
Originally Posted by
Ellis
Im not asking for forgiveness or justification... but I really need to write this down or ill go insane. I dont really expect anyone to comment on this, but this was the window that was open on my computer.
My ex just came over. I had been upset about a number of things, havnt slept in a long time, and ive been really lonely. She came over and of course we started fighting instantly. She came into my room with me and we talked about what was troubling her. I started crying after what she said struck a chord, she hugged me, and then one thing ledto another. I dont want to go into the details, for obvious reasons, but enough happened to constitute cheating. And it was, because she is now dating the guy she cheated on me with. I feel horrible. The taste of bile is in my mouth, and I can barely stand myself. I told her to tell him I manipulated her into doing it, but she is scared of him hurting her, so she isnt going to tell anyone anything. I dont even know what happened, really, it was all so fast, but I guess I can at least take comfort in the fact that it wasnt premeditated or remorseless on either side.
Just when I was about to be able to move on with my life, too.
Fuck me.
Ive never violated my strict morals until now... and now that I have, I feel disconnected or dead. What the hell should I do? Go on with my life like she wants?
On the other hand...
He and her both deserve to feel what I went through all the times she cheated on me.(I wish I could say that I did it for revenge, and not weakness)
Which hand to chop off?
Bookmarks