Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

[JokesFunnn]

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.

[evilstonermonkey]

i wonder if there was a link after that maybe... something like click here for further jokes and a virus thatll **** you so hard your children are impregnated! or get more jokes (and a self-destruct timer on your computer) here!

[helcyon]

oooo... lawyer bashing... constantly surrounded by literally hundreds and hundreds of 'em meself.... just can't resist so....

I'm informed that this is actual court-room dialogue... stop me if you've heard this:

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

[Lady Alias]

i wonder if there was a link after that maybe... something like click here for further jokes and a virus thatll **** you so hard your children are impregnated! or get more jokes (and a self-destruct timer on your computer) here!

[Velvet-Tongue]

oooo... lawyer bashing... constantly surrounded by literally hundreds and hundreds of 'em meself.... just can't resist so....

I'm informed that this is actual court-room dialogue... stop me if you've heard this:

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

rofl.

[OrganizedKhaos]

Yes, I'm a natural (dark) blonde... I dont get the original joke posted. If anyone could clarify it for me. I'm appreciate it.

[Velvet-Tongue]

Hope i'm not being lured into a trap.

But...you were drowning the lawyer. So to stop him from dieing you lift your foot off his head.

....Joke time from 8th grade.

A man is cheating on his wife with his beautiful secretary. They go at it long into the night and both fall asleep. When the husband awakes its nearly midnight and he panics "Shit fuck!...Hey..go take my shoes and rub them in the grass" "Why?" "Just do it!"

Guy rushes home and his wife meets him at the door "Where were you at? I almost called the police!"

The man frowns and says "Honey I can't tell you a lie. I've been sleeping with my secretary"

"Oh you big lier you...you were out playing golf again werent you?"

/crawls back into cave.

[Senior_Diablo]

lulz...i dont know any good lawyer jokes..sigh

[Tinman]

lol, oh and O k, thats a velvet tongue lol

there was a few lawyer jokes goin round after oj trial lol

u gotta love em, coz u cant legaly kill em,lol

[Senior_Diablo]

lol, oh and O k, thats a velvet tongue lol

there was a few lawyer jokes goin round after oj trial lol

u gotta love em, coz u cant legaly kill em,lol

if the glove dont fit, you must acquit

[Dusk]

If the glove fits, I killed it.

[Black Spiral Dancer]

To Clarify, the reason Sharks won't attack Lawyers...

Mutual respect for predators.

[Toe Cutter]

I just figured sharks wouldn't eat human waste.

[OrganizedKhaos]

Yes, I'm a natural (dark) blonde... I dont get the original joke posted. If anyone could clarify it for me. I'm appreciate it.

Sorry for being a smart ass... I was kidding.

[evilstonermonkey]

terrorists took over a courtroom this morning. if their demands are not met, they are threatening to release a lawyer every hour on the hour...