True Vampyrs...we do exist

[Ajax Knucklebones]

I'm Elmer J Fudd. I own a mansion and a yacht.

[malcolm]

I cannot believe this thread hasn't died yet.

~K

maybe the threads a vampire too

[DJ Bat]

You can believe you are fucking King Kong, but if you post about it on the internet, and I'm feeling froggy, I'll tell you why I think that's fucking lame.

That's pretty much the main sentiment here too - I grew up watching a shitton (I think that may be metric, not sure) of Monty Python - I'm talking when I was 5 or so, so I've been permanently damaged with a non-sequitor, cynical and what I feel can be a terribly funny humoristic view and consequently response to various forms of lunacy - especially on the internet.

Don't get me wrong, I'm right there proclaiming my insanity as well. I believe in ghosts, I think I'm in some way a vampyre, I would hope to be able to move things with my mind one day, I believe in reincarnation, I'll believe in higher powers when they show themselves and perform appropriate miracles and sorry, Chris Angel doesn't count, etc... and I take it all not very seriously which is I think the key here.

Now, IF these so called self-proclaimed vampires here are secretly laughing their heads off at all the banter they create, then I will up my props to them... only probably because I haven't done it first. I can be a stinky little bastard like that sometimes... mainly when I'm drunk... I blame the absinthe...

[Rockwulf]

Hmmmmmm....I like what you say here DJ Bat.....

Vampires, vampyres....when one is dealing with the general public one finds that the average can't/won't/doesn't want to deal with the off chance that vamps exist. I agree that when God/Jesus/YaHweh/Satan tap me on my shoulder I'll be more inclined to believe that exist.

I am not a vampire, btw...I am a writer of many things vampire. Here is what I know to be true based on my own personal experiences.

There are "psychic" vampires. Psi vamps-I only personally know one. It is kind of like a person who is able to work with energy....called it what you like. Chi, Qi, Kundalini, tantra. There are so many different forms of energy and the psi vamp can take, give and manipulate those forms. Physically I have been there and witnessed some wonderful and unique stuff.

Blood sucking vamps....hmmmm....well, there is a disorder that people who thirst for blood are known to have. No different than people who crave dirt, salt, sugar, etc. For posers, they think blood is necessary. I have yet to a real blood sucker. I have met many posers...especially on VR...it's amusing and kind of bizarre...ok, very bizarre.

A real vampire who might be of the blood sucking sort is most likely Strigoii and I doubt they would care to spend time online. Maybe one or 2 to keep up appearances....but, most likely not.

My personal beliefs were slightly altered after reading "Some Words with a Mummy" by Poe yesterday. Just the thought of vampires dating back to BC times, especially in Egypt changes my perspective, removing my thoughts of the legends of old Europe being the oldest. Egypt would be the oldest civilization to keep record, if at all. I plan on researching that.

But anyhow, that is just my perspective. Here is a poem I wrote recently for you entertainment.

Shakespears Grave

From whence you came, I know not
But here we are, in love’s embrace
And each day closer in true love’s knot
We find ourselves fulfilled with grace
And in your arms I wish to spend
Entranced within your vampiric powers
An eternity of loving days on end
Sharing this knowledge that is just ours.
Nor does any Shakespearean love compare
All those shadowed by this love
For Shakespeare turns in his grave, err
For never writing of such thereof.
But we know, you and I
What we are blessed to have now
A love so lofty it shames the sky
And in our hearts a solemn vow
c2008

Um, excuse me, but you seemed to have spelled "DUUUUUURRRRRRRHHHH" incorrectly.

[Rockwulf]

No, I meant the free blow jobs...but maybe you did, too?

What?






No!





Can't a guy just sit here with his dick in hole cut into a bucket and do a little free advertising without being all gay???




You judgmental bitch!

[malcolm]

wow, apparently snorting pepsi out yer nose hurts too. it aint jack daniles but it burns lol

[Rockwulf]

Christ people! Have you not yet learned? Don't read a Rockwulf post with a mouth/throat full of delicious beverage!

You're only asking for trouble.

And hell, BP, you're the last one I thought I'd be giving advice on swallowing to.....


HIYOOOOO!

[malcolm]

roflmao. atleast i had my keyboard tucked away.

[toxicat]

If you could choose, would you get a day job, a hand job, a nose job, a rim job, a paint job or a blow job on/for/in your bucket, and how much would it cost?

[DJ Bat]

Steel Job?



I have no idea what some of you tipsters' obsession is with guys getting their junk stuck in things, but it's borderline disturbing (just kidding, it's totally rad). But here goes: Xing, a 41-year old man, was wandering through LanTian park in Hong Kong late one night when he thought to himself, "I should stick my penis in a steel park bench, you know, for the Olympics." And that's what he did. Unfortunately, mid-coitus Xing realized he was stuck and called the police using his cell phone.

When police arrived, Xing was moaning in pain and stuck face down to the bench. They tried several penis-liberating options (including taking blood) before sawing the entire bench off and taking it to the hospital. 4 hours later Xing had his penis back, sans giant metal bench attachment. Good thing too, because doctors said one hour longer and they would have chopped his member off. Oh man, this reminds me of the time I made love to a hole in a tree during a camping trip. Hello woodpecker nest! Seriously, I pee out the side of my penis now.

And now back to Vampires:


..................VAMPIRE PENIS!...................

(ok just kidding, it's a vampire mole)

[Rockwulf]

If you could choose, would you get a day job, a hand job, a nose job, a rim job, a paint job or a blow job on/for/in your bucket, and how much would it cost?

I'll take a blowjob in my bucket and I won't charge you a dime.

[malcolm]

is it a kfc bucket?

[Rockwulf]

Extra tasty crispy, bet your ass.

[malcolm]

Whiping up a graphic. two seconds....damn dinosaur internet.....

[Rockwulf]

Wouldn't be the big naked black guy wearing beach toys would it?

[malcolm]

lol no....that's in my personal collection silly. lol

[malcolm]

there ya go.

[Rockwulf]

Pay attention asshole! I said it was extra-tasty crispy, not original recipe...

Jesus...

[malcolm]

[Rockwulf]

C'mon man, if you're gonna fire up Photoshop, go for the gold:

[malcolm]

lol besides i use paintshop not photoshop

[malcolm]

yaknow, r.w, yuo're right and im sorry. i should go for the gold when doing the photos so i thought i'd fix yer bucket for ya and made sure it said extra tasty crispy just like ya said......

[DJ Bat]

Umm...

Come on guys...

I mean, this thread keeps getting real OT and I sort of would like it to stay OT OK?

I know although campy at times, it still is a thread about vampires and what not so come on, keep it focused and make sure your posts are relative...































...especially if you're gonna post a picture so I fixed it for you kthxbai!

[malcolm]

I screamed a little when i saw that. epic.

[toxicat]

C'mon man, if you're gonna fire up Photoshop, go for the gold:

Love. It.

[Rockwulf]

yaknow, r.w, yuo're right and im sorry. i should go for the gold when doing the photos so i thought i'd fix yer bucket for ya and made sure it said extra tasty crispy just like ya said......

WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!


HOLD THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE!!!!!!!










People PAY for Photoshop???

[Amelia G]

for FREE??!!!

[Ajax Knucklebones]

***People PAY for Photoshop???***

Hahaha!

[Dusk]

I got it.. for FREEEE

[Tigerlily]

what about hemophilia?

I think someone with hemophilia would be a perfect target for said vampires.
I don't know if hemophiliacs have strange cravings for certain things but I do know that it would suck to bleed a lot just over something small.

[malcolm]

WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!


HOLD THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE!!!!!!!










People PAY for Photoshop???

yaknow....come to think of it, i dont think i've ever met a person who has payed for photoshop. ofcourse with it's suggested retail around 600 bucks plus, not to mention the add ons, i wonder why.

so ya got me there. lol that was a pretty good touch up though,no?

[toxicat]

I know, and I was actually just taking the mickey out of myself but if someone wants to make it a gay thing, that's hokay.

[Amelia G]

yaknow....come to think of it, i dont think i've ever met a person who has payed for photoshop. ofcourse with it's suggested retail around 600 bucks plus, not to mention the add ons, i wonder why.

so ya got me there. lol that was a pretty good touch up though,no?

I have repeatedly paid for Photoshop.

[malcolm]

we talking money wise or we talking like in other ways Ms.G?

[toxicat]

say... I went on a street corner and declared myself Satan

I'm feeling froggy

Just read your post and smiled for the first time today at these lines (funeral last night)...

[Amelia G]

we talking money wise or we talking like in other ways Ms.G?

I'm talking the way where you pay for full versions of Photoshop and then you periodically pay for upgrades. Does Adobe accept trade?

[malcolm]

heck if i know lol i have vista. that stuff doesnt work so well on this programming.

but no i was asking in what way you meant because as popular as downloading stuff is off the internet including cracks for trial runs of photoshop and such,

sometimes people download viruses along with whatever they're trying to get for free.

that's why i normally pay for my stuff instead of downloading it off of rip sites.

it'd be nice if adobe accepted trade though.

[Rockwulf]

I will gladly pay Adobe for Photoshop (and all their other software I use) as soon as I can find a way to get paid for the stuff I make with it.

[malcolm]

psh! yaknow, with as many copies as they do actually sell of it not to mention give away with fancy cameras as well as to graphic design students, I dont think they'll care about you having a jolly roger'd copy my friend.

[Amelia G]

I will gladly pay Adobe for Photoshop (and all their other software I use) as soon as I can find a way to get paid for the stuff I make with it.

Heh. Word.