What would you study?

[Nightingale]

PORN 101
. . . and more outrageous college courses parents MUST know about

Black magic for a Better Tomorrow . . . Dating Strategies for Serial Sex Offenders and *********s . . . Pornography 101 . . . Devil Worship Made Easy . . . **** is Not a Crime . . . How to Boost Business Profits by Pretending You Love Jesus . . . How to Run a Successful Hooking Business From Your Dorm Room -- Without a Pimp . . .

These are just a few of the outrageous new courses that colleges nationwide are offering as students head back to school for the fall semester, making this what a watchdog group calls "the worst year for academia in our nation's history."

"Our colleges and universities have forgotten all about teaching our young people arts and sciences -- all they're interested in is catering to radicals and fringe groups that want to promote their own agendas," fumes Herman Merriman, cofounder of Citizens for Sane Curricula, in Washington, D.C.

"Black Magic for a Better Tomorrow? The Joys of Incest? I'd laugh if somebody were making this up.

"But these courses are real. And our tax dollars and tuition checks are supporting this madness.

"If that doesn't rile you up, I don't know what will. Every time I think about it, I get physically ill." Here, from the watchdog group's riveting pamphlet, What Did You Learn in College Today, Johnny?, are 8 shocking courses that are currently being offered in private and public schools in all 50 states.

"If you have a weak heart, you might want a friend or loved one to read them along with you," says Merriman, "in case somebody has to call for an ambulance."

1. Jesus Was the Antichrist. This course purports to show that the most influential holy man in human history "wasn't just a charlatan," he was, in fact, claim the authors of the textbook, "a fortune teller, astrologer, and despicable force of evil."

2. Pornography 101. Can a daily dose of hard-core XXX smut really "make people happier and nicer and also make the world a better place?" This class says, "Yes."

3. Black Magic for a Better Tomorrow. This class advises students to "abandon Christian superstitions" and "embrace the dark powers" for love, money, health, sex, luck -- you name it.

4. Dating Strategies for Sex Offenders and *********s. "Sex offenders and *********s may find it difficult to find companionship of a sexual nature, but there are ways to get around the stigma of being a pervert," the introduction to this course says.

5. Devil Worship Made Easy. This popular class trashes the Bible, the Koran and other holy books and tells students that "partying and hell-raising are appropriate ways to 'get right' with Satan before it's too late."

6. **** is Not a Crime. From a purely existential perspective -- in which life has no meaning and there is no God or afterlife -- ****, the course argues, is O.K. . . . as is murder, theft, child abuse and anything else that most civilized people frown upon.

7. How to Boost Business Profits by Pretending You Love Jesus. This Harvarddesigned course shows MBAs how to "play the religion card" and "milk Christians" for business profits that otherwise would flow to churchgoing, momand- pop business owners who really do worship Christ.

8. How to Run a Successful Hooking Business from Your Dorm Room -- Without a Pimp. As if college coeds don't get enough action in the sack after keg and fraternity parties, this course sings the praises of becoming "a working girl" and running a call girl business -- on school property.

This is, of course, from the Weekly World News, but that doesn't make it any less true, does it?

Which courses do you wish had been available during your student days?

[MidniteCliche]

I've always liked cryptozoology! But that's a real one. Hmmm...they should teach, how to cover up murders....lol

[Tequila Zaire]

I'm pretty sure this is BS but if I can get credit for Porn 101 I'm in.

[Tequila Zaire]

I've always liked cryptozoology! But that's a real one. Hmmm...they should teach, how to cover up murders....lol

It can be called...HOW TO OUT CSI, CSI 101

[MistressJennifer]

[MistressJennifer]

What about French Champagne Appreciation ? A class devoted to sampling the many varieties of French Champagne... I think you would get a masters degree, at least.

[purplepixie]

I went to look at a fashion design course at de montford uni and she talked for ages about this BA degree in fashion buying
why would you ever need a degree in how to shop?

[hewhoisagod]

Our anthropology department has Mysticism, Withchcraft and the Occult. I do like my Religion course right now, it's on the Old Testament, what's funny is watching the psycho christians in the back get pissed off at the teacher because he trashes their beliefs. Right now it's my favorite class this semester.

[Nightingale]

I went to look at a fashion design course at de montford uni and she talked for ages about this BA degree in fashion buying why would you ever need a degree in how to shop?

Somehow I think they mean a different sort of buying to what you mean ....

When I worked in Harrods I did some buying for the book department, which was fascinating. Trying to see in advance what would sell over the following weeks. I can imagine in the fashion departments it is practically hell.

[KilLAtomiK]

im teaching a college class out of my parents basement called Piracy For Fun And Proffit: it is a one semester cource in which students will learn the fine art of piracy such as Boarding enemy vessels,cutlass or rapier which is the better weapon?,ship to ship combat and evaisve and defensive sailing maneuvers, fire arms our new friends?, and thats just the first month note: KilLAtomiK State is not acredited by the state of california and will not be held responsible for loss of limbs, drowning,or death

[BrightStar]

Didnt read all of that, though a lot of those seem cool.

[aXa]

ive always wanted to take a course on demonology. id also love to take some forensics courses. forensic entomology anyone? i love the postmortum bodily processes, like decay n stuff. cryptozoology sounds interesting too. how about a class completely about spiders? but i dont have the science background to get into them. what else? ive taken abunch of courses on all sorts of 'mystical' things. ive even had a "jewish studies" course(i did get asked to leave for my beliefs regarding Lilith tho). i took a class on vampires in lit and film. and id enjoy a folklore class about faeries. but the one thing id really like to still study would be a class devoted to "the triple Goddess". that was what my senior thesis paper was going to be on, but i never finished it.

[Amelia G]

When I was in school, I actually took a class called Kinship and Law in Medieval Iceland

[LrdSatanas]

i would so take black magic. fuck the better tommarrow.