Don't mess with the Scots......

[Donald Rilea]

Got this joke from a ******* friend of mine this afternoon, and enjoyed it enough to pass it on here.

Hope y'all enjoy it, too.


A man was hiking through the hills in Scotland and stopped for a drink at a mountain stream. An old shepherd , rather tattered and worn, shouted to him:"Dinna take a draught oot o the riffle laddie,'tis poorly wi' the dregs o ma cattle."(Translates to: don't drink the water sir, it's full of cow shit) The man said, "I say old man , I'll have you know I'm an English gentleman, please address me in the proper English language you heathen."The shepherd replied, "I said ....use both hands.You will be able to get more in your mouth."

[One Eyed Cat]

Scotland will be holding a referendum on independence in 3 years. The Scottish National Party (not ethnic nationalist though) had a surprise victory in the recent elections. I respect the U.K., but I can't deny enjoying the fact that both sides of my underdog ethnicities may well now become sovereign in my lifetime.

JT

[evilstonermonkey]

a scotsman visiting canada decided one day to go to a national park, and was talking to one of the park rangers when he spotted a large animal nearby. "what the hell is that? he cried. the ranger calmly replied "thats a moose."
the scot was stunned. "if thats a bloody moose, how big are yer bloody rats?!"

[Donald Rilea]

a scotsman visiting canada decided one day to go to a national park, and was talking to one of the park rangers when he spotted a large animal nearby. "what the hell is that? he cried. the ranger calmly replied "thats a moose."
the scot was stunned. "if thats a bloody moose, how big are yer bloody rats?!"

This is an old vaudeville/music hall joke I saw done by the late Benny Hill:

"Had an uncle who once saw a billboard that said, "Drink Canada Dry". So, he left.