Goth Boys VS Normal Boys

[MistressJennifer]

Number one, goth boys are much more POLITE, and they NEVER tell dirty jokes!!! They usually speak very well and are quite sophisticated. Usually, goth boys are not into sports. Goth boys tend to have an innate sense of kinkiness, you do not have to explain things to them...They just KNOW... Goth boys are more sensual, I think in general. However, they tend to take more drugs, so that can be a bit inhibiting. THey also tend to be broke/and or jobless or live with their parents.

Normal boys tend to have jobs, and money, BUT they are so blatent about sex. They don't really understand the whole style and theatre of kinkiness the way that goth boys do. And you can't explain it to them.

OH, and here in New York, you have the Italian goth boys, (Italian goth boys are very pretty), and they are an interesting mix of Catholic guilt and machismo. To make up for this, they tend to be very artistic, which makes them interesting.

[Sceptic_Messiah]

wow u just described me....except for the drugs part

[MidniteCliche]

I agree, but you forgot to mention the horrid little goth boys who are simply suburban whiny rebellious brats, who just want to make mummy and daddy cranky. In general, they lack maturity and culture.
Now, "gothic" men, I can handle, for all those reasons mentioned...

[KilLAtomiK]

as a non goth boy i find this here thread biased the only thing right was the part about having a job and the small jock in me that enjoys a good game of football.Altho i dont show it on tese boards im quite well spoken, people tell me im very artistic because i like to draw and paint and i dont do drugs except for the ocacional pint.

[skully]

well i can say i fall right smack dab in the middle. i like participating in sports but dislike watching. i can be very polite but i ALWAYS tell dirty jokes.(i fully admit a person without a sense of humor gives me the heebegebees) i am sophisticated enough to be able to talk to a ceo or such but i can also walk into the ghetto and not get my ass kicked. i'm not broke nor jobless but i do live with my parents (by choice) and have no intention of staying any longer then neccesary to finish school (if not sooner)

but the question is do i consider myself gothic??? hmm well i guess only as much as i would consider myself irish, while it does play a major role in my life i am not limited to it... but just as i am also italian i have plenty of denim jeans and popular brands of clothing which i do wear on occasion, the one thing i do know for sure is that i am not what people consider normal... i've tried never have never will. i can play the part well enough to get around but i will never be comfortable in that role. nor will i be comfortable in any ROLE... life is just way to complicated for that.

so i guess in the battle of goth boys vs norm boys i am somewhere on the fence

[GasmaskGirl]

goth guys, like anyone, can be all different. Some are meek and polite, some are show-offs and loudmouths. Some are doing it because they have no friends except a few goth girls and they let them dress them up that way (trust me)

[CPRB]

I have never heard such tripe, god would I scare you I don't look like a goth, I don't look like a punk, I don't look like a normal boy, I say May I and Please and thankyou but you mess with me and the things that come outta my mouth would make a pirate blush Just ask a our resident pirate. I like to be phyiscally active because it's good for me. I hold doors open for women, I paint and I draw. I find most goth boys to be depressing sniviling whiny individuals. I don't partake or align myself with anyhting, I do my own thing on my own terms. as for my sexual appetite... When I think of gothic I think of strong men with strong self discipline who are well rounded and sophisticated not skinny little twigs dressed in black staring at thier feet. as for goth women I think of strong self motivated compassionate independent women that can make one hell of a herbal remedy and at the same time can whap you with a hellacious left hook can dance like a beautiful stream and walk the walk and have all beauty and graces but when it comes to belching...they put a man to shame....maybe because of my study in art I think gothic= Strong disciplined well balanced creative design....undefineable but breathtaking..sure there are give aways in the line and so on and so forth.....anyhow...

[KilLAtomiK]

mess with me and the things that come outta my mouth would make a pirate blush

hes right about that

[Kidthorazine]

i kinda fit ur goth stereotype only i make dirty jokes all the time only mine are much more subtle and tounge in cheek

[CPRB]

for that you get the ship of yer choice..we have a lovely XBEC frigate witha french cut that goes like lightning...

[TheDeathKnight]

Switching to females, I find it interesting that I tend to find gothic girls attractive, because people who show a gothic look, or punk look, tend to be people who are not into "traditional" ideas or activities. And that is why I find them attractive. It's not like a goth girl's body is any more or less hot that some regular girl's body. But a regular girl would not be into the things I am into, and would not accept the ideas and the lifestyle. So that is why I find them attractive... I'm guessing some of the same things drive female attraction to goth guys? They are showing that they probably do not like sports, traditional lifestyles, etc... It's an advertisement of your open-mindedness. Even if very normal looking people can be just as open-minded, just as kinky, etc. It's an advertisement, when you look that way as well... It's not needed, but it helps other people to recognise you as such, and it is an outlet for creative self-expression.

[GasmaskGirl]

it used to be like that for me too, however, i find more and more that people who dress "goth" aren't really into the same things I'm into at all. They're more into hanging out at the mall and wasting all their money on thier image. At least the ones around here are.

I like nerds with no particular "image" whatsoever

[cOrE_dUmPeR]

i kinda fit ur goth stereotype only i make dirty jokes all the time only mine are much more subtle and tounge in cheek

Totally true. I've been in this scene longer than I care to remember and the boys tell just as many dirty/tasteless jokes as the normal boys. They just tend to be a little more subtle and clever about them.

[TheDeathKnight]

it used to be like that for me too, however, i find more and more that people who dress "goth" aren't really into the same things I'm into at all. They're more into hanging out at the mall and wasting all their money on thier image. At least the ones around here are.

I like nerds with no particular "image" whatsoever

I guess it;s true that most of the "goth" people I hang out with are not all that wild looking. But enough to make it obvious that they do not care to fit in with Abercrombie clothes, etc... Looking normal is a pretty serious turn-off. But looking "casual" is fine. But there is just something about a wild-looking girl with tats and colored hair, etc... And it is not about the body, etc. It is about a sense of wildness, not caring about things, etc... It's an appealing image, even if not all of them actually live and think that way.

[purplepixie]

Goth boys treat me like crap!!! the drugs seem to kind of take precidence shame because I'm not attracted to "normal boys"

[TheDeathKnight]

Yeah, the whole drugs/psycho aspects often turn that initial physical attraction into repulsion pretty quick...

[Tequila Zaire]

If you say so darlin...I've meet goth guys of all styles...from the kind that sound like you've described to arrogant fucks that need and got severe beatings.

No style or scene magically makes everyone act the same...

[OliX]

MistressJennifer, mixure of these two stereotipes is best good looking italian artist into gothic style who has a job. It's like prince on white horse, in this case black horse

I like more gothic culture because fantasy, epic fantasy and I was allways atracted by gothic age, when I was younger I listened lot to dark music, being so called "darker" and then.... It seems that I was openminded (hopefuly I'm sti)l and I tryed everything and took that what fits me most... music is what guided me... with music you never can feel unhappy

[Nautilus]

Number one, goth boys are much more POLITE, and they NEVER tell dirty jokes!!! They usually speak very well and are quite sophisticated. Usually, goth boys are not into sports. Goth boys tend to have an innate sense of kinkiness, you do not have to explain things to them...They just KNOW... Goth boys are more sensual, I think in general. However, they tend to take more drugs, so that can be a bit inhibiting. THey also tend to be broke/and or jobless or live with their parents.

Normal boys tend to have jobs, and money, BUT they are so blatent about sex. They don't really understand the whole style and theatre of kinkiness the way that goth boys do. And you can't explain it to them.

OH, and here in New York, you have the Italian goth boys, (Italian goth boys are very pretty), and they are an interesting mix of Catholic guilt and machismo. To make up for this, they tend to be very artistic, which makes them interesting.

Heh heh you must be a world away form me (you are on the east coast and I on the west, I suppose). Goth boys here are sex joke after sex joke and they all want to get laid--by ANYTHING on two leggs. That's the way I like 'em! Goths living with parents is more rare though, maybe it's the high "kick out" rate!

[Morning Glory]

I think we should fight.

[GasmaskGirl]

I guess it;s true that most of the "goth" people I hang out with are not all that wild looking. But enough to make it obvious that they do not care to fit in with Abercrombie clothes, etc... Looking normal is a pretty serious turn-off. But looking "casual" is fine. But there is just something about a wild-looking girl with tats and colored hair, etc... And it is not about the body, etc. It is about a sense of wildness, not caring about things, etc... It's an appealing image, even if not all of them actually live and think that way.

Ah yes, but don't be fooled into thinking the "wild" looking tattooed goth girl doesn't give a shit what people think about her...... Why do you think she looks that way in the first place? The only kinds of people who truly don't give a shit what people think about them are the fat-asses in jogging pants and food-stained t-shirts.

I used to be impressed when I'd see a really gothed or punked-out person until I learned that 90% of them look that way because they're extremely fucking vain, spend WAY too much time on their appearance, and in fact DO care what everyone thinks of them and are desperately trying to fit in to a certain culture because it makes them feel like they belong to something elite. Very rarely do you come across a completely rad looking decked-out punk or goth person who isn't obsessed with their own self-image. Just because it's not Abercrombie and Fitch doesn't mean it's not just as bad. Same sheep, just a different shepherd.

Perfect example is my ex-roommate's girlfriend. She looks like Hot Topic threw up on her. Her and her friends dress pretty crazy, wild dyed hair, great big buckle boots and mesh outfits, goth makeup, black everything, etc.. But they are completely clueless. The music and the literature and the actual history and meaning behind everything is lost on them - all that matters is "Do i look hot in this awesome mesh shirt" and "What colour am I going to dye my hair this week?". I try having a conversation with them about anything halfway intelligent but they're too preoccupied with their hair and clothes and image and blowing their entire week's paycheque on clothes from Hot Topic.

edit: i know you basically summarized what i said in your post. i just felt like going off on a rant :P forgive me

[Morning Glory]

you tell it sista!

[MistressJennifer]

I totally agee with you Purple Pixie about the drugs taking precidence. It's really difficult to accept that someone cares about drugs more than anything else. I still can't really understand that. A lof of my friends and lovers have sort of disappeared into this dark drug world. I can't even FIND my girlfriend. No one knows where she is.

Oh and I also totally agree with Gasmask girl about girls who just sort of dress up and don't really care about anything else but the clothes. I know LOTS of girls like that.

And also, I will ammend my statement about Goth boys never telling dirty jokes. I guess they just don't tell ME dirty jokes...

[TheDeathKnight]

Yeah... You may be right...

I guess it's because ever since my first GF, I always love girls who will do anything, not care what people think, and generally act however they want, and do strange things, just because they feel like it. Those types of girls I like, are not always goth or punk. Several of them looked pretty damn normal. But they often have that personality. The main attraction, is the idea that they will not be overly concerned with fitting in with normal ideas of fashion, recreation, sexuality, etc... I just do not like being with, or having friends, that are too much into wanting to be "normal". That is just the main thing that turns me off. So if I see an amazingly hot girl, but she is wearing only the trendiest fashions of the day, I know she cares about fitting in with society. And I do not care how hot she is, I am not interested. But someone with a less than perfect body, wearing some random wild outfit they made themselves, from the thrift store, shows me that she is into being creative, and does not care if "normal" people like it or not. That's the part that I am drawn to. Not the actual look, or fashion, or body type. It's the idea that she is comfortable with not fitting in with society. I would not like someone who is overly vain, or concerned about what "goth" culture thinks about their look. I would want someone who just likes to be creative, and likes to be expressive, and is not overly concerned with what other people think. Vanity and fashion naziism does not fit the bill...

[Lucius Andro]

I would definately consider myself a "goth". I have an innate passion for anything dark and/or sexual; not evil, mind you. I have been considered many a time the 'sophisticated goth.' I do have a job, I must admit I have money, I wear all dark clothing -most of which fall under 'casual' or 'dressy'- to match, I am very articulate and polite to new people and females... And adding contrary to the original post, I am physically active with my extensive studies in martial arts, I tell many dirty jokes and have a very crude/cruel/dry/offensive sense of humor... I must say aside from myself at least 80% of other so called "gothic" males are posers - in it for the show or the pathetic visual whining of wannabe-depressed idiots that smoke a lot of cannabis. I think if you find well-educated, well-mannered, but most of all mature male goth, you have found a good match to any true goth female.

[CPRB]

GaskMaskGirl my my I don't feel so alone anymore after the things you say I thought I was the only one who thought this way....I guess there's hope in this world huh?....DeathKnight as welll oh happy happy joy joy.....

[Nautilus]

I used to be impressed when I'd see a really gothed or punked-out person until I learned that 90% of them look that way because they're extremely fucking vain, spend WAY too much time on their appearance, and in fact DO care what everyone thinks of them and are desperately trying to fit in to a certain culture because it makes them feel like they belong to something elite. Very rarely do you come across a completely rad looking decked-out punk or goth person who isn't obsessed with their own self-image. Just because it's not Abercrombie and Fitch doesn't mean it's not just as bad. Same sheep, just a different shepherd.

Maybe they just want to get laid

[shev]

The plan here is to revive this four-week-old thread and say something, then for stage two I'm gonna make a pass at someone who seems to have a boyfriend/husband.

Stage 1: I like people who wear lots of political buttons, like on the strap of their messenger bags or something. The way I figure it, turning yourself into a walking billboard for a cause you support means you're willing to talk about things like that. Super-feminist granola-girl doves and pro-war xenophobic Cornucopian economists alike, I like spending time with people who have causes and speak for them. Tearing arguments down and having them torn down in turn is always cool.

Stage 2:

I like nerds with no particular "image" whatsoever

Marry me?

Kidding - I checked your site out a while ago and saw the picture. That rules, though. Have any friends like that?

[HolstenEisenschwein]

thats all fucked up shit. We are what we are. Hate categories!!!!! Gothboys are . . . . blablabla. thats only shit. small-spirits!!! You can`t put me in any categories.
and I must improve my English, dont`have the right words for my thoughts.

[shev]

and I must improve my English, dont`have the right words for my thoughts.

Sprechen Sie auf Deutsch - moeglicherweise kann ich uebersetzen. ;D

[Forestghost]

I have to agree with the whole "hating categories" thing. Categorization is what made me a supposed outcast in highschool...I refused to fall into any category. I feel that if you don't have the time to get to know a person individually, then you have no right to say anything about them. People fall into groups, yes, but that doesn't mean anything, it's just a reflection of one or two similar interests or looks.
An example: I thought for the longest time that every blonde haired, skinny girl at my university was a complete bitch...I only thought that because I was following stereotypes (categorizing people) but when I examined what I was doing, I realized it was wrong and chose to smile more often at individual blond-skinny girls. It turned out that I found some friends who were intelligent, sweet and friendly. I don't choose to look like they do, or act like the do when in groups, but as individuals, some people actually expand beyond categories and stereotypes.

In general, I think everyone on this board is pretty cool, and most have similar interests as me, but I would never categorize everyone as being cool or otherwise until I got to know them as individuals!

Anyway, enough rambling on a 4 week old thread...ciao for now

[hewhoisagod]

Number one, goth boys are much more POLITE, and they NEVER tell dirty jokes!!! They usually speak very well and are quite sophisticated. Usually, goth boys are not into sports. Goth boys tend to have an innate sense of kinkiness, you do not have to explain things to them...They just KNOW... Goth boys are more sensual, I think in general. However, they tend to take more drugs, so that can be a bit inhibiting. THey also tend to be broke/and or jobless or live with their parents.

Normal boys tend to have jobs, and money.

I guess I'm a combination of both. The ones in the midwest are pretty much like that, except for the usual asshole that's trying to get laid all the time.

[grebo]

dont ever categorize people into boxes because one day youll be shocked to find youve been boxed in by others

[Thurbane316]

dont ever categorize people into boxes because one day youll be shocked to find youve been boxed in by others

Hear hear!

I've known goths who are utter @$$holes, and I've known bogans* who are salt of the earth. Subcultures attend to attract certain personality types more than others, but ALL subcultures have their share of oxygen thieves.

Bottom line - judge people as individuals; not by their clothes, taste in music or profession.

*I'm not sure what the American equivalent of the Aussie term bogan is - maybe redneck, or trailer trash.

[keiko]

Number one, goth boys are much more POLITE, and they NEVER tell dirty jokes!!!

We must know different goth boys. WAY different goth boys. Yo upaint a very pretty picture, but, and this is not applicable to ALL goth boys or normal boys or anything for that matter, the goth boys I know well enough to claim I know them not only tell alot of dirty jokes but have a tendancy to be rather crass and vulgar. I will give them this though, they are actually much more mature and observant and do have at least a modicum of tact, ocassionally, than the average "normal" human being. But they too are shallow and obsessed with them selves. Any one who dresses that well is either gay or in love with them selves. Maybe I should move to where your goth boys are....
K

[MistressJennifer]

We must know different goth boys. WAY different goth boys. Yo upaint a very pretty picture, but, and this is not applicable to ALL goth boys or normal boys or anything for that matter, the goth boys I know well enough to claim I know them not only tell alot of dirty jokes but have a tendancy to be rather crass and vulgar. I will give them this though, they are actually much more mature and observant and do have at least a modicum of tact, ocassionally, than the average "normal" human being. But they too are shallow and obsessed with them selves. Any one who dresses that well is either gay or in love with them selves. Maybe I should move to where your goth boys are....
K

Yes, New York people in general I think are a bit different from California or LA people. I have lived in both places.

LA is another country in itself!! I used to live in LA. Yes the goth boys are very different,compared to California boys in general. I think it has something to do with the Catholic upbringing in California everyone is a Bhuddist or something like that!!(Don't laugh, I USED TO BE A Bhuddist, and I used to chant. I was about 14. I am from Mill Valley,California so it figures).

And then when you get into ENGLISH boys, well, that is an entirely new thread...

[Lucius Andro]

I think perhaps the type of goths we all speak of on our own personal criteria change somewhat with our surroundings/location. New York differs greatly to Los Angelos and both are white against my black area of the Twin Cities. Here a goth should feel at home with the seasons (at least for 3/4 of the year). It is generally overcast dim/dull/dark for 6-8 months throughout the year with rain, drizzle, sleet or snow accompanying much of this. Heavier, darker clothes go well with this and I tend to see more 'goths' here than any other part of the States I have been to. Anyway I am rambling now; I simply wanted to cast a new idea into this thread.

[Morning Glory]

If people who live in a certain place are therefor a certain way it is only because they are the kind of shallow pricks that we've been discussing. I'm sick of all this locationist stereotyping, it's as bad of a label as anything else. No one is a product of thier environment, which is not to say that your surroundings don't have influence over your overall character, but you are in no way limited to those close influences, and if you don't seek any outside definition, that is your own flaw in charcter, and only demonstrates your shallowness.

Of course this is not applicable to religious and facsist states that horribly opressive their citizens and are forced to live by thier narrow cultural confines, but it is true of anyone living in any of the 1st world countries, and you know who you are.

[Lucius Andro]

It seems most of this previous post was directed toward me. This thread implies jugdement of character and tendencies in attire, not criticism on judement itself or any subjects pertaining to it. 'Posers' who define themselves through what they wear and the facade they paste to their exterior would mold themselves to a certain tangible judgement given due to outside influences. What I posted previously was a suggestion of another possible influence, not a proprietary variable in some supposedly ignorant speculation. If this thread remains about this thread from now on, it would be most appreciated. Being 'shallow' is being open only to personal beliefs or current knowledge. Introspective for the previous, prestigious, sophisticate, perhaps? Humor; mind me not.

[LrdSatanas]

Im definitly a goth man... I used to do lots of drugs now i smoke a little weed ever so often. An I definitly have trouble keeping a job. Definitly stoiped fighting with mom and dad a long time ago. Now I just try to be outside the box. Waiting for the zombies. God damn zombies. there already walking around im just not allowed to kill them yet. Can't wait roflamo.