...someone you really enjoyed as a person but was physically unattractive?
Hehe, not trying to be too nervy by starting a new thread as a "junior member" and unknown person to most here... Just thought it was an interesting question.
...someone you really enjoyed as a person but was physically unattractive?
Hehe, not trying to be too nervy by starting a new thread as a "junior member" and unknown person to most here... Just thought it was an interesting question.
In a word, yes.
Making the baby is the smallest part of raising a kid...
-e
hasn't happened by now and I'm too old to want more
No? I wouldn't have kids with anyone, but I also wouldn't fuck someone that I didn't find attractive, so unless we're talking insemination that's an additional 'no'. And not the kind that turns things into a positive.
People I 'enjoy as people' can be my friends. Preferably on the internet, where it doesn't matter so much.
[/popular high school girl]
Y'know, I think I'm getting a bit prejudist against ugly people? It's just so horribly unfair, though, how the world is full of absolutely hideous individuals demanding my attention on account of the way I look while offering nothing of the sort in return. I mean, mediocre genes are one thing, but there's no excuse for not having any sort of style - other than that it's normal, which only makes me dislike them further.
I think the closest thing to 'offended' I have been this year was when one of the precious few cool 'altmodel' style girls we have here brought this horribly bland new boyfriend to a party, where he proceeded to glue himself all over her for the duration. I think it was how a racist must feel when seeing an interracial couple, or a person of classic western bigotry watching a pedo with a kid - almost moral indignation. Weird.
I'm with Raza on this one.
I don't fuck ugly people, and I don't want kids.
I also think it's funny when popped collar, Abercrombie & Finch type people make fun of me for looking a tad different(?) when they look the way they do. Puh-lease.
Having kids is presumably a lifetime commitment, so I would think you should only do that with someone who is your ideal life partner. Looking hot is a very unwise top priority for someone you think you are going to share the rest of your life with. Obviously, if you didn't find them attractive at all, I can't see what would motivate you to get in the sort of situation that would produce children though. Hopefully it isn't an either/or situation.
I kinda think that beauty is only skin deep. Living where I do and doing what I do, beauty and to a lesser extent style (unless I truly believe the person is responsible for his or her own style) impact me much less than they once did.
That said, I believe ugly goes to the bone. Not just for people who are physically unfortunate or have awful sense of style, but for people who are insecure about it and suspect they may be ugly (even if they are not.)
Looks are far from my top priority, but they are still on the chart and sex appeal does matter too. But ugly is a dealbreaker.
Beauty is subjective. I like filthy and ugly things so what I find attractive in a women most don't. Genetic attraction is very real and you do want to make good babies so you are attracted to the type of women you want to have a good mix. I know I did it twice with my sexy wife.
So true after 18 years of being with her she still makes me hot as can be.
I realy would love it to be a Father! and I ever dreamed about me having kids.
But the reality shows a big HELL NO!!
Don't get this wrong, I love kids and I would be so good damn proud to be a father and be married to a lovely angel!
But the Reality, FUCKING, is:
In THIS Germany, where NOONE has a chance for himself to survive (too less money, jobs and hope) I would NOT make a baby and ruin its live like my parents ruined myn!!!
I love my dad and my mum - no question about it!
But I was born in the late 80's. When EVERYBODY had ENOUGH money, jobs and HOPE!!!
After this bullshit named "die wende" 1989/1990 Germany got more and more and more screwed by those people that are called "politics"!
It makes me so damn sad to face this truth!!!
But in a Germany with pure NOTHING - I won't make or create another(!) hopeless child!
TOO MUCH Brutality, Abusing, Thefting, Hating, Rascism in Germany!
The only reason to be proud of this country is to believe that someday it all changes with a big big BANG!
2012-Dec-22nd... Maybe the date...
I used to feel the same way about having kids. Both me and my wife met and did not want kids. After many years we both realized that we needed to have a child despite all the bullshit in the world. Personally, I just wanted to pass on my genes and have a child with a women I love so much. I think at some point your rational mind loses out to the overwhelming desire to procreate with the person you love. I really think that for us it was something that had to happen. I can tell you this I hope my children are as subversive as I am in the end. I want to raise them as free thinking individuals. Even now my little girl has denied Jesus and is practicing magic and believing in reincarnation. I can tell you that having kids has made me a better and more unique person. Its a heavy issue and getting older it is more important to me than most things in life now. Seeing my kids grow as people is very inspiring to me. Its not easy having kids, but I can tell you that the sacrifices are worth it.
Yes! These days, I don't look at women and say, "I wonder what she is like in bed." I now find myself saying, "I wonder if she is nice... what has she experienced in life... does she get along with her mom.... Is she good with pets..." etc...
Yes! And some of the prettiest girls I have ever met have been sooo ugly on the inside... or have seen themselves as ugly and act accordingly. That was quite a pisser of a revelation when I was in my 20s
I know, right? A lot of the time these groups of kids doing their theatrical 'Ewww!'s and phony laughs when you pass by are really hideous and style-less, even in normal-people's terms, and I find myself having a double-take because it sounds so ludicrous coming from them.
I guess they've got more reason than anyone to look for people to place below themselves in their own mental pecking orders, though.
Mmm. In subcultural styles though, beauty also speaks of both technical and social obstacles overcome to get there. Certainly they're as much cultural as they are countercultural and have chains of validation and peer pressure of their own, and the realization of our ideals of creation over consumption leaves much to be desired, but compared to mainstream fashion (or the absolutely zero-threshold 'natural beauty') the ratio of people whose judgment you'll have to endure compared to those available to learn and take heart from is such that all major success will have required at least some courage and own input.
No one should be doing any fucking. You sinners need to cleanse yourselves of your vile genitalia. Castration is the first step to salvation.
^^^^^^^^^^^+1. Lol.
That being said, I dont want kids ever. If I do, I'll adopt
Yeah, I figure that if I wanted kids, I'd be one of those guys who spends time with my friend's kids,
or wants to hang out at "family" type events. But I much prefer spending time with adults.
Some people just have a natural desire to breed. Others don't. I've never felt the need or desire to do so.
As far as attractiveness goes, I think it's subjective.
When I was younger, I only wanted to date really hot women.
But once I did actually get to be with some models/actresses,
I found out how vapid and annoying they were. From that
point on, I started looking at attractive personalities. Girls
who had things in common with me, good sense of humor, etc.
It's great to want to fuck the shit out of someone because you
think they are insanely hot. But that can't sustain a relationship
for more than a few months. I just tend to find most highly
attractive women to be very demanding. Financially demanding,
emotionally demanding, etc.
Besides, what defines "beautiful"?
What we on Blueblood consider attractive, other people might think is ugly.
What totally normal people find attractive, we might find ugly...
Standards of beauty have changed over the years, and will continue to do so.
What was hot in the 1800's is different from now, and the 1900's were
also different. And now things change even in a decade. People like Kim
Kardashian suddenly make people think big butts are sexy, when in the
1990's, only small butts were considered sexy. It can happen that fast...
I am guessing those of you who only go for "attractive" people will realize
10 years from now, that they are no longer as attracted to the types of people
they are attracted to right now. It will be something new...
With respect, I think these wisdoms of not going for beautiful lovers are rationalization. Personality and looks are separate, distinct traits; a beautiful person is no less likely to have a pleasant personality than an unattractive one - where you find what is mostly chance. And the only relevant kind of beauty is the one defined by your tastes; changes in the standards of society at large aren't really relevant if you can resist adopting ideals out of TV and magazines. Plus, finally, I would hardly expect any lover of mine to keep the same look for a decade; if your tastes do change, so can your appearance. Spending a lot of intimate time with someone all but guarantees that they'll come to like some of the things you like and vice versa, and presumably you started out in each other's general vicinity.
Moreover, the only way to have a shot at a lover with a continuously positively developing look is to go for someone who gives a damn in the first place. Someone that isn't making anything out of themselves in their twenties will most likely only degrade over time.
I seriously can not do the kid thing. My momma bugs me daily about wanting a grandchild but none of my sisters nor I want kids in fact all 3 of us are very awkward with and around children. I'm quite grateful my husband doesn't want babies, I'm totally off the hook, I'll leave it up to everyone else to populate the planet
Attractiveness is subjective, but you definietly want to be attracted to someone if you're planning on having a kid. At least if your planning on staying with this partner. Due to it being subjective though, you might think that your partner is godlike while all the other people in the world thinks of this person as resembling a mutated frog. I knew this one girl who was soooo into this one guy. She thought he was drop dead gorgeous. She married him as quick as she could and they had a whole gaggle of kids....But, let me tell you...Everybody else thought this guy was hideous. Doesn't matter though what everybody else thinks. It only matters what you think and what you find attractive...and besides, I tend to see alot more good looking kids produced by a pair of ugly parents than I see when two pretty people procreate.
This is so true Ajax!I tend to see alot more good looking kids produced by a pair of ugly parents than I see when two pretty people procreate.
I got ugly covered then lol
Nope, would you?
To mrwriter, I don't think I would... Mostly because I am recently married to a hot, sexy (and smart and talented and all that good stuff!) woman.. And yeah, I am way lucky. Believe it, I look like a dork in just about anything but she looks great in a corset and boots
You're lucky that heterosexual girls don't have a whole lot to choose from.
Aesthetic double standards FTL
A lot of men have had sex in me but i will never produce children for them.
How would that give them the upper hand? They'd only get to select 'yes' or 'no' to options initiated by males. It's a good thing nobody actually has to stick to that.
What I'm saying is that good looking, stylish males are almost nonexistent. A guy with a good facial structure that does minimal maintenance is considered a catch; one that isn't fat and doesn't smell too horrible a readily accepted middle ground. The bar is much, much higher for females. If you see an unkept female with a lover, it probably means the guy made a conscious choice about not finding looks too important. Unkept males get accepted by default, for sheer lack of alternatives, and in fact often expect to be viewed as equally desirable without doing jack shit for it. I hold that against them somewhat.
Yes, but it also depends on what woman are looking for physically. Do they want more what is considered a metrosexual man? I usually find that woman think it's quite disturbing if their man is spending more time at the spa or in front of a mirror than the girl. I think on paper it all looks nice about wanting a guy who's fashionable, watches what he eats, lifts weights, watches out for blemishes, ect., ect.....Until the woman snags a guy like that. Than the women start having a problem with him spending so much time on himself. Woman tend to want to be the "pretty" ones in the relationship and not the other way around. And I think you're right about the facial structure thing, but that also goes for men looking for women. A woman with a good facial structure tends to be more wanted than a woman with say, a roundish face and most of the times in both cases, it's just good genes.
Any cultural standard is going to have supporters among people that aren't comfortable with the unusual or unexpected. This is not a sign of virtue, just a psychological mechanic that'd have applied the same to any ridiculous thing to become mainstream.
'Sides, I've never had a girlfriend express those sentiments, and I make metrosexuals look like marines on the third day of a mission. Possibly because the alternative circles I socialize and romance in are unusually progressive, but frankly, I've only ever heard a female voice those preferences when they were already in a relationship with some average-or-worse looking guy - at which point their neutrality becomes suspect.
I would never want to be in a relationship with a person that spent a lot of time and energy on their appearance; I would find it tiresome.
Obviously, but my standards are unusual here primarily for being unisex, so the only major difference is elimination of a double standard.
It's not that I fail to appreciate 'masculine' beauty; it's that masculine behavioral standards aren't geared for personal beauty. I can wax eloquent about the the aesthetics of stuff you find in a hardware store as much as the next guy - and I appreciate good male facial features, a muscle-toned torso and the sexual power of a nice cock as much as the next girl. But how many male weapon or tool enthusiasts look as good posing with their collection as a typical female does wearing the shoes she fussed over similarly? The problem remains that if you view all these standards in anything but isolation from one another, males score abysmally in realizing existing ideals in their person.
But these men are scoring abysmally low in a competition they are not, and indeed have no interest in, partaking in. Why would they be posing with their hammer or gun in the first place? They are not male models. The object of their interest is the artefact itself, it’s function and utility, it’s power and only then it’s appearance. In your example only the women has an object who’s primary significance is adornment. This speaks less of double standards and more of a difference in motivation between sexes.
Bookmarks