This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver
for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.This time of
year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the water out
of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it
down to the diver through a garden
hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,and I've used it several
times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.This only
made things
worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened.
The hot water ! machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of
my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to
make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.The cream put the fire
out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next
time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if
you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my Job."
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