The Politics of Dish Washing

[Morning Glory]

The Politics of Dish Washing

CAPITALISM:
You wash the dishes, the ones who own them profit.

DEMOCRACY:
Even as a dishwasher, you deserve a say in which politician is best suited to protect the economy that keeps you in the kitchen.

NATIONALISM:
Forget those dishes for a second--you're a citizen of the proudest nation on earth!

LIBERTARIANISM:
You wash the dishes, the owners profit even more.

FASCISM:
The Mexicans who washed the dishes are deported, the Jews who owned the place are imprisoned, and everyone else is conscripted for military service.

UNEMPLOYMENT:
The only thing worse than being trapped in a dish room is being trapped outside one.

ANARCHISM:
We all share in the dishwashing.

NEOLIBERALISM (AKA "Free Trade"):
The dishes are shipped overseas to be washed and you're free to develop your own combination of Unemployment and Nationalism.

REFORM:
Smaller stacks, warmer water, longer breaks--same dishes!

SOCIALISM:
Dishwashers' wages increase just enough to afford higher taxes.

COMMUNISM:
From each according to his means, from each according to his need--as determined outside the dish room.

MARXISM:
Between shifts, the dishwasher studies the intricacies of dialectical materialism. It turns out that thanks to his efforts, the dirty dishes have been accumulating value for his boss to invest in more dishes. The stuff about the dictatorship of the proletariat is more perplexing, but the party theorists reassure him that it makes perfect sense to them. Under their direction, he joins his fellow dishwashers in a risky coup'de`tat. Afterwards he is distraught to find himself still in the kitchen, washing dishes for party bureaucrats. The bureaucrats reassure him that they will eventually wither away.

SYNDICALISM:
The dishwasher join labor syndicates that send representatives to a council, at which it is decided which dishes are to be washed and when.

FEMINISM:
You wash the dishes for your boss--who washes the dishes at home?

PRIMITIVISM:
Down with dishes!

PUNK:
Down with washing!

INSURRECTION:
A quixotic attempt to distill a political theory from the practice of smashing dishes.

[StolenName]

I prefer the machine does it .. unless all this applies to a really smart machine that's decided it needs a political view point?

[Morning Glory]

it's called SkyNET

[Kidthorazine]

that looks like it was wirtten by a neo-con, with little knowledge in political philosophy. and as far as i know most neo-liberals dont believe in free trade.

[Morning Glory]

yeah, some of it is a little skewed. I just thought it was amusing, not taken too seriously.

edit. but in the true spirit of liberalism, it does mean less government regulations and more power in the hands of private companies. I think it is using the term "neo" as a comparison to the liberal policies of commerce during the boom of the Industrial period. nowadays "Leftism" and basically all things that are not the republican party line get called liberal, but like I said, it think it's speaking from more pure politcal theory.

[KilLAtomiK]

UNEMPLOYMENT:
The only thing worse than being trapped in a dish room is being trapped outside one.
.

Aint that the truth

[Kidthorazine]

yeah, some of it is a little skewed. I just thought it was amusing, not taken too seriously.

edit. but in the true spirit of liberalism, it does mean less government regulations and more power in the hands of private companies. I think it is using the term "neo" as a comparison to the liberal policies of commerce during the boom of the Industrial period. nowadays "Leftism" and basically all things that are not the republican party line get called liberal, but like I said, it think it's speaking from more pure politcal theory.

true but then again it depends on how you look at it, nowadays "Liberal" is used to determine pretty much anything leftist which may or may not be for less regulation of companies.