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Thread: Chuck Norris

  1. #1
    evilassmaster's Avatar Exiled
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    Default Chuck Norris

    seriously, is there an episode of Walker Texas Ranger in which he does NOT assist in the birth of a child?

    I've only seen 3 episodes here in France, in which EVERY TIME towards the end of the action sequence, THE MOTHER GOES INTO LABOUR.

    --> which has been enough to arouse my curiosity concerning how much a TV series can be cliche and pseudo-heroic...not to mention the immortal Chuck, who is clearly a god among men and who apparently hasn't shaved since the 70's... that's how much he rules.

    has anyone seen his brother? he produces the whole thing and acted in a few of them I think. he's even more manly (if that's possible).

  2. #2
    killerkat's Avatar Malice?
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    i'm sure watching that show is bad for your health....


    be carfull with that stuff,bud,you can OD pretty easy,and i hear recovering form a Chuck norris od is real rough .....

  3. #3
    Baby_Switchblade's Avatar Candy Perfume Girl
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Ewww, Chuck Norris... that guy creeps me out. I think I saw a clip of that show ONCE (which was more than enough), PLUS he does a cameo in the film 'Dodgeball', PLUS he does infomercials to push exercise equipment... *shudder* Chuck Norris in gym gear.... yuck.

  4. #4
    Rockwulf's Avatar Negatory
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    I love when Conan pulls the "Walker lever" and they play some clip that I'm sure was insane to begin with but is even more insane out of context. It's hillarious.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris is the man...simple as that. I remember the cartoon he had; Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos, I think I still have the action figures from it...I use to use him to beat up my Sectaurs. The toyline was notable for having the COOLEST Ninja's ever produced for ANY toyline of the 80's. Not only did they come in color variants but they came with all the required ninja weaponry. Great stuff.

    Though my ex had a really really good theory that he is behind the death of Bruce Lee.

  6. #6
    morbid_lady's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    i remember watching texas ranger when i was little and gettin made at my grandpa for calling him 'talker mexican stranger'.

  7. #7
    Thurbane316's Avatar Throbbing Member
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Greatest TV theme song ever, sung by big Chuck himself!

    In the eyes of a ranger,
    The unsuspecting stranger,
    Had better know the truth of wrong from right,

    'Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you,
    Any wrong you do, he's gonna see,

    When you're in Texas, look behind you,

    'Cause that's where the rangers gonna be.



  8. #8
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Quote Originally Posted by morbid_lady
    i remember watching texas ranger when i was little and gettin made at my grandpa for calling him 'talker mexican stranger'.
    Actually the strangers are the "Texans" since Texas was part of Mexico for quite a bit of time...

  9. #9
    mmmcherry's Avatar CHERRALICIOUS!!!
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Ewww, Chuck Norris... that guy creeps me out
    my thoughts exactly. i mean yeah hes cool he can do some wicked cowboy karate n shite... but EW... hes still creepy.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    yea, but I wish when Im that old, I could be in such good shape, Hes pushin 70 fairly soon I believe

  11. #11
    mmmcherry's Avatar CHERRALICIOUS!!!
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    holy shit... 70... jeebus he looks like hes only 30 still

  12. #12

    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    His Bday is March 10, 1949.. so 65 anyways

  13. #13
    mmmcherry's Avatar CHERRALICIOUS!!!
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    freaky

  14. #14
    Baby_Switchblade's Avatar Candy Perfume Girl
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Quote Originally Posted by Vitorro
    ...I wish when Im that old, I could be in such good shape
    Just, for the love of God, do NOT wax your chest and grease yourself up like he's done in that pic up there... It's a little too gross.
    Anyone seen the episode of the Simpsons where Bart's dog goes to school and gets into the air vents? And Groundskeeper Willie goes to lunchlady Doris to get greased up with vegetable oil so he can go in after it?? I am reminded somewhat.... ah, yuck.

  15. #15
    KilLAtomiK's Avatar Ceci n'est pas une pirate
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    My dad is a BIG Chuck Norris fan, im surprised he didint name me or any of my brothers Cuck

  16. #16
    evilassmaster's Avatar Exiled
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Quote Originally Posted by Tequila Zaire
    Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos, I think I still have the action figures from it...
    this is the most amazing thing I have EVER seen...except a trekkie convention in london where they would reinact scenes dressed up like the original characters, and I would through balls of paper at them.

  17. #17
    Rocktacula's Avatar Sundown, better take care
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    That's where all of you are wrong.

    I mean, who doesn't think of "Sidekicks" as a cinematic tour de force?

  18. #18
    motormenace's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    great! it just proves that even in france, tv suck! (and that america is helping! )

  19. #19

    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Quote Originally Posted by Baby_Switchblade
    Just, for the love of God, do NOT wax your chest and grease yourself up like he's done in that pic up there... It's a little too gross.
    Anyone seen the episode of the Simpsons where Bart's dog goes to school and gets into the air vents? And Groundskeeper Willie goes to lunchlady Doris to get greased up with vegetable oil so he can go in after it?? I am reminded somewhat.... ah, yuck.

    dont worry , Ive not much chest hair to speak of, its the Cherokee side of Me tht makes it so, but I dont do the waxing and greasing thing, unless the gal would like to give Me that massage and vice versa

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Found This Article You Might Enjoy On Him.

    Chuck Norris
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

    Chuck NorrisCarlos Ray Norris Jr. (born March 10, 1940), better known in the entertainment world as Chuck Norris, is a martial artist, an American action movie actor and Hollywood star.

    [edit]
    Biography
    A native of Ryan, Oklahoma, Norris has two younger brothers, one of which is Hollywood producer Aaron Norris. Norris is 1/4 Cherokee (from his father) and part British and Irish (from his mother).

    When Norris was 12, his parents divorced and he relocated to California with his mother and brothers. There, he finished high school and soon married his girlfriend, Diane Holechek. After marriage, Norris joined the United States Air Force as a Military Policeman and was sent to South Korea. It was in South Korea that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do. He has portrayed an Army Major in The Delta Force, Army Colonel in Missing in Action, and a Marine Captain during flashback scenes in his T.V. hit series Walker, Texas Ranger.

    Norris has indicated in his own biography that he has black belts in Tang Soo Do, Tae Kwon Do, and is founder of Chun Kuk Do ("Universal Way"). Mr. Norris has also practiced Judo, Shito-Ryu Karate, and Brazilian jujutsu. He is also founder of The United Fighting Arts Federation (UFAF).

    Norris returned to the United States in 1962, working for the Northrop corporation and opening a karate school, which many celebrities, including Steve McQueen attended. In 1963, his son Mike was born. A daughter, Dina followed in 1964, and a second son, Eric, in 1965. But another important moment happened in 1964: at a demonstration in Long Beach, Norris met the soon to be famous, Bruce Lee, who would ingrain Norris in martial arts history forever with his portrayal as Lee's nemesis in The Way of the Dragon. But while the two were publicly friendly, contrary to what many (including Norris himself) state, they were not close friends. Lee had repeatedly humiliated Norris during a mock sparring session in the hotel hallway at the Long Beach International Karate Championships in 1964. And Norris had offended Lee when he publicly claimed to be a better fighter than Lee. When word got back to Lee, he called Norris and openly challenged him, threatening to drive to his school to fight (Norris was teaching his black belt class at that time). According to eye witnesses, Lee made Norris hold the phone receiver up and shout in front of his black belts, "Bruce Lee is a better fighter than me!" Later, Norris wrote an apologetic letter to Lee; the original letter is currently in the care of Lee's student, Dan Insanato. Yet despite these conflicts, the two managed to set aside any differences in pursuit of their mutual film aspirations and develop a friendly public persona toward one another.


    Chuck Norris as Cordell Walker in Walker, Texas RangerIn 1968, Norris became Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact), and in 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the fighter of the year award by Black Belt magazine. It was also in 1968 that Norris made his acting debut, in the Dean Martin movie The Wrecking Crew. The greatest tragedy of Norris's life took place in 1970. His younger brother Weiland was killed in Vietnam. Norris later dedicated his Missing In Action films to his brother's memory. In 1972, he acted alongside Lee in the movie Way of the Dragon, and in 1974, McQueen encouraged him to begin acting classes at the MGM Studio.

    While at acting classes his voice and drama coach was Jonathan Harris, of Lost In Space fame. Harris taught Norris how to speak by putting his fingers in Norris's mouth, and stretching his mouth wide open. Norris describes Harris as the only man in the world who could get away with doing that to him.

    Norris' first starring role was 1977's Breaker, Breaker!, and subsequent films such as The Octagon, An Eye for an Eye, and Lone Wolf McQuade proved his increasing box office bankability. In 1984, Norris starred in Missing in Action, the first of a series of POW rescue fantasies produced by Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus and released under their Cannon Films banner. Over the next four years, Norris became Cannon's most prominent star, appearing in eight films, including Code of Silence, The Delta Force and Firewalker, in which he co-starred with Academy Award winner Louis Gossett, Jr.

    During the 1970's he taught The Price is Right host Bob Barker karate.

    In 1988, after 30 years of marriage, Norris and Holechek divorced.

    In 1990, Norris founded the non-profit organization Kick Drugs Out of America. It has since been renamed KICKSTART.

    By the close of the 1980s, Cannon Films had faded from prominence, and Norris' star appeal seemed to go with it. He reprised his Delta Force role for MGM, who had acquired the Cannon library after the latter's Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Norris went on to make several more largely ignored films before making a transition to television. In 1993, he began shooting the series Walker, Texas Ranger, which lasted eight years on CBS and continued in heavy syndication on other channels.

    He married again in 1998, this time to former model Gena O'Kelley, and she delivered twins in 2001: Dakota Alan Norris, a boy, and Danilee Kelly Norris, a girl.

    United States President George W. Bush has stated that Norris is his favorite actor.

    [edit]
    Filmography

    Movie poster of Invasion USA, starring Chuck NorrisThe Wrecking Crew (1968)
    Room 222 (1970)
    The Way of The Dragon (1972)
    The Student Teachers (1973)
    Slaughter In San Francisco (1973)
    Enter The Dragon (1973)
    Bruce Lee's The Man And The Legend (1973)
    The Warrior Within (1977)
    Breaker! Breaker! (1977)
    Game of Death (1978)
    Good Guys Wear Black (1979)
    A Force of One (1979)
    The Octagon (1980)
    An Eye for an Eye (1981)
    Silent Rage (1982)
    Forced Vengeance (1982)
    The Making of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' (1983)
    Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
    Missing in Action (1984)
    Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)
    The Making of The Terminator & Missing in Action 2 (1985)
    Code of Silence (1985)
    Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
    The Delta Force (1986)
    Firewalker (1986)
    Steve McQueen: Man On The Edge (TV, 1986)
    Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos (TV, 1986)
    Karate Daily Dozen (1988)
    Braddock: Missing In Action 3 (1988)
    Hero And The Terror (1988)
    One for the Road (TV, 1989)
    The Presidential Inaugural Gala (TV, 1989)
    Ultimate Stuntman: A tribute to Dar Robinson (TV, 1990)
    The World's Greatest Stunts (TV, 1990)
    Happy Birthday, Bugs: 50 Looney Years (TV, 1990)
    Delta Force 2: Operation Stranglehold (1990)
    Deadliest Art: The Best of The Martial Arts (1990)
    The Hitman (1991)
    Dying For a Smoke (TV, 1992)
    Sidekicks (alongside Jonathan Brandis and Danica McKellar, 1992).
    Combat Karate 1992
    Hellbound (1993)
    Walker, Texas Ranger (1993 to 2001)
    The Course of The Dragon (1993)
    Wind in The Wire (TV, 1993)
    Kids in The Crossfire (TV, 1993)
    WWF Survivor Series (TV, 1994)
    Top Dog (1995)
    Heroes of The Street (TV, 1995)
    The Immortal Masters (1996)
    Bruce Lee: The Immortal Dragon (1996)
    Forest Warriors (1996)
    Chuck Norris: Private Lesson (video, 1997)
    Logan's War: Bound by Honor (TV, 1998)
    The Path of The Dragon (video, 1998)
    Informal, El (TV, 1999)
    Sons of Thunder (TV, 1999)
    Martial Law: Honor Among Strangers (2000)
    The President's Man (TV, 2000)
    The President's Man: A Line in The Sand (TV, 2002)
    The Bells of Innocence (2002)
    Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
    The Cutter (2005)

    **

  21. #21
    t3hpurple0ne's Avatar Junior Member
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    man, Sidekicks was so cheesy but wonderful... i think i had to watch it about 50 times after gymnastics camp while i was waiting for my mom to come pick me up. lol. my friends and i loved it, when we were 9.

  22. #22
    Baby_Switchblade's Avatar Candy Perfume Girl
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    Quote Originally Posted by Vitorro
    dont worry , Ive not much chest hair to speak of, its the Cherokee side of Me tht makes it so, but I dont do the waxing and greasing thing, unless the gal would like to give Me that massage and vice versa
    hehe, fair enough then. can't argue with that, really.

  23. #23
    t3hpurple0ne's Avatar Junior Member
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    Default Re: Chuck Norris

    since i can't put the site address in yet (grrr), go check out episode VII of Waterman on newgrounds d0t c0m (getting around the "not being able to post url's cuz i'm a newbie" mess is fun)

    robotic chuck norris owes you nothing!

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