Why, Why, Why

[Toe Cutter]

I know these are silly, but I had a laff reading them, a real bronx cheer!

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

I got this as an email an thought I'd share it with my internet friends

[Pull~My~Hair]

Why is the pillsbury dough boy so freaking happy when he has no genitals

[VoldtaEngler]

why do they call them apartments when they are stuck together?
If money is the root of all evil why do churches want it?

[Morning Glory]

are these supposed to be rhetorical?
oh well i'll answer them:

banks charge a fee cuz they can, and they are bastards.
they use sterile needles, not so much for the sake of the inmate, but for the sake of the process. i'm not sure how much of an effect having a contaminated needle would have on the process, but it's certainly enough to not make them do it, and it would give defense lawers and other vultures a chance to say that they aren't doing thier job right.
the reason that humans and apes still exist, is that humans didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from one group of ape-like creatures, and present day apes from another. this theory has some plauasible credibilty in the fact that we know there was a time when there were various groups of human-like creatures, some of which are not related to present day humans.
as far as the rest, most of them are just because people suck.

[Morning Glory]

oh yeah and tarzan was a metrosexual.

[Lady Alias]

oh yeah and tarzan was a metrosexual.

[Buster Friendly]

it's all about the lepord print diaper, baby...

[KilLAtomiK]

some people cant grow beards you ass

[TheDeathKnight]

Tarzan was asian?

[Morning Glory]

some people cant grow beards you ass

could this be a pirate without a beard? i've never heard of such a thing. this could be a sad day, sailor.

[mmmcherry]

HAH for a second i thought you were talking about tarzan... i was gonna say since when was tarzan a fuckin pirate??

[Umbilical Lotus]

Let me see if I can't shed some light.

- Banks want your money. They also deal in the ultimate insubstantiality of money. They understand that your account can go into negatives, and use this to make more profit for themselves, unheeding of where it comes from or if it even exists at all. They aren't concerned with YOUR finances, only theirs.
- Because if they don't, possible trouble could result. An unsterilized needle could interfere with the injection, and really, when you're dealing with something as legally and morally packed as killing someone in the name of justice, taking the bit of time it'll take to sterilize the needle is just smart, otherwise it might be able to be used as a loophole somewhere.
- Either he found jungle razors or was of mixed ancestry. Considering the fact that he was relatively hairless all over as well as leanly muscular, I'd guess he's an elf.
- Whoever made up the language the word "lisp" was based on.
- Two reasons: one, evolution isn't quick. Two, we didn't evolve from ALL apes. Evolution takes a fucking long time, and is dependant upon beneficial genetic traits being passed through offspring. As well, while the apes that would eventually become us were screwing their way to more developped speech centers, the apes that would become modern apes were screwing in order to become that.
- No idea. Bubbles naturally appear in water; the soap just holds them in their shape. The whiteness, I guess, are the impurities present in the water needed to make them bubble-shaped... plus, they aren't really white, you know. Blow a bubble and hold it up to your eye; an oily rainbow of colors will play upon the surface of the bubble before it becomes too structurally deficient to stay up.
- Probably. Depends on the perspective used. I assume there is a day in a certain town or city where there is not a mattress sale. In the world entire, probably not. Then again, keep in mind that right now, someone's fucking an animal. Too many people, too many things going on.
- They're not doing that because they think that something will suddenly appear; they're hoping either to see something they might have missed and want to eat, or make up their mind to eat whatever meager portions are stored within. They go away, going "damnit, nothing to eat". They stop, going "damnit, I'm still hungry". They turn back, going "might as well decide what to eat from what I have".
- Because rather than put it in the trash, they want it to go in the vaccuum. Also, when you run over something with a vaccuum several times, it may be pushed into the carpet. Smarter idea would be to just hold the vaccuum over the string and let it eventually get sucked up.
- It does with me. I don't know what you people are doing. There's a way to open everything, even if it sometimes requires a knife.
- Perspective. Bug-perspective is way different from ours. Being so small, and with bugged-out eyes, they see things much differently than we do. There are tiny cracks and openings that we might not be able to perceive that a bug can. Once inside, they fly around like idiots staring at the bright light until they die.
- Because that's rude. When someone bashes into your ankle with a shopping cart, it's usually a mistake. An apology signifies guilt or remorse over the mistake, and an "it's alright" signifies a dismissal of the mistake and closure on the event. If the person purposely rammed into you, though, feel free to bitch out.
- Contrast and body temperature. In winter, our bodies adjust to compensate for the lower temperature. Blood thickens, more calories are burned to generate body heat (hence winter foods being food that's generally heartier), so on and so forth. We retain heat more easily, accept it far less so. Thus, when we come in out of the cold, it can take a long-ass time for us to completely thaw out, as the cold has gotten into us and is being retained. Higher temperature needed to thaw quicker. Easier way is to soak cold extremities in warm water to open pores, though.

I like to talk :p

[KilLAtomiK]

could this be a pirate without a beard? i've never heard of such a thing. this could be a sad day, sailor.

i have a prety kick as mustache but alas no beard, not in my genetics