A friend of mine is obsessed with this Guitar Hero III thing, and therein is a song by a band called DragonForce.
I will repeat this.
There is a band named DragonForce. That much in and of itself is cool. It conjures up 80s images of airbrushed pictures of steroid enhanced barbarians swinging axes at demons and dragons.
But it gets better.
They play metal.
Not nu-metal, screamo, hardcore, or punk infused stuff. Metal. They have long hair. They would not be out of place in spandex. In fact, I think they could be talked into wearing spandex pants and using a FUCKING HUGE lightshow.
The lyrics?
Oh, this is a good start. Flames and death mentioned very early on. And we have a foreshadowing of EVIL LAUGHTER.On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light,
In flames of death's eternal reign, we ride towards the fight.
When the darkness has fallen down, and the times are tough all right.
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight.
Fighting on for the steel - there we go. That means sword-swinging, not airy-fairy capping people from cars yo yo yo bo bo bo wocka wocka wocka sample sample bullshit. Or sitting in a room in a big sweater crying. SWINGING LARGE HUNKS OF SHARPENED STEEL. STEEL SO SHARP IT CAN CUT SOULS.Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, through the wastelands evermore,
The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the shore.
On the blackest plains in Hell's domain, we watch them as they go,
Through fire and pain, and once again we know...
And this establishes that they are SO BADASS THAT THEY ARE ABLE TO WALK THROUGH HELL RUNNING THROUGH ANYTHING THAT TRIES TO FUCK WITH THEM.
They can fly. THROUGH TEH POWER OF TEH METALZ0R THEY CAN FLY.So now we're flying we're free, we're free before the thunderstorm,
On towards the wilderness, our quest carries on.
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight,
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls...
And indeed, they are on a QUEST. When was the last time someone in the top 40 was on a quest? THEY WERE NOT. Kelly Clarkson was never on any quest in hell. And Sanjaya would not be allowed sharp objects, it would make him cry.
Wanna know how metal and badass these motherfuckers are? THEY FEEL THE PAIN OF A LIFETIME and are still riding through Hell kicking the shit out of demons with large badass motherfucking swords.So far away we wait for the day,
For the lives all so wasted and gone;
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days-
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0jgrCKhxE1s
Here comes a new generation of guitar shredders and drumlords, SHOWING THE WORLD THAT ONE CANNOT KILL THE METAL.
The Chinese feller needs to lose the dress shirt, but the little bugger can play, dammit. THEY EVEN MAKE VIDEO GAME SOUNDS. Like how METAL PEOPLE used to play IN FUCKING ARCADES headbanging to TEH METAL and defeating demons in GHOSTS AND GOBLINS.
AS SATAN INTENDED.
AND EVEN GOD APPROVES.
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