Do you tell the truth even when it hurts?

[Amelia G]

Do you tell the truth even when it hurts? Do you take honesty so far it verges on sadism? For example, if a friend gets a horrible haircut and is fretting about it, do you lie and say it looks fine, balls-out tell them how awful it is, mock them mercilessly, avoid giving an opinion, or as gently as possible suggest ways to deal with it until it grows out.

[KessM]

umm im usually pretty honest, yess, but i dont mock people. i tone down my opinions LOL best way to put it. i dont lie though.

[Aza]

The only time I don't tell the truth immediately is when the rules of tact dictate that I should hold off... but I will never substitute a lie for myself. I'll still lie for my friends when they ask me to (such as when they're trying to keep something from their parents or, though they have to convince me of its necessity.

I don't tell the truth in order to hurt people, though. I tell the truth because it hurts so much less in the long run, like ripping off a bandage or jumping into the deep end of a cold pool. I'd like my friends more for being honest with me than I would if I found out they'd deliberately kept information that I could have used to better myself or my situation. Honesty is nearly always the best policy!

[Anna Evans]

I'm a terrible liar so I just never do it. In the bad haircut example, I'd tell my friend that I didn't think it suited them and why, and then help them figure out what kind of wigs or extensions would make it better. I'd hope my friends would do the same for me. I don't see a way that lying about it and pretending it didn't suck would make it any better.

[mystoo]

It depends on who exactly I'm talking to. If it's a close friend I'll find some way to come out with the truth. Sometimes though, that can be hard with super sensitive people.
I'm trying to think of an example where lying would be for the best but I can't.

[Mindgames]

I'm trying to think of an example where lying would be for the best but I can't.

Neither can I. Amelia asks so many wonderful questions, that it's never even transiently disturbing that she never says what's happening in her life to prompt them.

Me; I'll say what works given the person. I'm not about to tell the pre-menstrual girl in Starfcks it's getting on my nerves that she asks me every damn day "do you want any pastries?" when in 2 years I've never had one - not until the cap is very firmly on the last coffee I ever buy.

If I'm randomly talking to a friend, I'd much prefer them to be honest (as frankly nothing offends me other than someone trying not to offend me), and likewise why lie about how their hair looks, when they clearly don't care what the answer is. Say they look crap and they tell you you're wrong, say they look good and they think you're just being nice. It's a non-question, along with things like "so dude, how ya been?" and "is this your car, Sir?"

Talking the truth leads to far more interesting conversations than trying to be nice, but sometimes conversation is sacrificed on the altar of non-spit-flavored coffee. If someone takes umbrage to a reply, they shouldn't have asked the question.

[Ingridsca1]

Hmmm, I lie a lot. Like "Sure, you need to do really well on your final and you might just pass." Instead of "No, there is no way you can pass at this point and besides, you're an annoying little piece of waste and the sound of your voice makes me want to plunge pencils into your eye-sockets."

This is way there's summer vacations...

[Aza]

Always telling the truth on principle is indeed sadism.

*sigh*

Sadism is intentionally causing someone else pain or discomfort for self-gratification. If I wanted to do that, I'd spew nothing but lies from sunup to sundown. The truth may hurt more immediately, but it almost always hurts less in the long run. I've been lied to enough times to know how painful it is, and how merciful truth can be.

Sadists, on the other hand, tell truths that don't need to be told simply to be insulting. There's no principle involved when they do so, because they're not trying to better the person with whom they're being truthful. That will always be their excuse for such behavior, but the underlying goal is to psychologically torture, not to help. When truth is only told for the purpose of playing on a person's insecurities, such is indeed sadism... but claiming to be truth-telling on principle at that point is itself a lie.

[Vix]

I tell white lies, but i never lie about something that is going to get me into trouble

[Raza]

Truths wouldn't have a tenth of their ability to hurt people if they weren't always being held back to avoid that very thing. It's the breaking of what is perceived as benign custom that lends them their offensive power far more than it is the information they convey.

Me, I try to voice especially those insights that people would prefer not to hear; partially because in the moral elevation of custom people tend to underestimate their favorite illusions' negative side effects; partially out of sadism. It kind of evens out, and entertains me in the process.

[Buster Friendly]

When ever I hear the phrase "I'm just being honest", or "I'm just telling the truth" I usually notice that that's hardly the only thing the "truthteller" is "just" doing. Usually telling a version of the truth, or partial truths to advance some agenda is what's actually going on.

In a similar vein people who think of themselves as "too truthful", or "honest to a fault" are usually just tactless assburps who lack rudimentry social intelligence.

I tell petty lies for entertainment, and to amuse my own warped sense of humor. Things so absurd, and nonsensical that a person who believed them would deserve the lie. It's amazing what people will believe temporarilly if you're delivery is spot on.

I will also tell vicious lies to, and about people I truly hate, but usually in a similar vein as above. Things so absurdly wrong, that they are obvious insults.

Other than that, it's too difficult to tell lies and keep them all straight. So why bother.

With the above hair cut example, I'd probably say I didn't care for the style. I'm a notorious crank though so it could be dismissed easily.

[Raza]

Srsly. I was like, did he really just start his post like that?

[Vexbeast]

I don't care much for truth or lies. I tend to tell the truth about anything though... Occasionally I'll tell a lie when something is completely obvious, non-sarcastically. I separate my lying because I don't do it for entertainment, and I don't do it coupled with the body language that says, "I'm saying the opposite of what is true because you're stupid."

Unfortunately, I have to be careful not to lie to my mother. She's a moron and doesn't understand the concept of obvious. It's troublesome to explain to someone that you were lying to their face for no reason when they actually believed what you said. :/

[theDragon_svDragcos]

I have a FLAW in my Nature
- a Streak of Truth' engrained of (we) Scorpio types'...

so Sometimes MY TRUTH is so Hard it CUTs deeper
than a Finely honed Tempered T'achi' katanna,....
~ (*some say the "Scorpios Sting",...
but I sting Myself - PURPOSELY at times
when I need to See My Own truths too,
- Many are UnAble to do that
< with/for ~ *Themselves >
in this Present day world ].