from the back.....
    i won't even talk about my dreams.
    i keep her m-word page (she only had one so she could check up on me.) i post from hers to mine and mine to hers.... sometimes i feel like e-mailing her. i don't know if it would help or just start a downward slide into insanity.

  20. #20
    soma_stardust's Avatar ~soul-eating model~
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by MistressJennifer
    I like to think that they are still around.... I swear, I have friends that haunt me... Kris definitely haunts me. And Delphine, another friend. Their posessions or photos sort of drop on the floor or appear. I also had an episode where I was at work and kept getting phone calls from my house. I ran home to see if someone was there. And no one was there... I believe that it was some kind of spirit contact...

    It is a bit more comforting to me to think that they are around and still here in a way...
    my mom... is somewhere. she's not haunting me, but she's watching over me and my little brother. i know this. i know i could talk to her if i wanted but... i might end up in the psych ward again....
    the thing that hurts most is that it's a one-way conversation. i can't get a response. i did on samhain through tarot cards. i could try that again....
    i'm a lunatic

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    No.

    I know exactly who's alive, and who's dead.

    I keep a list.


  22. #22

    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    soma_stardust, I'm so sorry you lost your mom. You are not a lunatic. 9 months is hardly any time. You will never stop missing her but with time you will stop feeling crazy with sadness. I lost my dad 9 years ago after a long illness and it was hard - I was pretty much a crazy mess for quite a while. But you start to get yourself back with time. Also, I did feel his presence quite strongly on different occasions - I know he was watching over me like your mom is watching over you.

  23. #23
    Thistle Harlequin's Avatar Oldschool Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    i kinda forget people when they are alive...that they even exist is a better word..

    sometimes i hate people. and that's why

  24. #24

    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    But yeah, I'm with you there, Thistle.

  25. #25
    soma_stardust's Avatar ~soul-eating model~
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by Thistle Harlequin
    i kinda forget people when they are alive...that they even exist is a better word..

    sometimes i hate people. and that's why
    word.

    Quote Originally Posted by MsVulgaris
    soma_stardust, I'm so sorry you lost your mom. You are not a lunatic. 9 months is hardly any time. You will never stop missing her but with time you will stop feeling crazy with sadness. I lost my dad 9 years ago after a long illness and it was hard - I was pretty much a crazy mess for quite a while. But you start to get yourself back with time. Also, I did feel his presence quite strongly on different occasions - I know he was watching over me like your mom is watching over you.
    thanks.... it's so hard. my beast friend. my anchor. my only mother, my reason for living. god.... sometimes i just don't know what i'm doing without her in my life. it's absolutely impossible. one day she's complaining about my grandma.... a few days later, she's silent forever....
    FUCK GOD. the gods don't give a shit. that's what i learned. the angel of death promised to take care of her when she was taken... i set her free. it was my decision. mine. she brought me into the world and i saw her out of it. at least she's happier. i can be glad of that, at any rate. i still have to suffer this goddamn mortal existence. if i had it my way, my ashes would be lying in the river next to hers.... but then, i'd be in a hell dimension because i was promised if i committed suicide, it would not go well for me.
    i hate knowing people who know magic sometimes.
    i'm not crazy, i swear....
    *don't send me to the psych ward again*

  26. #26
    TheDeathKnight's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Yeah, I think it's natural to forget.

    If you are used to someone being around, and being alive, it becomes a natural thing to call them, or get them a gift, etc... Then you remember that they died. The death is just one day, one moment out of a lifetime of knowing them. So it just seems like a natural habit to think of them as alive, until you remember....

    And yeah, Soma, I think that it's just one of those things you probably won't ever completely get over. Each person is different. So there is never any way to replace anyone. So it's hard to ever be as truly happy or close to someone in the exact same way. Especially if they were close to you. I guess the best thing to realize is that you can develop close relationships with other people and even friends. It's just not the exact same thing. But you can develop a long history with people, just like you do with family. And it's also good to remember that death is a part of life. It happens to every person, every animal, etc. So the fact that people will die in your life is something you can't escape.

  27. #27
    MorningStar's Avatar Junior Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    No, I try not to. I still have names and numbers in my phone of friends who have passed over the past few years. I've also kept two as friends on other community websites. I just don't have the heart to delete them.

  28. #28
    soma_stardust's Avatar ~soul-eating model~
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by MorningStar
    No, I try not to. I still have names and numbers in my phone of friends who have passed over the past few years. I've also kept two as friends on other community websites. I just don't have the heart to delete them.
    yeah that. i'm sayin'.
    i have all sorts of my mom's crap... i have her old computer and for the life of me i can't delete a fucking thing. i even check her email once in a while. -_-
    i gave life to her gaia account and play games with her ******* account....
    i.want.her.back.
    *feels like alphonse and edward elrich from FMA*

  29. #29
    Extempus's Avatar Member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Can't say I've forgotten that someone has died. Doesn't mean I don't think about them, however (I think about a crush of mine who was murdered 17 years ago a lot. The cemetery she's buried in is less than a mile and a half from me, and the place she was murdered is a short distance from the road I commute to and from work on. And yes, they caught the killer a week later, he's never getting out of jail).

  30. #30

    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I'm with Thistle on this too. I can't imagine ever thinking "Hey, BlaBlaBla is alive, let's pick up the phone and go chat with them!". People drift out of my life now and then; I generally don't take much notice until they remind me by popping up again.

  31. #31

    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    No, but for awhile after my grandpa died I would have dreams with him in it, which was weird because I never had dreams of him before.

    Edited to add:

    Now that I think about it I have forgotten that people I used to know where dead, they were just people I was never really close to. I knew a girl who killed herself, but forgot about it for years until I found an old AIM conversation with my crazy ex-boyfriend who felt guilty about her death. It was a really surreal experience to remember something like that.

  32. #32
    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    sometimes, but the smell usually gives it away.

  33. #33

    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    You remember the little things when you care.

  34. #34
    toxicat's Avatar catty member
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Morning Glory, that was funny.
    No, I've experienced a lot of loss in my life, including a particularly traumatic one this Xmas, but I don't tend to forget...although lately my waking and dreaming life have been blending together in an inconvenient way.

  35. #35
    sunkarma's Avatar Evil666..reborn
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    I often forget my father is dead. Even though I have his ashes on my mantle..I think a part of me wants to believe he is still here with me. A part of him IS...but just not that part I can communicate with on a normal modality.

    My father had a massive heart attack in 2004 and it totally rocked my world. I was depressed for 2 years afterward (I was a daddies girl) and it very much has affected me to this day...so...I would say...although it is quite disturbing it makes me feel a bit warm..to still feel as if he is still around for me...because I forgot.

  36. #36
    and your little dog too
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    Default Re: Do you ever forget people are dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Glory
    sometimes, but the smell usually gives it away.
    thanks. that made me smile and i was feeling pissy and hating everything today

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