you know whats wrong

[P I L O T]

being a faithful husband for years, working taking care of your family, being an ideal husband to your children (not drinking or smoking, hanging out, nothing). Paying off your house buying two cars, one for you, one for your wife,.. being the type of guy that plans on spending time with his wife and children, only to find out your wife has been sleeping with another man on the couch you and your 8 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter watch tv on, play, eat and sleep on.

they is a saying that claims women are from venus,.. hearing stories like this makes me wonder if they are from hell.

(ps. I don't believe in the cosmic stories of heaven and hell.)

[drewblood]

sorry to hear that man. i really have no advice, other than i hope you can start over with your kids.

i guess what i'm taking away from your story is that when i get a family i should smoke, drink, party, cheat on my wife and not pay the bills.... that way i'm covered just in case my wife fucks it all up.

[TheDeathKnight]

The problem is that dependable is boring.

Dependable offers little in the way of excitement.

Women need a shitload of attention and excitement, to make them feel
good about themselves. And a dependable worker bee, is not always
able to keep up the wild excitement for years and years. The family
and parent vibe, as good and wholesome as it is, is not sexy.

I do not doubt that she probably really appreciates your husbandly
and fatherly characteristics. And even if she doesn't, if you leave,
she will soon realize what she lost, and what she fucked up. But
the key is to realize that it's really hard for people to be monogomous.
And it's really hard for people to be honest that they are losing interest.

I'd bet you money that the reason she did not tell you she was
having these thoughts and interests, is because she really did
not want to lose you.

But I would say that 90% of the time, being dependable, and good,
is not enough to keep someone sexually interested. They need a lot
of wildness, and attention, or they will get bored. And if they do get
bored, you had better be ready to talk about an open relationship,
or you had better be ready to work hard to make it interesting.

One thing I have noticed also, is that even if a woman has total
attention and love from her man, if she has low-self esteem,
she will not believe your validation of her sexiness and appeal.
So they will need to go get validation that they are sexy from
a stranger. They want to prove to themselves that they are
sexy and desirable. And sometimes that can get out of hand.
But occasionally you need to let them flirt, and fool around
a little, so that they feel sexy and wanted by someone other
than the devoted husband...

I find people cheating to be perfectly normal, in many ways.
But what people need to learn to do, is to be honest, and communicate
about what's going on in your head, and in your pants, and in the bedroom.
Too many people keep it all a secret, and then things get discovered in a
destructive way...

[P I L O T]

oh no dude, its not me,.. i'm only 23 years old,.. key thing i omitted is that he takes the family to church cause thats the religion the girl grew up in,.. the parents knew it that way and everything,...

I just think its some kind of a smack in the face,.. I say if you need excitementrent a porn video something make it work don't just run off and fuck some other guy on your familys sofa,.. wtf is that?

homeboi was crying like someone died cause realistically the wife he knew the way he knew her really just did die,.. u dig?

[TheDeathKnight]

got it.

People are stupid.

People need to figure out what the hell they want.

I have no respect or patience for people who cheat, when they could leave.
If you realize you want someone else, then tell the person you are with,
or just fuckin' leave, and go do it. I don't think people should be stuck
in shitty situations. People should go fuck who they want to fuck.
But don't do it behind someone's back, because you want to keep
the benefits of the relationship. It sounds like he was really reliable,
and that's why she stayed, instead of leaving when she should have...

Kids can deal with it.
People can get over it.

But it's a hell of a lot easier if the person tell you they are leaving,
and then later hooks up with somone else.
It's a lot harder when you catch them lying, and fucking around
in your living room...

People need to just grow some balls when it comes to telling the other
person when they want to be with someone else...
Hell, at least then they could talk about if they should
break up, or let her do it, or whatever...
But getting blindsided sucks.
I want some fucking warning at least.

[tinstar]

People should go fuck who they want to fuck.
But don't do it behind someone's back

Yeah... Then there's that little thing called HERPES that a full 20% of people in the US have... Realistically, it is probably higher than that - those are only the cases that are actually diagnosed by doctors... Some stats predict almost 40%...

So... how bout a cheating wife AND some herpes on the living room couch

[cheshire centauri]

Yeah... Then there's that little thing called HERPES that a full 20% of people in the US have... Realistically, it is probably higher than that - those are only the cases that are actually diagnosed by doctors... Some stats predict almost 40%...

So... how bout a cheating wife AND some herpes on the living room couch

Who is Herpes?

[P I L O T]

The problem is that dependable is boring.

Dependable offers little in the way of excitement.

Women need a shitload of attention and excitement, to make them feel
good about themselves. And a dependable worker bee, is not always
able to keep up the wild excitement for years and years. The family
and parent vibe, as good and wholesome as it is, is not sexy.

I do not doubt that she probably really appreciates your husbandly
and fatherly characteristics. And even if she doesn't, if you leave,
she will soon realize what she lost, and what she fucked up. But
the key is to realize that it's really hard for people to be monogomous.
And it's really hard for people to be honest that they are losing interest.

I'd bet you money that the reason she did not tell you she was
having these thoughts and interests, is because she really did
not want to lose you.

But I would say that 90% of the time, being dependable, and good,
is not enough to keep someone sexually interested. They need a lot
of wildness, and attention, or they will get bored. And if they do get
bored, you had better be ready to talk about an open relationship,
or you had better be ready to work hard to make it interesting.

One thing I have noticed also, is that even if a woman has total
attention and love from her man, if she has low-self esteem,
she will not believe your validation of her sexiness and appeal.
So they will need to go get validation that they are sexy from
a stranger. They want to prove to themselves that they are
sexy and desirable. And sometimes that can get out of hand.
But occasionally you need to let them flirt, and fool around
a little, so that they feel sexy and wanted by someone other
than the devoted husband...

I find people cheating to be perfectly normal, in many ways.
But what people need to learn to do, is to be honest, and communicate
about what's going on in your head, and in your pants, and in the bedroom.
Too many people keep it all a secret, and then things get discovered in a
destructive way...

my whole thing is like why get married if your going to cheat? is that the point of getting married? ,.. outside of b.s. paper greencard marragies and tax exception roommate marriages.

given she was a girl whom had only been with one man her entire life, which was the guy she married,... but at the same token to keep it secret and try and play her husbands mind like nothing is happening is a bit extreme,.. I think those are the type of things that can drive a person mad. imagine living in the same apartment building or nieghbor as the man your wife as been cheating wife you on,.. and not knowing its him,.. or sharing an elevator and saying something like "god bless you" if he sneezes, or holding a door open for the guy and saying "your welcome".etc etc..

[Rockwulf]

He was a husband to his kids? That's fucking sick....

[P I L O T]

He was a husband to his kids? That's fucking sick....

if you don't have anything worth posting please do not post in my thread.

kthx

[Rockwulf]

if you don't have anything worth posting please do not post in my thread.

kthx

I'm not the one talking about child husbandry....

[P I L O T]

I'm not the one talking about child husbandry....

and we all see how clear your thoughts are now,.. thank you for that.

(NOT!)

byenow please.

[Rockwulf]

and we all see how clear your thoughts are now,.. thank you for that.

(NOT!)

byenow please.

You wanna be in here all by yourself with some kids? Freakin' pedo....


Kids dude....kids.

[P I L O T]

my mistake so i wrote it wrong,.. I'm sure you can understand what I meant,.. to be honest I'm sure I wrote "to wife and kids,.. why it reads just kids,.. is beyond me,.. i don't reread before posting,.. but you get the general idea.

[Rockwulf]

my mistake so i wrote it wrong,.. I'm sure you can understand what I meant,.. to be honest I'm sure I wrote "to wife and kids,.. why it reads just kids,.. is beyond me,.. i don't reread before posting,.. but you get the general idea.

Yeah, I'm just fucking with you...

[P I L O T]

how are you a senior member? cause you have 365 posts?

I don't like that term,.. "fucking",.. I know wwhat you mean,.. (i hope),.. cause i don't get down that way homie.

anyway I see how you got your post count so high now.

[Spaceman Spiff]

Dude, I know you haven't been around that long, but that's what Rockwulf does. When the mood is down he jumps in with something funny and then maybe posts a comic frame with edited dialogue...its not the kind of thing you usally need to take so seriously, you'll know when he is making a serious comment.

P.S. I'm sorry to hear about your friend...that's fucked up.

[P I L O T]

i'm sorry,.. its just that I had to see the guy you know,.. to see the look on his face,.. to see his eyes and face blood red with tears.

its just where my mind is at,.. was at,.. whatever,...

anyway,... is there a way to delete the whole thread?

there are probably will going to be a ton of guys whom are cheating on their wifes now that are going to think I'm retarted or something,...

but from where i sit its just the way i see things,.. or question things.

[Rockwulf]

i'm sorry,.. its just that I had to see the guy you know,.. to see the look on his face,.. to see his eyes and face blood red with tears.

its just where my mind is at,.. was at,.. whatever,...

anyway,... is there a way to delete the whole thread?

there are probably will going to be a ton of guys whom are cheating on their wifes now that are going to think I'm retarted or something,...

but from where i sit its just the way i see things,.. or question things.

The word you were looking for was "retarded", that's R-E-T-A-......oh fuck it....nevermind.

[Rockwulf]

I don't like that term,.. "fucking",.. I know wwhat you mean,.. (i hope),.. cause i don't get down that way homie.

No, I meant that I was actually having sexual intercourse with you....I understand your not feeling it, I'm hung like an elevator button.....

[Vitorro]

walks up and kicks Rock in the button "goin down?" walks off Bwahahahahahfdhfdhahahahah(j/k)

[Rockwulf]

walks up and kicks Rock in the button "goin down?"

No, but yo' mama was last night.......BOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[Umbilical Lotus]

The problem in these scenarios is the lack of communication. Whatever emotional problems are going down, whatever needs each individual has are just not being communicated to the other person, and that causes those needs and emotions to never be resolved, which either leads to seething bitterness or release in other forms.

My current, and hopefully forever guy is one of those nice dependable men. He's very moral, and I always have to talk him out of doing things for me or buying me things just because I want them. We disagree on certain fundamental things (most notably our opinions on liquor and drugs - he's a prude :p ), but apart from some arguements and rough spots, the relationship ultimately works out because we talk to one another about stuff.

It's a natural desire to want to make the relationship work, but so often we have our own ideas about what a working relationship means and is made of that we just skip out on asking the other person what they want out of it. Also, especially in sexual situations, we might be ashamed or embarassed about our own wants and don't feel comfortable bringing it up with our partner, on the premise that we love them, and don't want to lose what we have. But dishonesty ALWAYS brings some sort of horrible problem, and often we only gain the wisdom to just not bloody hide things from the people we love after we've been through some bloody, painful conflagration of that type. Many of us don't get it at all, and that's sad, and some of us do this sort of stuff out of inborn assholery, and that's infuriating.

Most people don't know they're going to cheat. Most people don't plan on cheating; a combination of circumstance and emotion makes it happen. It's easy to justify hiding it, as it's a shameful thing and unless a person has great personal honesty (in which case this wouldn't be a problem) or great force of will, NO ONE likes dealing with shameful things or bringing them up into the open. Hence concealment, hence a big fireball when it eventually gets discovered. It doesn't make it easier, emotionally, to realize this, but it makes it easier to work through and, possibly, salvage.

[P I L O T]

okay here a question,.. should she get to keep the kids?

of course don't know specifics as to either members in the relationship,.. but hypotically speaking if they have never done anything to wrong and have had flawless records with one another till she cheated,... would that be right? With the way women fight to be men in society,.. or to be recognizied and respected as independent individuals etc,.. and don't get me wrong I'm a big fan of women whom don't need a man to survive, very big. I admire some women for how well they do on there own.
Seriously tho would it be fair for her to keep the children? Would it be unfair?
I think that would make for an interesting kick in the pants to see a woman have to pay alomony(sp?).
I can think of lots of girls whom don't deserve to have their children,... but its already like an unwritten law,... i have no kids,.. so again there just questions that run thru my mind.

[Scar]

The bickering on this thread is fucking hilarious, I just want to throw that in before I go on :-)

She's a malicious cunt, that's what I think. People who violate the space of a loved one do it because they get off on the fact that they are "getting away with it". I once had a friend who made friends with this couple just so the wife wouldn't be suspicious of their "friendship". She would have them both over after clubs and the wife would fall asleep because she had been taking care of their kid all day (while the husband worked hard at Kinko's) and then she would fuck the husband while the wife was asleep on the couch. That is fucked up. Needless to say I am not friends with her anymore, because I disagree with her morals.

[Mr Karl]

So this guys wife is getting banged by some other guy, unfortunately I am quite insensitive to things like that and also quite unsympathetic.
The way I see it is abviously she wasn't getting what she wanted from her husband so she had to go elsewhere. Now the only advise I can give is realize that he's at war now and to act appropriately .

[Camby Savelle]

with time people/feelings/intrests change. it's just how life seems to work.

[Amelia G]

That sounds really awful. How did your poor friend find out, P I L O T? Was she just using him or was she just being selfish and undisciplined?

[MichelleX]

I Absolutely Agree with DeathKnight. I've been sayin that for years.

[malcolm]

yeh. that sucks....marriage should be
(in my opinion which may vary from others)
about love and devotion to each other. infidelity is wrong no matter what. especially in marriage.

I dont know what kinda hippy liberal tooty frooty sugar coated crap communication is gonna do when you promised to love honor and respect someone whose boinging some slapnut on the couch behind your back.

it shows no respect to your partner and no respect to your children as well.

and no. i dont think she should keep the kids.

[Mr Karl]

All I can see is that we aren't getting the whole story, for instance, how did they meet in the first place? How did she find time to do what she did? How old are they? What does he do for a living? Does she have to work? Has he given this guy a good shitkicking? Why did he choose to live the life of a married saint? , obviously it seems thats not what she wanted so why marry her?

stories like this are like diamonds, there are so may sides

Should he get the kids? well if he doesn't have All the facts ready like amunition to use then he loses everything, cause if she's really as bad as he says she is then she has the plan already prepared

Tell your friend good luck