how do you deal with them

[TheDeathKnight]

Tell us!

[Belladonna]

well i talked to her. she says smell is only important to me. i didn't tell her about the jokes others made because she doesn't care about the stink let her walk in on the jokes. i confronted her about her picking on my kid she says "i don't do that." yet i'ev seen it. and i told her i know about her talking about me. she looked guilty but said she didn't do that either. my kids just missunderstood i guess. i don't know if i wanna keep this friendship. she said i think i'm purrfect. not true. i hate the person i am at times. i told her that. i try to be a good mom and all the other things i have to be but fall way way short. i was picked to talk to her. she thinks it's just me but it's not. so i was wrong to say anything i guess. she is always right. so screw me again.

[Buster Friendly]

either let it go, and let the 'friendship' wither...

...or BURN HER HOUSE DOWN...

...yesss, yess... fire cleanses all...

[Toe Cutter]

[sunkarma]

here's a very handy quote by William S Burroughs. print it out and use it!

Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill.
Tell them firmly:
I AM NOT BEING PAID TO LISTEN TO THIS DRIVEL.
YOU ARE A TERMINAL FOOL!

My dear, the truly insane do not admit they are insane.
Therefore, what is a terminal fool?
Folly is everywhere...
I had rather say humanity itself is in a terminal state.
The more we pollute our environment, cause general chaos and havoc, etc..the worse it gets.
But heck, might as well have fun on the way to hell.
I am not gloomy...I love life...but I am realistic about certain things.
Sometimes OVER realistic.

I deal with them by simply not telling them.
I am almost like the person you mentioned that has a house that smells like cat! Even though I clean the litterpans everyday...a house with now 7 cats is not a flowery one.
Once a friend told me my house smelled like cat, and although I agreed, I was a little upset. I mean, it is not something I can DO about it (they are my children and my familiars...and they will not go!)...so I burn incense.

I suppose it is truly how much you have to deal with to determine what limits you will take before you speak, if you speak, and when you speak.

Or, you could just ignore....and not associate.
Whatever keeps you sane.

[TheDeathKnight]

It's not you who is to blame.

She is stinky, and that's a fact.

You simply have to decide if you want to be friends or not.
I have friends that I only see out on the town.
I don't associate closely, because they have big problems.
But I don't mind meeting them for lunch, etc...

But if you have close friends with problems, it's going to suck.
But sometimes you have to accept how people are.
But don't let them fully into your life.
Spend time with them when you can handle it.
But don't spend time there, if the smell bothers you...
If they ask why you won't go over, tell them it's the smell.
But tell them you'd be happy to meet them out and away
from the smelly place, and happy to talk there.

But don't blame yourself, and don't blame them.
They can live how they want, and so can you.
And you can meet in the middle.
But don't force yourself to be someplace that you don't like.

[cheinara wraithwalker]

Napalm.

[Belladonna]

thank you all for the advice and jokes and all. i think the friendship is ending and the chick i know thing is starting. my husband is so pissed at them he's pritty much ending it. he don't like folks taking crap about me. gotta love that. so i'll shower she wont and we'll just see each other once in awhile.

[TheDeathKnight]

Perfect!

[the_plague]

you can just be friends from a distance. unless the children are in immediate danger you can still say hi when youi see the person occasionally without actually hanging out at their house. some people just live that way...but there's usually drugs and/or mental illness involved as well. so don't be too down if you can't do anything about it...i'd still rather live in a world where showering is optional as opposed to mandatory. you don't HAVE to hang out with stinky people.

[Buster Friendly]

ugh!!

I've just had my own 'how do you deal with them' situation... not as smelly as yours...but...

this rolly polly batfaced little girl I have to work with occasionally kept repeated throwing herself at me today...

...you know, you offer polite disinterest... you're out right rude... you give every indication that you'd rather be skinny dipping in boiling oil... and they just seem to want you more...

shit, when a girl does the sorts of stuff i was doing today, I just laugh and move on...


wish them well, and well away from you!