What have you snarfed from work?

[Amelia G]

We've probably all had jobs where we felt abused. A friend of mine from college had this 12" called "You Take Stuff from Work." Henry Rollins famously said something along the lines of, "Sex, drugs, and office supplies should never be paid for."

What is the funniest stuff you have ever taken from an awful job?

[Velvet-Tongue]

At the store I worked at..all returned electronics without packaging would be thrown out! Which is an awful waste. So one day I felt the quiet cry of a small machine spirit and "rescued" a 2gb pen drive from the wast table .

That and pens..lots of pens. And an xacto knife.

They used to throw out so many amazing office chairs too. If I had a truck at that point I'd have a pile of 200 dollar chairs sitting in my office.

**Kudos on Snarfed..thats a new one to me

[Nudemuse]

Lots of pens, sugar packets, when I worked at Tower all sorts of random shit. When I worked in the Warner Bros. Store I snatched a shitload of Batman promo stuff for my little brother. Um, other random things. A phone (like big old school desk phone..known at home as the Bat Phone), when I worked at a clothing store where we ALL hated the owners, they made the mistake of telling us we could have "damages" for like 5$ or something. WE took to ripping a lot of seams.

[KilLAtomiK]

on my last day working as a shoe salesman i stole two pairs. i put them in a garbage bag since it was part of my job to take the trash out to the dumpster out back. Afterwork i drove behind the shop and picked up my loot r: oh and some shoelaces too

[keiko]

chocolate, lighters, pens, box cutters, a couple of glasses, a few t shirts, and famously a pizza pan. I "forgot" to take the pizza off the pan before i put it in the box to take home. key chains, and when i worked at sears, i took out with me a bunch of hte things that set off the security alarms and started sticking them in other ppls bags on thier way out, after i had been fired (for being wierd). lanyards, stickers, a stack of empty cases from EB. If i could stick it in my purse, i tried ot take it with me, esp since i'm never paid enough for my services.

~K

[Nudemuse]

chocolate, lighters, pens, box cutters, a couple of glasses, a few t shirts, and famously a pizza pan. I "forgot" to take the pizza off the pan before i put it in the box to take home. key chains, and when i worked at sears, i took out with me a bunch of hte things that set off the security alarms and started sticking them in other ppls bags on thier way out, after i had been fired (for being wierd). lanyards, stickers, a stack of empty cases from EB. If i could stick it in my purse, i tried ot take it with me, esp since i'm never paid enough for my services.

~K

AH HAHAAA I did the same thing when I quit Sears I totally forgot until you said that.

Most priceless was the fancy bra I put in this guys bag. That was funny.

[VoldtaEngler]

Working at Target and getting special access during holiday Xmas season, any backstock that didnt fit inside the store because of room space was out in PODS like trailers in the back parking lot with cameras.

We worked 1 person per trailer..and i usually got toys or electronics...so my worst i snagged was a mp3 player that i threw in the bushes out of camera site..then came back during the day time and picked it back up.

[motormenace]

Sex Toys, Lube, Condoms.....Oh, I was working at a sex shop.

[evilstonermonkey]

i once snarfed a smurf.
wait, what does snarfing mean again? :P

[KilLAtomiK]

what does snarfing mean again? :P

[Thistle Harlequin]

We've probably all had jobs where we felt abused. A friend of mine from college had this 12" called "You Take Stuff from Work." Henry Rollins famously said something along the lines of, "Sex, drugs, and office supplies should never be paid for."

What is the funniest stuff you have ever taken from an awful job?

This isn't really funny but here I vent: I'm still very upset about the owner of my shop (note I didn't call her my boss-- because she's never there or does anything for the shop as of late) But since I'm doing her work, and she doesn't do jack shit I don't feel she should be getting 50/50 so depending on how many piercings I do a day I'll tip myself one or two... just to be fair.

Besides that, the funniest thing I've ever taken is... euthanized mice (from when I worked at the lab)

[ObscureZan]

hmm...what have I taken? Pens...lots of pens...OO and a body marker once...and most famously for me...a tattoo machine! But that's when I worked at the old shop where the artists weren't nice and were a little too aloof for their own good....now I work at a better, smaller shop where everybody's tight and really nice

Although when I worked at my dad's office (I still do from time to time when he needs extra hands) I did take a syringe for a photoshoot O.o

[helcyon]

this isn't exactly "work" but...

I nicked a spade (digging thing) from prison once. I had to go there on the week-ends years ago so I chucked a nice new one over the wall while I was 'in" and the next day when I got "out" I simply picked it up and vamoosed. It is therefore a proven truth that prisons rarely rehabilitate and in fact are more likely to breed more crime if anything... just look at my example for which I have absoulutely no remorse, contrition etc. I'd do it again.

[helcyon]

i once snarfed a smurf.
wait, what does snarfing mean again? :P

haha you are well funny I've noticed

it is clear from your quote above that you had the right idea all along about what snarfing is and how appropriate that is with a smurf:

clearly.... SNARFING = SuperNatural ARse FuckING

[evilstonermonkey]

heh... dammit, sprung. oh well, in the wise words of Father Jack Hackett: "FECK ARSE!"

[bohoki]

those springy black binder clips