can you be friends with an ex?

[malcolm]

after all the rampants have stopped blasting and the body counts have been tallied....can you be friend wit an x?
most of my ex's i never wanna talk to or see again mainl cus i've tred to be social with them ad they always tryed to find a way to either ridicule me in public or tryed to get bak in my panties but i would really like to be friends again with my last ex. no hidden agenda or anything-just thought they were a cool person and i hate that our "relationship" got in the way of that. what d you think?

[drewblood]

Of course. You 'can' be friends with whomever you choose to be... it's really just a matter of whether or not it can still be a healthy relationship after a breakup. New boundaries have to be set and you have to be comfortable with your ex being intimate with other people, and so on....

I'm guessing if they're the type to intentionally ridicule you in public and you still think of them as a 'cool person', then there's some other issues going on.

[drewblood]

ps... it's ramparts

[malcolm]

ps... it's ramparts

o thanx. yeah-this one neve actually ridiculed me in public or nthing as far as i know and yeah-im fine with them being intimate with someone else. they found their prince charming and are planning to live happily ever after and i think that's great, they deserve to be happy.
it's not like i anna go out for rounders wth em or nothing-just be civil again

as far as on my side im fine wih it-i figure it's more about how they feel and if they don't wanna be friends that's cool too i guess. just wanted to throw out there there's no beef on my side.

[Mr Karl]

sure you can be friends with an ex

[TheDeathKnight]

It usually depends how bad the breakup was, and if you have bad feelings about it. If it was mutual, and no one did anything too horrible, it should be possible. Most people are just too much of assholes to each other, so you end up hating the other person. It's always better to get out sooner, so it does not get nasty. Getting out due to compatibility issues is not going to make the person hate your guts. But getting out by cheating, or being a total asshole, will prevent a future friendship...

[malcolm]

well, i think we all know who im talking about.
i just wanna bury the hatchet(s) and be friends again is all.

just hop didnt bun that bridge down.

[drewblood]

oh, and i'll also say that my answer above was your politically correct, Dr.Phil-esque response.

Personally....any relationship i've ever had that's been worth a shit has never survived into a friendship afterwards. i prefer to keep the pain, resentment, anger and frustration close.... it helps me move on. and i have plenty of friends. :-P

[malcolm]

thats probably good advice.

[malcolm]

thats probably good advice.

yknow what? youre right. maybe i should just shrug it off and be happy that theyve moved on instead of tryin to be buddybuddy with em.thanks,db.

[sunkarma]

Yes, you can. but they are EX's for a reason- so most of mine I tend to despise for some reason (ie: they cheated, lied, did something stupid). I am friends with them only if they have been ex's of mine for like 3 years or more. That's a good gauge for getting over whatever they did. I'm actually best friends with an ex of mine from like 9 years ago. It's wierd.

[eviltwin]

sunkarma is right, they are ex's for a reason. But, speaking for me, i'm friends with all my ex's. I was with them for a reason too.

[malcolm]

yeah-i think it's kinda moot to be friends with my ex but i just dont wanna be like all grrrrrrr and shit around me in here. it's not like ill be sharing secret decoder rings with em or anything. its out there though-thats all i can say. life's too short to be angr a former significant other....well, some of em.

ugh. this topicis way too fuckin after schol specal serious-someone say something funny? and not me funny but actualy funny. lol

[mmmcherry]

heh im friends with my ex... heh the only one ive got... his girlfriend hates my fucking guts cause im the most recent ex of his, but fuck her. she choses not to be my friend, so she loses out.

oh and malcolm... something funny? how do you catch a hamster?

sit in a dish and act like a sunflower seed. HAH

[malcolm]

ah.......that's better. now it doesnt feel so degrassi tng in here-not that i mind degrassi tng, it's actaly quite addictive.

[Baby_Switchblade]

I'm pretty good friends with one of my exes, and I didn't think it possible at first because things became a bit rocky while we were together.
And the fact that we had a sexual relationship, I thought it'd be impossible to just be friends afterwards but we're friends now and we talk a lot. Apparently I'm one of the only girls he can talk to that doesn't do his head in, lol.

There's a lot of history between us, and although he still really likes me, he's happy to be friends with me. He's accepted my new relationship and doesn't try to tempt me away from it or anything. He has never once lied to me or mistreated me, and that's a lot more than any of my other exes have going for them.

There's nothing suss about it, which is the best bit.

[malcolm]

thats cool. yeah-i dont think my ex should worry about me tryin to tempt them away cus that's sooooooo not gonna happen.

i hink we'll be cool.