alone

[Belladonna]

do you ever get that alone feeling with lots of loveing people around? how do you deal?

[Bloodcountess]

I'm having like... panic attacks... So when I have your so-called loving people around, I'm found screaming and locking myself up in the room most like to lock myself in. If I'm not at home, and can not go to my room I lock myself into a bathroom.
That is a ocasion to feel lonely

[keiko]

Happens to me all the time. Sitting at teh table in the diner with three of my closest freinds and feeling like the odd man out. I don't deal really. I just kinda pick at my food, or my nails or something and wait for the topic to change, see if I can jump in. Otherwise after an hr of being invisible, I take my leave.
K

[Belladonna]

Happens to me all the time. Sitting at teh table in the diner with three of my closest freinds and feeling like the odd man out. I don't deal really. I just kinda pick at my food, or my nails or something and wait for the topic to change, see if I can jump in. Otherwise after an hr of being invisible, I take my leave.
K

me too. i think i'm depressed or something. because even when i can join in i feel very alone.nothing helps.

[keiko]

me too. i think i'm depressed or something. because even when i can join in i feel very alone.nothing helps.

I've felt this way my whole life, but I don't hink I'm really depressed. Maybe a little, but not enough to seek help for. I've been down that road and that just made it worse. When it gets really bad like taht though, I take a few for myself and think about what made me feel that way. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Maybe I'm lying to myself about being depressed.
K

[poison]

i tend to feel like that a whole lot, sometimes it happens when i'm walking in a crowded place like a town centre but i'll feel like i'm alienated and start having a panic attack, and try to run away somewhere, othertimes i'll be sat with my friends but i'll feel like there's a force field between me and them and that i can't join in with what they're doing so i'll busy myself with picking my nails, brushing my clothes etc. but most often the emotion takes over and i'll just hide my face with my hair and quietly sob...

most certainly this can't be normal behaviour and i apologise for waffling on!

[Sceptic_Messiah]

i get like that all the time because im always so quiet, i guess im bad at getting into a convosation or starting one off so i just sit there and look bored/miserable and i hate it. makes me feel very insecure and alone because i sometimes feel like im making the people around me uncomfertable and miserable

[Pzychotic]

Feelling utterly aolne is something I have totally gotten used to over the years, whether I am siting with one friend or a coffe house full of friends it still seems as thoughit is only me... When these feelings to come along I find it easier to create, Dr's. wanted to put me on meds but, screw that shit, not for me... Creativity is my release...

[CPRB]

As an Only child I though after a while it would go, but yes right now I feel unwanted and not in touch with things and it's frustrating becasue I think I am allright and great person but it seems the people I meet never want to get to know me more then just the polite standards.....I swear soetimes I am damned. I recentley lost my dad and broke up with a girl okay well it was over a year ago now but it feels like yesterday. I moved away fomr new made friends and moved back home to help my mom clean here house and get it sold. I have no friends here and if it wasn't for my art and my dog and I dunno what I would do but for instance right now I feel totall outta touch. I shouldn't be surprised..but sometimes it stings...it's like oh man it's my typos..or maybe i am to friendly I dunno....but yeah I do but I think tommorow will be anew day and things wont be so bad

[Nudemuse]

Maybe I'm strange but if I don't get sometimes where I feel completely alone I tend to get really cranky and mean. As long as I get that I feel ok most of the time. Although I do get lonely on occasion. Usually I go with it. Sometimes it leads to some kind of decent creative release.

Not that I've had any of that for awhile. -_-

[TheDeathKnight]

I think it depends a lot on how comfortable you are around people. If you can become really comfortable around a group of friends, and just be yourself, and not have to think about the social situation, then you can feel part of the flow, part of the group, without feeling on the outside. I always feel on the outside when I am with people I do not know very well. It makes social situations draining to maintain. I have eliminated somewhat by just not giving a shit what people think. That seems to help... But you will always feel like you are on the outside, because that is the reality. You *are* alone. You are looking outwards at the world. The main difference is feeling connected to people, and comfortable. Then you can relax, and your mind simply stops thinking about how separate you are.

[OliX]

before I moved I enjoyed loneliness.... now´when I moved....... FUCK.... why did you started this thread.....

[Amethyst]

I have always liked my space and liked to spend time alone. I didn't see friend very often or have a gf an that was totally okey with me. But after now that I broked up with my gf I can stand being alone. I were all the time with her and never really were alone and that was greatest thing ever. Now it's very difficult to be alone, I get these panic attacks and get deppresssed and can't do anything. I have many friends in school but I have never liked to be very social at school, because there I feel myself as outsider even they are mostly the same friend that I hang out with at free-time too. I noticed that I have now spent very much time at my friends house. I just watch tv and he plays at computer or play gitar or something. So we don't even talk so much or anything. I quess I am runing away the loneliness that way.

[Mirren]

Yeah, I have had that quite a bit, it's called severe depression. You are probably right that you may suffer from this disease, only you and a therapist/psychiatrist can sort that out. You should probably seek professional help, that's my opinion, and we all have one. Psychiatrists and therapy aren't cheap even when you have health insurance. There are programs that may help you for free in your area, wouldn't hurt to look into it. If you need any help looking things up or making calls, just pm me, I would help. You are a very busy person with a lot of responsibilities. It can't be easy to take care of five children , a household and a husband. Although, I am sure he helps. You're in my thoughts, Mirren

[countessnichole]

I hate that feeling when it creeps onto you. It's like you are the only one whose weird and everyone is laughing behind your back or just ignoring you. I get to locking myself in my room when I can't take it, but since i'm in College, i have to find a quiet spot someplace (usually the library) and hide when things get overwhelming. Problem with that is that lonely feeling comes once more.

I try to deal with this by having music always at hand or I get myself to writing. I write poetry or even write a little story for myself, to make myself feel better. I try doing things to calm myself.

[devilmutt]

i get that way around my wifes family none of them hold any negative feelings toward me in fact most of them are very nice to me but i still feel odd around them...of course the same can be said about my own family, who my wife relates to better then i do..

how do i deal, around her family i just stay off to the side with coming and asking what wrong and me smiling and saying nothing and her not believing me...

with my family it usually ends up in an argument with someone and my wife has to stop me from hurting one of them either thur words or actions..

so i guess my answer is...i don't,my wife does...

[Belladonna]

Yeah, I have had that quite a bit, it's called severe depression. You are probably right that you may suffer from this disease, only you and a therapist/psychiatrist can sort that out. You should probably seek professional help, that's my opinion, and we all have one. Psychiatrists and therapy aren't cheap even when you have health insurance. There are programs that may help you for free in your area, wouldn't hurt to look into it. If you need any help looking things up or making calls, just pm me, I would help. You are a very busy person with a lot of responsibilities. It can't be easy to take care of five children , a household and a husband. Although, I am sure he helps. You're in my thoughts, Mirren

they put me on prozac for a short time but that just made me feel like a zombie. my insurance wont pay for much else. they do'nt think it's severe depression just mild. i do'nt trust doctors much and psychiatrist even less. hell i do'nt trust most people. to many knives in my back right now. but i do want help so i guess i should get over it and go back to the doctor she'll send me somewhere. if she can'nt i'll tell you.

[Belladonna]

i get that way around my wifes family none of them hold any negative feelings toward me in fact most of them are very nice to me but i still feel odd around them...of course the same can be said about my own family, who my wife relates to better then i do..

how do i deal, around her family i just stay off to the side with coming and asking what wrong and me smiling and saying nothing and her not believing me...

with my family it usually ends up in an argument with someone and my wife has to stop me from hurting one of them either thur words or actions..

so i guess my answer is...i don't,my wife does...

sounds like my life.

[Krissy Lin]

I am well aquainted with the feeling of being completely alone in a crowd. Most likely because I have always been shy. I am terrified of people I don't know, and just the thought of saying hi to someone I've never met without someone else introducing us is enough to make me uncomfortable.

I'm slowly getting better though. I've found that I am much more comfortable online then in real life at social situations. Krissy is the person I want to be while Kristine hides in the corner. So I began to become Krissy in real life. It began when a friend of mine came to town for a visit. He introduced me as Krissy to people, who in turn did the same thing. I know it's just a mind game I play with myself, and that I'm the same person no matter which name I use, but it really has worked. I'm much happier, and have more friends, now then before.

[TheDeathKnight]

It is VERY easy to feel out of place with people you don't relate to.
If I go visit relatives, or people from a different generation, or a totally different culture,
and I cannot relax like I normally would. I only feel relaxed and comfortable around
friends or family members that I can be myself around, and they understand me,
and I understand them. Even people who have different ideas about life,
can make you feel uncomfortable... It's very hard to relax, and feel part
of a group, unless you are on a similar wavelength... So don't feel weird
if you are in a situation, and you feel alone, or apart. That is normal,
unless you around totally similar people... If you are not, it is fine to
feel alone. You would not want to feel "part" of their world anyhow...

[Histrionica]

do you ever get that alone feeling with lots of loveing people around? how do you deal?

I have no words of wisdom, i just want you to know i'm thinking about you. PM me if you'd like to vent/whine/cry/scream in a more personal way. I guarantee what you say won't go beyond me, and i won't tell you what how to "fix" your life.

One question though: do you have anything that you do(outside of the computer) that is just and only for you? An activity that you are passionate about, and makes you feel good and alive? I only ask because i know you're a wife and a mother, and sometimes we forget to do things that are for ourselves as individuals.



Skishes(the Histy version of the hug),
~Histrionica~

[keiko]

I always feel a little out of place and slightly distant from the world. Unless I'm writing. I find myself "drowning" in these otehr people's lives. living more vividly and realisticaly throguht these people on paper than I could ever live in my own life. These people are accepted by their fellow characters (or not, but at least they all know where the other stands on the subject). Their world is very controlled, there are no variables. I think that's why I find myself spending more and more time with them and less and less in the "real world".
K

[killerkat]

not shur if this is really on topic,but me and my feiance(the one and only grilr everbeen with) have recently been tore apart and through more bullshit than i you would ever want to know we wont be able to se speake hear touch any thing for at least a couple years,my whole life for that past months or so has sucked ,been so lonely im like this close to just taking like a 100 hits of acid and getting lost in my own mind forever.i have never really been depressed bad but its been absoulutly terrible lately all my freinds and stuff are like "it cool " and all that bullshit but i constintly ffeel alone (very very x3 alone)it sucks man.

[purplepixie]

Maybe I'm strange but if I don't get sometimes where I feel completely alone I tend to get really cranky and mean. As long as I get that I feel ok most of the time. Although I do get lonely on occasion. Usually I go with it. Sometimes it leads to some kind of decent creative release.

Not that I've had any of that for awhile. -_-

No I feel like that or at least on some level, for some reason when I feel like I'm beggining to fit in i have to take a break be on my own and paint but that rarely happens because I usually feel alone when surronded by people....and now i think that I'm contrdicting myself

[pedar]

they put me on prozac for a short time but that just made me feel like a zombie. my insurance wont pay for much else. they do'nt think it's severe depression just mild. i do'nt trust doctors much and psychiatrist even less. hell i do'nt trust most people. to many knives in my back right now. but i do want help so i guess i should get over it and go back to the doctor she'll send me somewhere. if she can'nt i'll tell you.

If you don't like meds..you can try talk therapy which is more often just as effective-especially cognitive-behavioral...and they recommend other things as well- exercise is very important
And there are over the counter things like SAM-e and St. John's Wort and GABA which might suit you better..
good luck P.

[TheDeathKnight]

not shur if this is really on topic,but me and my feiance(the one and only grilr everbeen with) have recently been tore apart and through more bullshit than i you would ever want to know we wont be able to se speake hear touch any thing for at least a couple years,my whole life for that past months or so has sucked ,been so lonely im like this close to just taking like a 100 hits of acid and getting lost in my own mind forever.i have never really been depressed bad but its been absoulutly terrible lately all my freinds and stuff are like "it cool " and all that bullshit but i constintly ffeel alone (very very x3 alone)it sucks man.

When you have someone you are close to, you feel relaxed, comfortable, happy, connected, etc. So when you are alone again, it sucks.

But here is a bit of advice:

There are no guarantees in life. She might die tomorrow in a car accident. You might win the lottery. Anything can happen in life. But your life goes on. You have to make the best out of it, and realize that the good times are a treat. But life is not like that all the time. You have to make the best out of it. If you want love again, then maybe it will be with someone else. Or maybe you will find new friends. Who knows. But you just have to make the best out of each day, because you only have one life. Get the most out of your day. If it is a pretty day, enjoy it. Do not dwell on the sadness of the past, or on the things you lost, or do not have now. Life is not fair. You do not always get to keep all the things you love. Sometimes they die, leave, or change. That is part of life. But there is always tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow you will meet the *real* love of your life. Maybe tomorrow you will meet the best friend ever. Maybe tomorrow you will get an awesome job. Who knows? Maybe you will get hit by a truck and lose your arm. That's life... It throws random shit at you. You just have to deal with it, and keep going... Maybe tomorrow will be better...

[Belladonna]

I have no words of wisdom, i just want you to know i'm thinking about you. PM me if you'd like to vent/whine/cry/scream in a more personal way. I guarantee what you say won't go beyond me, and i won't tell you what how to "fix" your life.

One question though: do you have anything that you do(outside of the computer) that is just and only for you? An activity that you are passionate about, and makes you feel good and alive? I only ask because i know you're a wife and a mother, and sometimes we forget to do things that are for ourselves as individuals.



Skishes(the Histy version of the hug),
~Histrionica~

i just might do that. thank you.
i really do'nt have much outside of my husband and kids. no real time.