Do you think polyamory is a good idea?

[evilgrrl]

My partners and I are polyfidelitious, which means we have more than one partner, but it's a closed circle. We are fluid bonded, and don't have sex with others. We don't all have sex with all of the people involved, but it's not monogamy.

I think polyamory can be sort of sexual orientation. I have always been more comfortable in those type of situations, and now I prefer them. I also remember thinking things when I was younger like that I wouldn't break up my marriage over one infidelity, and that I didn't understand why you couldn't love more than one person at a time.

Reading "The Ethical Slut" cleared up a lot for me.

[Mr Karl]

It all souns like a lot of work to me, and I'm lazy

[evilgrrl]

It IS a lot of work. For me, though, I think polyamory tends to be more of an orientation and less of a choice.

Someone else in my group is having a hard time not because she is jealous of the others, but she doesn't want to be in group situations, not even for social situations. So instead of all going places together, now we split it up so she can spend time with her partner alone. It's like she doesn't want to divide her attention or something, while I enjoy a social group dynamic. But I've always been this way; I always liked dated in groups better than dating alone.

Different strokes for different folks.

[malcolm]

My personal opinion on wethe rpolyamory is a good thing: NO.

[suicidal_tendencies]

My personal opinion on wethe rpolyamory is a good thing: NO.

good answer

[MichelleX]

Well, bein bi, it's really not an option. I have a boyfriend, but it's not like I suddenly stop enjoying/needing/wanting/craving women. The specifics of how the poly relationship works depends on the couple. We have certain arrangements that fit both our needs, which generally gives me the freedom to seek out female companionship. But - it is very well understood that if either of us feel the need for the opposite sex that the line of communication is certainly open.
To me anyway, it's not so much about what ya call it, it's just being honest with yourself and with your partner. People are people. We're both cursed and blessed with desire. Ya gotta have open lines of communication so if the situation arises, you can be honest about it and not feel the need to cheat. If you gotta cheat, you need to get out of your current relationship anyway.

prolly tmi.

[evilgrrl]

You know, the original question was "Is poly a good idea for most relationships?"

I think the answer is yes and no. No, in that I do believe it is more of an orientation than a chosen lifestyle (although it is that too), so it is definitely not for everyone. I would not want people to feel pressured to participate in polyamory any more than I like being pressured to participate in monogamy.

The other answer, yes, applies in a different way. A lot of poly philosophy amounts to "no one can be someone else's everything." So a lot of poly people have poly-flavored relationships with friends and family, rather than depending on a spouse or partner to fulfill ALL their needs. People used to get similar support from church and extended family.

We can tell a girlfriend about our heartbreak. We can confide in a brother about our job problems. We can have sex with a regular lover. We can play with a party buddy. We can move in with a best friend. We celebrate holidays with our parents. To that extent, many relationships could be thought of in poly terms.

Remember: it's all about more love, not less. :-)

[TheDeathKnight]

See, that kind of poly philosophy is the coolest one.

I think that is the idea answer, if people can pull it off.

But for most people, it's more about sex, and an open relationship.
And in those cases, it's best to keep it simple, unattached, etc...

But in true poly situations, where everyone is happy, loving,
and accepting, it can all work out really well. It's just hard to
find people who think that way...

[skully]

i know i've mentioned this elsewhere but i feel it is a very important point:

(at least to me)

it is very important to differentiate between polyamorous relationships and open relationships

the simplest definition i have been able to come up with is: if you are looking to be "IN LOVE" with multiple people then it is poly.



although the line can easily get blurred since peoples relationships are very dynamic and often don't fit simple definitions.

i think most people should have open relationships... relationships based purely on sexual satisfaction without the intent or desire for emotional longevity. more heartache is caused from cheating and/or the strains in a relationship due to feelings of restrictions. (i think monogamy is a choice you make because you want to, not because society says something is wrong if you want to sleep with someone other then your Significant other)

i also think there is nothing wrong with close friends sleeping together if they are able to balance that type of relationship. some of my closest friends are female friends who i have slept with. yet i am not friends with a single one of my ex's (civil yes but not friends) this paragraph is why i consider poly to be "in love" because while yes i love my friends and could have the benefits as well i would not consider myself IN love with them so i would not consider it to be a polyamorous relationship.

i don't think most people could handle polyamory

i'm sorry if this is a bit scattered its 4am

[Toe Cutter]

I can't find a dictionary definition of the word 'polyamory'. It's not in Websters or Oxfords Dictionary. I get the idea of what it is from reading what you all are talking about, but is this like a new word for swinger? Does the word 'polyamory' intend to give swinging some kind of a main stream appeal or something? I'm calling Noam Chomsky.

My partners and I are polyfidelitious, which means we have more than one partner, but it's a closed circle.

You made that word up didn't you?

[Toe Cutter]

Nevermind, I split the words apart.

Poly = many
Amore = Love (strong emotion)

I'm just going to pretend you all are saying it with an Italian accent, it will make this thread a little more interesting.

[Toe Cutter]

As for the actual question posed at the top of this thread:
It's not for me.

[Toe Cutter]

I am going to just keep on posting and posting and posting.

[Toe Cutter]

With a zillion people here why am I having a converation with my self?

[Toe Cutter]

*sniff, sniff*

I guess I'm just that uninteresting.

(Forrest, when you fix the board could you add the 'crying face' smile icon? I'd use that one right now)

[Toe Cutter]

So anyways, I'm titty-fucking this fat bitch, and she says to me *imitating annoying voice* "When are you going to make me feel good?". Then I say "Well Bitch, as soon as I cum I'm going to stop punching you in the face!"

[Toe Cutter]

I'm going to Roller-Derby tonight, It's the Carolina Roller girls vs. the Minnesota Roller Girls. North vs. South. Classic.

[Toe Cutter]

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See how her fingers have disappeared in his fur. Delicious!

[Toe Cutter]

That's a lovely table-cloth she's wearing.

[Toe Cutter]

FINE!

I'M DONE!

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!

*pouting*


BYE!

[Toe Cutter]

Ya' know what? I've been doing some thinking and I'm just not happy anymore. I'ts not you. It's me! Really! I'm sorry, but I want... I want... I want a divorce.

(insert 'cry face icon' here)

^ Actual conversation (abridged version)

[Toe Cutter]

Next Page Please!

[Toe Cutter]

How's this for a hijacked thread?

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MJ

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Look at how happy this kitty looks

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You gotta love that California sun-shine!

[Toe Cutter]

Am I technically "spamming" the board?

[Pull~My~Hair]

You gotta love that California sun-shine!

omg...thats so fucking wrong...she should've totally dies from skin cancer by now

[Toe Cutter]

She's got hot tits though!

[Pull~My~Hair]

[Pull~My~Hair]

She's got hot tits though!

yeah but look at the kid, even he knows how gross it is

[Toe Cutter]

[Pull~My~Hair]

ive been saving some good ones

[Toe Cutter]