Joke: New Doctor

[Donald Rilea]

My therapist, who is having some on-going medical conditions of her own, sent me this in an e-mail just to-day.

Hope you enjoy the joke.



I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and
exhaustive

lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
"Do you
think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink scotch, beer or wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking,
or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even give a shit?"

[bohoki]

saw this one in the maxim magazine i'll paraphrase since i dont have the mag


doctor my balls are blue
the doctor says thats serius we'll have to remove them
the next day
doctor my penis is blue
the doctor says thats serius it will have to be removed
he asks how will i pee
the doctor says oh we attach a tube
the next day the guy says help the tube has turned blue
the doctor says hmm have you just bought new bluejeans?

[Donald Rilea]

saw this one in the maxim magazine i'll paraphrase since i dont have the mag


doctor my balls are blue
the doctor says thats serius we'll have to remove them
the next day
doctor my penis is blue
the doctor says thats serius it will have to be removed
he asks how will i pee
the doctor says oh we attach a tube
the next day the guy says help the tube has turned blue
the doctor says hmm have you just bought new bluejeans?

[evilstonermonkey]

A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
"Is Michael Jackson God?"

[Donald Rilea]

A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
"Is Michael Jackson God?"

Only in his own mind.

[Tinman]

Ratfl i thought morgan freeman was god? lol

[Donald Rilea]

Ratfl i thought morgan freeman was god? lol

Only in the flicks .