I might not be the smartest person on the planet but how hard is it to predict the weather? Local TV meteorologists are just men and women who are easy on the eyes and have the desk closest to the window in the news room. I am convinced all these people do is logon to NOAA or the weather channel and regurgitate what some MIT grad has written in the first place. I will concede that there is a little skill involved on standing in front of a green screen and pointing at non-existent clouds and numbers, that someone pulled out of last night’s lottery drawing, which they hope the masses will believe will be an accurate portrayal of the temperatures that day. I think it took Bombo the alpha male chimpanzee at the Baltimore Zoo an entire morning to perfect it while maintaining a smile.
There is basically one report written and then picked up by other sites and so on and so forth. So why can you watch 4 different TV stations and get 4 different versions of the weather? Why not just save a lot of time and energy and just have these NOAA people do the weather for us anyway? Aren’t we paying taxes for these people?
Okay, I know what you are thinking. Why would I want to watch some old guy who looks like a cross between your grandfather and Ted Koppel tell me what he/she thinks the weather is going to be like today in my neck of the woods? Well, of course, I have a simple solution to that. We have something like 1 billion channels on cable and satellite now, correct? Why not take two channels, something like 200 & 201, and have them be the weather forecast?
They could put a little disclaimer in the scroll bar in the bottom that reads something like, “There are multiple models used to formulate a consensus on weather patterns in your area. This forecast has a margin of error of +_15%” or something like that.
But here is the best part. Instead of stodgy old folks who actually formulate the models, have doctorate degrees, decades of experience, etc. have a couple of hotties read the forecast. I am thinking Jessica Biel for the guys on channel 200 and someone dude on channel 201 for the 3 women out there who actually pay attention to the weather anyway. Please hold your applause to the end. I know Jessica Biel was an awesome choice and let’s face it there just isn’t enough Jessica Biel on TV even with the re-runs of Seventh Heaven weekdays at 6pm on the Family Channel.
This would really reduce the amount of stress in all of our lives. No more of complaining about the weather guy be wrong 60% of the time and still keeping his desk by the window. No more ‘Snow Teams’ when the locals sensationalize the 1” of snow that may fall in the area (but only give a 60% chance with a margin or error of 15%) which translates to, in statistical terms, “I don’t really know what the hell it is going to do but I hope you watch our news babe on Ritchie Highway instead of the other channel’s news babe in Timonium.”
To quote someone, somewhere, that I heard sometime, “You got a window? Open it!”
Bookmarks