Just received horrible news.

[malcolm]

My girlfriend, amy, who i met on m-space earlier this year...........

we got into a fight while back and weren't talkign to each other because of something stupid and finally started to talk again this weekend. shes been sick for a while, started out as a headache that wouldnt go away and then she went to the hospital back in february and found out she had a lump in her breast which turned out to be cancer.

this woman is the first woman i have ever met who has treated me as I see myself as being and have hidden from everyone for so long. she thinks im beautiful which i don't see how she could think that at all because she is so much more beautiful than me,

her cancer's gotten worse. the doctors say she's got one to two years before it kills her. shes already had both her breasts removed and i can remember those phone calls and crying along with her listening to them wishing i was there to hold her hand, to let he rknow i thought she was beautiful no matter what.

she's scared. real scared. as am i because I don't want to los eher and i don't want her to suffer thorugh this. i wish her cancer would just go awya. i wish she didnt have to go through chemo or worry about not seeing me so I am going to be researching into getting her out here. there's a new cancer center outside of phoenix and she says she can relocate to out here because of her inheritancce which is great.

I just figured since i've known all of you guys for so long and have been on and off on this site forever so it seems that i'd share this news with you too.

It's no surprise i don't go out much and socialise-im kind of scared of being around people in person i don't know especially large crowds so i do consider alot of you friends even if just online friends it still counts in my opinion and i just thought you guys should know what's going on if i'm not on as much a si normally am to annoy the crap out of you guys okay?

sorry for the long entry. I'm kind of a mess right now and i feel very angry at myself for getting in that fight with her. I hope she's going to be okay and i can't wait until she is out here so i can hold her close and not let go.

[TheDeathKnight]

There are a lot of shitty things in this life.

So it's nice if you can be there for someone else, and vice-versa.

Even if things do not turn out well, it's still good to be there for people when they are going through a shitty time. Too many people just bail, because they don't know how to deal with stuff like that...

[Lady Alias]

I'm sorry, malcom.

Sometimes people's bodies can surprise us. You keep her happy.

[ROGIZOID]

My condolences.
Sorry to hear such news.
:/
<3

[malcolm]

I'm sorry, malcom.

Sometimes people's bodies can surprise us. You keep her happy.

it took me a minute to ponder what's going on and i know.

we've got a ton of good doctors out here in the valley that specialise in that type of cancer and even more survivors out here too.

she wanted me to look up hospitals for her and i told her flat out over the phone that the only places i am going to look up are ones out here because i wasnt there in person with her when she had to have her breasts removed and i'll be damned if this relationship stays long distance when she really needs someone to hold her hand.

so i'm gonna give her the information i found and let her know i've already talked it over with mom-since i dont have a place on my own and this house is big enough-to have her stay here with us when she's not in the hospital.

yes, it's two years but at the same time it's two years we'll be together and two years i can dedicate to making her smile.

but hopefully she'll be around for alot longer than that.

thanx everyone btw for the comments.

[OliX]

Malcolm, look up Suma and vitamin B 17 on the internet, do a research. Do it throughly if you care for her. Remember that her state of mind might be the key in affecting the outcome. Stress and sadness should be forbidden. She has to believe she'll live and be as possitive as possible. Make her laugh as much as possible, watch only happy comedies, no horrors and shit. Talk about the happy things only. And remember! Amygdaline or vitamin b 17

See this for begginers

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...30190281243507

Take care!

[RnR]

I haven't known you that long but take care of yourself and try and keep a positive attitude and keep her attitude positive!

[mystoo]

Sorry to hear that Malcolm. At least she's lucky enough to have such a dedicated friend as yourself.
Cancer is a bitch. My uncle just passed on Monday. It happens so fast.

[toxicat]

I am so sorry. Don't focus on the worst case scenario, though. I just lost a good friend to AML, but many more have pulled through "just fine." My cousin has bone cancer so I'm still living in that anxiety ridden world.

[keiko]

*hugs* I couldn't imagine being separated from some one i care deeply about while they're going through something that intense. If she's coming to stay with you, I feel she's in good hands, at least gentle caring ones.

~K

[malcolm]

Malcolm, look up Suma and vitamin B 17 on the internet, do a research. Do it throughly if you care for her. Remember that her state of mind might be the key in affecting the outcome. Stress and sadness should be forbidden. She has to believe she'll live and be as possitive as possible. Make her laugh as much as possible, watch only happy comedies, no horrors and shit. Talk about the happy things only. And remember! Amygdaline or vitamin b 17

See this for begginers

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...30190281243507

Take care!

i will. yeah, i've decided to try and make the time that they said she's got as happy as possible.

the horror movies thing might be a bit hard not to watch though cus we're both big horror movie fans and i hope getting her out here will relieve some stress cus shes been through a lot of stress with her brother and all. we used to talk all night long but when she went to the hospital the first time, her brother ran up a massive phone bill dialing up her exs and nine hundred numbers and she had to ahve her long distance sevrice cut off so it's hard to talk right now being as we had ours cut off years ago cus of my sis runnign up our bill calling long distance.

thats actually kinda why we got intot hat fight was because i saw messages from her profile being sent to other people-one was a profile of a model for the alt erotic site that shall not be named on here and it turned out it was her brother doing it in the ned. but she kicked his ass out so that should ahve relieved some stress. im gonna send her the info as soon as i get the chance and she wants a picture of me. i may send her my crystal too. im thinking of getting her an apache tear once i get the money to ge tone. they're supposed to bring strength.

[Nos]

I'm keeping her and you in my thoughts ... I know this is hard but I know you pull through it too.

[malcolm]

we will. like i was saying in the other post relate dot her she's getting things in order where she is right now to turn the house over to her godmother who has been sticking with her thruogh all this and leaving her some money to boot and checking out u-hauls.

I told her i didnt want her rushing into anything if she wasnt sure about me first because i have been there before with the whole uprooting and moving in hopes of love and it sux ass when the shit hits the fan but she's a hundre dpercent sure she wants ot be with me and im grateful for that..

[theDragon_svDragcos]

Oh "MALCOLM",...

PLEASE Tell HER YOU LOVE HER DUDE!!,..
I JUST LOST the WOMAN I'VE been w/ for seven Yrs'...

Let Her know YOU want Her in Your Life,
that You DON'T Want to Be WithOut Her,
n' Be There With Her through This..
SHE MAY be RIGHT too
- YOU MAY Find Out how Deep a Person You are
n' Relize How Special You must be
for HER TO LOVE YOU so,...

DON'T LOSE HER ~ "MAL",...

Don't Live alone an' Never get to share the Time you have
- Without Her there too,...

ALL "OUR" (*all your Friends here) 's PRAYERs'
ARE Going Out To "Both" of You.

[Vix]

I'm sorry to hear your bad news, i hope all goes well.